Giant Red Stag Shot Dead For Antlers

It was with great excitement, this morning, that I read the headline "Giant Red Stag Shot Dead For Antlers", so I hurriedly clicked through to take a look. For I was desperate to see that picture of two jags, two shags and his giant lardy arsed bulk, sprawled lifeless on the ground.

But no, apparently they were referring to another giant red stag, and alas John Prescott is still alive and troughing ... complete with antlers.

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Message To Hellesdon Hospital Norwich

Oi! Hellesdon Hospital in Norwich!

Will you stop wasting tens of thousands of pounds, of tax payers' money, on these 'Sit and Slim' vibrating Miruji chairs. Just how many of these fuckers are you intending to buy, using our cash, at £5,000 a fucking pop anyway? 

On second thoughts, I don't want to know, I'm trying to keep the blood pressure down today. Oh, and don't give me all that bollocks about how much cheaper they will be compared to forking out £15,000 for some fat fuck or other to have a gastric band fitted instead.

Fuck the chairs, fuck the gastric bands ... just tell all the fat bastards to get up off their lardy fucking arses, get some regular excercise and stop filling their gargantuan gut buckets with pizzas, pork pies, takeaways, coca-fucking-cola and any other junk shite they've been shoveling down their gullets. That way they'll save money, we'll save money and the fat twats will get shot of all that fucking lard they're carrying around.

Now get back to work, fuck the chairs off, fuck the gastric bands off, and re-direct our money to pay for much more vital resources, that will benefit the more deserving people who really are sick ... and not just self-fucking indulgent, tardy blubber mountains.

I thank you.

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New Scotland Lard Arses

Many thanks to one of my regular commentors for sending this one in. I nearly choked on my full English breakfast when I saw it! Absolutely fucking priceless . . .

click image to enlarge

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Run Fat Boy Run

In His Wet Dreams