Someone Is Taking The Piss, Right?

Oh, do fuck off!

I'm just not in the mood for this kind of shit today ... or any other fucking day!

.

New Radio Required

I was listening to the radio today, while I was working, and I heard something that I hadn't realised before ..... regarding the Pope's forthcoming visit to the UK. Taxpayers are going to foot the majority of the expected £15 million bill ..... to the tune of £12 million!!

What. The. Fucking. Fucketty. Fuck. Fuck.

* gone for a lie down *

Meanwhile, Dioclese has an excellent post on the paedophillia supporting twat HERE

Quote Of The Day

"I honestly think that the prisoner who failed to kill him 

should have at least twenty years added to his sentence."

Ampers

No, No, No, No, No And Again No

28,000 frontline police officers to be axed.

But it's still a goer for the half a million fucking quid champers gala.

Council waste £130,000 on a pedestrian crossing.
You can't fucking use it.

Council ban 7 foot teddy bear.

Get fucking stuffed.

Britain's biggest wind farms paid thousands of pounds a day.

NOT to produce electricity when the fucking wind is blowing.

Britain's top judges oversee court hearings in Mauritius.
5 times in 5 years with their wives and guess who's fucking paying.

£800,000 for lavish gourmet food and champagne hospitality at Wimbledon.
Paid for by the bank that had 20 fucking billion quid of taxpayers' cash.

Give me fucking strength!

Prime Minister To Be Outsourced

Following hot on the heels of the recent news about Obama it appears, as with almost all trends, that the UK is about to follow suit. This report from the Times Online website. . .

click image to enlarge

Special thanks to MicroDave
for the excellent copywriting ;-)

Labour Pains

Snow Fucking Joke!

We don't all live within 6 fucking feet of a motorway or drive a big fuck off 4 x fucking 4. When the fuck are you grit shy Highways halfwits going to get your act together and clear the sodding snow and ice off the roads so that I can get my Christmas shopping done!

I've paid my car tax, I've paid my council tax. So I suggest that you bollocksy-piss-wank, lardy arsed, desk jockey jerk offs  get the fuck on with what I've fucking well paid you to do.

And don't give me any of that shit about "doing my christmas shopping sooner". I don't work for a government department therefore, unlike you, I have not been able to take the fucking piss and 'pop into town' to do my Christmas shopping when I was supposed to be working.

That is all.

Christmas Charity Appeal

click image to enlarge

Based on an original article written by

the excellent, satirical wordsmith, Dungeekin.

Check out his other work too, you won't be disappointed ;-)


.

Justifying Theft by Austin Mitchell

Guest Post:
An excellent piece on MP expenses by The Lone Voice . . . .


In The Grauniad, Austin Mitchell explains how MP's need your money, yet he and most of the 646 vermin infesting the House of Commons just don't get it and boy does Austin piss the commentators off.

You see - I shall explain it for Austin - we the public pay them a wage, some £64 thousand quid for a back bench MP and even more for those who take up front bench positions and yet they think that they are worthy of picking our pockets for expenses to cover everything. In fact they see it as a God given right of the high office they hold.

They are public employees, paid by us and supposed to represent our interests and needs.

Mitchell jokes:

In fact, in my own case it hasn't. I discovered on looking through my claims that my wife is insane and has learned nothing from the row (and the jokes) produced by her claims for Branston Pickle and a bottle of Laphroaig. She has claimed £75.99 for a gleaming chromium kettle. A beautiful object, but certain to annoy people in Grimsby where a kettle is a kettle. Indeed, the last one I bought there cost about a fiver.

The kettle joins another claim of £438.65 for a replacement shower and £4,100 for a new boiler, both of which replaced comparatively new counterparts which went disastrously bust. Yet it's no use explaining to constituents that my inability to take a bath or a shower left me so smelly that no one would sit next to me in the public accounts committee.

Therein is the problem, most of us, those lucky enough to still have jobs have to buy our kettles from our wages. As for getting £4,100 for a new boiler, well we pray we are insured and unlike Austin can not shaft the taxpayers for a new one; or a new shower or kettle come to that.

The same argument go's for utility bills, we have to pay them. Electric, gas, council tax and no tapping the taxpayers for free money to cover them; it all comes out of our wages.

