Gordon Loves Ed's Balls

I first spotted one of these Jib Jab jobbies over at

the All Seeing Eye and thought "Fuck me I'll have some of that,

I'm sure that's just the thing for G.O.T. to have a dabble with!"

So here is my first effort . . . . 

Send Shirts and Sign the Petition - Video

 

Obama Unveils Presidential Poodle

Bollock Obummer officially announced the adoption of his new presidential poodle shortly after the recent G20 summit. Nicknamed 'Shitter', it is a rare Scottish Shitzyu breed which are renowned for being experts at burying things.

Although not fully house trained the Obummers are hoping that 'Shitter' will soon stop pissing everywhere once he gets used to the training pads. His other habit, of using his arse to smear shit on to anyone that upsets him, is thought to be due to some type of arrogant mental health problem coupled with a tendency to bark up the wrong tree.

Obummer says that he has consulted a British Lord about 'Shitter's' dirty habit and he advises him that a butt plug should cure this.

Although 'Shitter' only has one-eye, is grossly overweight due to his penchant for fois gras and also has anger management problems they are also hoping to employ an animal physcotherapist called O'Dollie D'Raper to assist with his all around well being.

Too Busy To Hold An Election!

Apparently our esteemed Prime Minister the unelected, one eyed, pant pissing lardy arse is far too busy to hold a General Election just now.

You're having a fucking giraffe aren't you?

Too busy! Too fucking busy!

Scared fucking shitless more like.

Kacking his oversized pants (makes a change from pissing them) because not even that deluded twat can possibly think he can win a General Election after pushing our Country over the precipice of an economic cliff.

Unbelievably the Rt.Hon. Gordon Brown man munching mound of margarine, thinks that he can win a snap General Election by capitalising on his "G20 summit bounce" in the opinion polls. Who the fuck did they consult for this poll? Him?

"I am not going to get into talk about dates" he said, "We have got to show people how we can take the country through this difficulty."

Fuck the fuck off.

We can already see the evidence of what you are capable of.

And we don't fucking care much for it.

click on picture to enlarge

As for hopeless Hattie Harman, she is fucking convinced that she is going to be the next party leader of the equally hopeless NuLabore. 

Apparently the man hating minge muncher is already trying to persuade slippery Jack Straw to be her leadership campaign manager.

Yes that's right.

The very same twat that managed Gordoom's and Bliar's leadership campaigns and look where that fucking got us all.

Fuck the fuck off, the whole pathetic lot of you!

That is all.

A Definition of Gordon Brown

Here's something new and a bit different for me.

Inspiration for doing a video came from The Screech who has being doing some excellent work over at his place.

Let me know what you think.

I may do a few more of these, or not, as the case may be!

I believe that this is the download link if you'd like a copy?

In His Wet Dreams

Which Ones Would You Give Him?

This post follows on from an excellent offering by the All Seeing Eye, where he suggests which DVD films might have been more appropriate to present to the Prime Mentalist rather than the ones offered by Bollock 'Half Black' Obama.

If nothing else, it is another superb opportunity to rev some more fucks into the one-eyed, snot gobbling, pant pissing, lardy arse known as Gordoom Brownfinger.

That said, here are my 10 offerings:

Some Like It 'Snot'
Close Encounters of the 'Turd' Kind
The Untouchables
Liar Liar
'Back' Hand Luke
The Lord of the Rings
The Big 'Sleazy'
Fiddler on the 'Poof'
The Usual Suspects
Rear Window

Anyone got any better suggestions?

Let's have some fun!

Every Little Helps

Gordoom Must Be Desperate

 The one eyed, incompetent in'cunt'inent sufferer is so desperate to climb into Bollock Obama's arse that he has completely lost the fucking plot and presented Ted Kennedy with a twatting knighthood.

The internet thingy wires have been shit hot between G.O.T. and the All Seeing Eye due to a mixture of utter disbelief and total enragement at this fucking ridiculous and blatant attempt by the Brownfinger (by choice) to climb into bed with the Brownfinger (by birth). The result is our first spleen venting joint post.

Mary Jo Kopechne would be 69 this year if she hadn't climbed into a car with that cunt Kennedy. And that one-eyed twat is giving him a fucking knighthood? He's a murdering piece of shit who we'd personally slap the electrodes on to and watch fry. 

Which part of 'murdering scumbag' does our one eyed, snot gobbling, arse licking prime minister fail to understand. It's just fucking unbelievable how he could stoop to such a pathetic level, plainly in an attempt to become NBF with the new messiah (no mean lying fucking twat himself we might add) so that pant pisser can offload all his fuck ups in an attempt to make everything seem fucking 'global'! Hardly a respectful gesture to one Mary Jo Kopechne, is it?

Pin your twatting ears back Gordoom, you fucking useless piece of pant pissing shite.

We repeat.

Ted Kennedy is a murderer, he doesn't deserve a fucking knighthood you cunt.

The Eye would happily fly to America purely to piss on his grave from as high an angle as his cock would manage and according to folklore that would be pretty much optimum pissing distance but he is only going to get one effort at this funeral so Viagra will be purchased in the hope of a spectacular extra couple of feet for a golden waterfall on his coffin. 

