Showing posts with label snot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snot. Show all posts

Thursday, 19 March 2009

It's A Puppet!

NuLabore Twat Toys are proud to present this one eyed, snot gobbling, lardy arsed, pant wetting, fingered puppet.

As worn by Lord Meddlebum of ManMuncher.
(Well I heard he's partial to putting his hand up his arse anyway, apparently.)

Pull the cord and 'Gordoom the Goofer'  shakes violently whilst uttering a selection of well know phrases such as "It's not my fucking fault I tell you", "I'm a useless unelected pant pisser", "I ate 3 SnottyBix for breakfast", "I love lardy cake so much that I'm turning into one" and of course the phrase that everyone loves to hear, "I'm Gordoom the Goofer and I'm a complete cunt".

Comes complete with a spare pair of dry troosers, an interchangable brown finger and a rose tinted glass eye.

Only available until Spring 2010.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Which Ones Would You Give Him?

This post follows on from an excellent offering by the All Seeing Eye, where he suggests which DVD films might have been more appropriate to present to the Prime Mentalist rather than the ones offered by Bollock 'Half Black' Obama.

If nothing else, it is another superb opportunity to rev some more fucks into the one-eyed, snot gobbling, pant pissing, lardy arse known as Gordoom Brownfinger.

That said, here are my 10 offerings:

Some Like It 'Snot'
Close Encounters of the 'Turd' Kind
The Untouchables
Liar Liar
'Back' Hand Luke
The Lord of the Rings
The Big 'Sleazy'
Fiddler on the 'Poof'
The Usual Suspects
Rear Window


Anyone got any better suggestions?

Let's have some fun!

Saturday, 28 February 2009

It's Never His Fault


From the Daily Twatlegraph:

Brainless twat riding mobility scooter takes yet another wrong turn and ends up on dual carriageway
Apparently a senile fat twat from Westminster had popped out to pick up some incontinence pants and a tin of foie gras from his local paki shop but lost his way and ended up on a road to nowhere. Not an uncommon incident by all accounts.

Undaunted by everything going on around him the stupid old pant wetter continued on, regardless of anyone or anything around him, determined to reach his goal whatever the consequences.

He was eventually spotted by a well to do man who was riding in the back of a Rolls Royce at the time. The car pulled along side and the inappropriate looking chap wound down his blacked out window and beckoned him over. "It appears that you have lost your way again, can I give you a ride?" He said, looking over his spectacles. "I'm on my way to ManMuncher and I'll let you suck my lollipop if you like."

"Not now" said the half blind half wit " but I'll give you a ring, with pleasure, later."

The plastic police patrol were eventually called by a rather sour faced, fat bitch wearing jackboots and a small moustache, who was driving a panzer tank. "Get  this useless twat out of my way or I'll have you killed" she said "That's how much power I have. I'm very important. I have two properties paid for by anybody who is left working, you know."

The phoney cops followed the trail of piss up the road until they eventually caught up with the pathetic twat who had skidded on a pile of his own snot.

"It's not my fault!" protested the confused cunt, shaking with rage. "Somebody must have changed the road signs and made me go in the wrong direction, it's not my fault I tell you, it must have been somebody else!"

"It's not my fault!"

No, it never is your fault is it.
You one eyed, pant wetting twat!