Food is another £400 a month allowance granted to MP's, which explains the lardy shape of many MP's. Yet many on low wages/benefits after paying all their bills and rent/mortgage can but dream of having a sodding food allowance that big. Maybe Mitchell might ask himself why so many people frequent the low end food stores?...

Alas we get no mortgage interest help, no cover for ground rent (also on his expenses which can be viewed here), no help with the cushy pension at the end of it; in fact fuck all is what we get compared to an MP.

The guidelines, written by MP's and others on the gravytrain, for the benefit of those say that things claimed are supposed to wholly, necessarily and exclusively for the performance of the MP's duties. A meaningless term that has come to mean this:

the MP can get whatever he/she wants and you unwashed plebs an proles will pay for it.

I have argued that in the main, most of our MP's provide piss poor value for money. They are not a profession like say doctors or teachers, they sit no exam to enter The Commons and yet earn a wage that most can only dream about. Even many professionals look at MP's earnings with envy.

They also get more time off than the rest of us in holidays.

Indeed lets have a look at 2 more things we have helped Mr Mitchell with, that he deems wholly, necessarily and exclusively for the performance of his duties as an MP. 

• A washing machine, cost £478. 
• Home Insurance, cost £109.79.

Why in the name of all that is holy, should I have to pay for an MP's home insurance? No one pays mine.

Oh the smug feeling of self entitlement comes across, I was waiting for him to utter the immortal words "Don't you know who I am?!".

The only good thing to come out of this, is that Austin has shown the belief that MP's consider themselves better than us, somehow deserving of all they can steal to be completely correct.

After claiming back all the utility bills, food and everything else I would imagine that your average MP is left with most of their money sitting in the bank.

They are paying less in overheads in real terms than workers bringing home £200 a week.

So take a look at the MP's. They are remote, out of touch, refusing to answer e-mails, censoring comments on their websites (if they even allow them), even their letters are often poorly drafted and little more than Pravda style party wank-speak, yet MP's still want our votes and wonder why many think a pox on all your houses and do not vote.

Now all of this theft would not be so bad if the MP's actually did a half decent job, but they don't. What is moreI can prove it as well. If they did, would we be in debt and with a nation falling apart at the seams?

So ask yourself this, are they worth even a fraction of what we pay them?

Hell if rather than being in debt, we had a trade surplus and decent standard of living we might turn a blind eye to the stink of ordure from on high. Instead the finances are fucked, millions are out of work and the infrastructure is falling apart, everything from the NHS to supplying the army with equipment is screwed.

Then for an MP to joke he is getting the same treatment as a terrorist, "under extraordinary rendition and subject to regular doses of waterboarding.", oh if only. The only problem being is I and millions of others would love to waterboard you thieves, right up until the bubbles stop.

This odious little man should try living on benefits for a while, see how he copes with no savings and just a single JSA payment every two weeks. He should try the humiliation of signing on and looking for non existent jobs. He should try juggling the bills like so many, wondering which ones to put off till next month.

Austin you and most of the 646, I can sum up in one word:

CUNTS

Someone in Ipswich Shoot the Fat Bastard!

He's already cost us over a £1 million!

This gut bucketing fat fuck is costing the taxpayer over £100,000 a year. Yes! We are paying for 6 or 7 healthcare (?) workers, on a 24hr rota, to fill this fat bastards face with chips, burgers and takeaways and now we are expected to foot the bill for his NHS 'stomach banding' operation. Oh, and then there's the cost of providing a reinforced ambulance/crane/forklift to transport the Ipswich Lard Mountain to the nearest hospital.

Why the fuck didn't the carers (?) just reduce Blubber Boy's food intake in the first place?

Give me fucking strength!


+++UPDATE+++
Here's another fat bastard that needs shooting!

Piss the Pissing Piss Off

A Message Gordon CAN Read?

For a Grumpy Old Twat, I'm feeling in a particularly kind mood today. Fuck knows why, maybe because the Election is getting ever closer but it's more likely that I've had one too many bottles of my favourite Chianti ;-)

Anyway because Gordon 'Global Drug User' Brown is having a few sight issues I thought that I would help out by sending the eyesight failing fucktard a message in braille . . .

Feel the love Gordon!

Feel the fucking love of a nation!

The One Eyed Fuckwit Speaks

Courtesy of Dazed N Confused

Run That By Me Again . . .

Rapists, murderers and paedophiles.

Do your worst.

The Police have far more important things to do.