G.O.T. would happily stand on the pissecutioners shoulders at this point, with his dick in splints, to effect a twin pronged pissfest resulting in a supreme and total pisswash of the total murdering arsewipe's grave finale.

In this case we both swerve between venom and sentiment.

Mary Jo RIP

Edward Kennedy murderous cunt.

The Eye has the final thought.

If every devil he's going to meet soon, has a red-hot poker to hand, then I'll want to know why those aren't all fucking hotter and sharper.

US UK Special Relationship

It's Never His Fault

From the Daily Twatlegraph:

Brainless twat riding mobility scooter takes yet another wrong turn and ends up on dual carriageway

Apparently a senile fat twat from Westminster had popped out to pick up some incontinence pants and a tin of foie gras from his local paki shop but lost his way and ended up on a road to nowhere. Not an uncommon incident by all accounts.

Undaunted by everything going on around him the stupid old pant wetter continued on, regardless of anyone or anything around him, determined to reach his goal whatever the consequences.

He was eventually spotted by a well to do man who was riding in the back of a Rolls Royce at the time. The car pulled along side and the inappropriate looking chap wound down his blacked out window and beckoned him over. "It appears that you have lost your way again, can I give you a ride?" He said, looking over his spectacles. "I'm on my way to ManMuncher and I'll let you suck my lollipop if you like."

"Not now" said the half blind half wit " but I'll give you a ring, with pleasure, later."

The plastic police patrol were eventually called by a rather sour faced, fat bitch wearing jackboots and a small moustache, who was driving a panzer tank. "Get  this useless twat out of my way or I'll have you killed" she said "That's how much power I have. I'm very important. I have two properties paid for by anybody who is left working, you know."

The phoney cops followed the trail of piss up the road until they eventually caught up with the pathetic twat who had skidded on a pile of his own snot.

"It's not my fault!" protested the confused cunt, shaking with rage. "Somebody must have changed the road signs and made me go in the wrong direction, it's not my fault I tell you, it must have been somebody else!"

"It's not my fault!"

No, it never is your fault is it.

You one eyed, pant wetting twat!

How Sweet Of Lord Levy To Think Of Us Like That

The Condemned Man Ate A Hearty Meal

Here's a couple that I thought Fido might enjoy . . . 

Perceived Social Isolation

Thanks for this posting goes to

it's either banned or compulsory who says . . . . 

G.O.T., try staying calm and rational after reading this article which points the finger at the latest group of NHS Resources ABUSERS:

Loneliness as harmful as smoking and obesity

In outline this states that single people get ill because they lack companionship, they get as ill as smokers and the obese. Because they are single they lack self-control and are therefore more likely to 'comfort eat', give up on exercise regimes, have a second or even third 'comfort scotch' to combat feelings of loneliness and depression.

The reason they are single is because they lack social skills (which might be interpreted as being anti-social).

Statisics show that the largest number of households by size = 1
They are easily identifiable because they will have signed up for single discount Council Tax ( ie data-base already in place, cunning huh !)

Single people. The New Jews.

G.O.T. says:

Calm? Rational?

Not a fucking hope in hell.

Perceived Social Isolation!

Where the fuck did that come from?

Its called LONELINESS you scientific twats!

Why do you have to think up stupid names for things that means we have to ask what they mean which means you might as well have used the original meaning in the first place.

AND, more importantly, how many more ways are they going to find to preclude people from receiving care via the NHS. And anyway what the fuck is wrong with being single. It's not a twatting disease, you can't fucking catch it! Some people would fucking well prefer to be on their own.

AND, as EBC points out, this is yet another way for the Government to segregate innocent members of the population by stealth.

Finally, if loneliness is such a bad thing I hope Gordoom Brownfinger finds it soon by fucking the fuck off and leaving us all alone. Come to think of it he's already a fat fucker so maybe he's already half way there.

One can only wish.

At Least I Admit To Wetting Myself Gordon

My thanks go to It's Either Banned or Compulsory for this alternative version of the Smash advert. Nice one!

I'd never seen this clip before and laughed like a fucking laughing fucker, who couldn't stop fucking laughing, when I watched it. Which was good because I had a shit day today and it was just the tonic I needed. In fact I pissed myself laughing!

Derek and Clive.

Fucking brilliant, they were. Proper fucking alternative comedy from the 70's, years before all those other fuckers gave it a try.

God bless them both.

Lost

The answers aren't coming.

It's the beginning of the end.

Many A True Word

Picture from TractorStats

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. This will certainly make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the letter 'k'. This should klear up any konfusion. It also means that komputer keyboards kan have one less letter.

Publik enthusiasm for the new language will be growing in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the letter 'f'. This will make words like fotograph 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible.

Our Government will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and should b removed.

By the 4th year people wil b reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan b dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensible riten styl.

Zer vil b no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

You may laugh but if Lord Meddlesome gets his way it won't be long before he ditches the pound for the fucking Euro.

This will then leave the way clear for Gordoom Brownfinger to complete his obvious quest to turn Great Britain into a fascist state by ultimately introducing a new language.

Spreken ze Deutch?