Thursday, 25 March 2010

England Won't Win The World Cup

24th March 2010, Downing Street
The Prime Minister signs a giant England shirt that is travelling around the country before it is sent to the World Cup in South Africa this summer.

That's it then.

We're fucked!



Conan the Librarian™ said...

The selfless act of a true North Briton...

The Grim Reaper said...

I concur wholeheartedly with the above comment.

Anonymous said...

Well, that's a fairly predictable reaction from you two. PMSL all the same!

btw Grim, just seen your most recent nomination. My God, do you know how long I've been waiting for someone to cunt those 2 cunts? I'm so excited that I might even do a post on it here ;-)

Anonymous said...

Ah Socialist electioneering is now in full swing....I thought they'd banned the very term "England" from their odious mindsets..

That cunt wants England to win the world cup, about as much as I want to see him re-elected.

Stop Common Purpose said...

Kiss of Death.

microdave said...

Can't someone get him to sign a slogan saying "Looking forward to a Labour Victory"??

Dioclese said...

Typical England - we invent games that the entire world can play better than us.

Shame we can't get Brown to do the same...

Corrugated Soundbite said...

See. Who needs Photoshop?? ;-)

Guido Fawkes said...


Older not Wiser said...

He's a fucking Scot! How dare he support England the bastard. Hope the Scot's find out and vote the bastard out, shall we tell 'em

Captain Haddock said...

Could he not (somehow) be persuaded to do the same on a piece of paper, which, when turned over read .. "DEATH WARRANT .. James Gordon BROWN" ???

Can't say I really give a toss about the World Cup .. it'll just attract a bunch of faux "patriots" .. with tossers flying St George's Flags from every conceivable place ..

A Flag which, when flown at any other time .. would have legions of Plod at the door, eager to feel your collar, on the grounds of Racism ..

jlilburn said...

Please forward this on the anyone English.
If the English football team was run the way British politics is............

Dear English FA

As a representative of the Scottish Football Association, I would like to inform you that we wish to change the way the English Football team is managed to bring it more in line with the way our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is running Britain.

This will involve the following:

1. The Manager of the Scottish team is allowed to be involved with the running of the English team. However, the manager of the English team should have no say whatsoever in the running of the Scottish team. This shall be known as the West Lothian Question.

2. A sizable proportion of any money the English Football Association raises from, say sponsorship or crowd takings, shall be given to the Scottish Football Association, regardless as to whether you need it or not. This does not apply the other way round. This is known as the Barnett Formula.

3. You are not to call yourself England any longer. You will now be known as the British Regions. We, on the other hand, are still to be known as Scotland, “a proud and noble nation”.

4. Medical treatment to your players will be limited to a few treatments because of cost. No such stringent limitation applies to Scotland.

5. If your playing surfaces are flooded, then do not expect much assistance. However, Scottish pitches will be adequately provided for in the event of flooding.

6. From this moment on, the English Football Association will cease to exist. However, the Scottish Football Association will be allowed to continue to work independently.

A failure to follow these rules will see you branded as arrogant, selfish and unfair.

I’m sure you will find this to your satisfaction. After all, you seem to be happy with this state of affairs with your political system, so why not your Football team?

Yours sincerely

Mr G Brown & A Darling

PS You English are so na├»ve, you are being abolished and don’t even realise it.

Gildas said...

No worries boys. When asked about recent England poor performances in friendlies and against USA and Algeria, Gordon swatted away the criticism thus:
"The Labour government spent 300% more over the last 4 years in real terms over the than the last Tory regime spent in 18 years on critical resources such as vuvulzelas for the jobless and fact finding trips for MP's and civil servants to South Africa, a record no Tory government could match! Post match analysis from the Treasury show that in fact, England won both games spectacularly, it is merely that the goals did not actually get recorded on the FIFA figures, but over the longer term economic goal cycle they will be. There is thus no deficit in goals or talent as alleged. England is on course over the long term football cycle to win the World Cup, Euro 2012, and the Olympics in 2014"      

Mike Ingham, Radio 5 Live Chief Football Correspondent, later commented:
"Stupid lying hypocritical Scottish cunt"