Phil Woolas Found Guilty But Will He Lose His Seat?

The front bench Labour MP, Phil Woolas, has been found guilty of illegal practices during last May's general election. He has now been barred from the House of Commons for three years, triggering a by-election in his constituency of Oldham East and Saddleworth.

However, the corrupt and gaffe prone dishonourable member cock has announced that he is seeking a judicial review. No fucking surprise there then. The problem here is that John Bercow, the slimy, two faced, speaker cock wart of the House of Commons, is responsible for making the ultimate decision as to whether a by-election will take place before or after any such judicial review.

Well ... we won't hold our fucking breath then.

Incidentally, no word yet as to whether we can expect Woolas to be hung from a lampost, with pianowire, and then have his head removed and stuck on a spike outside Traitors' Gate ... if his judicial review should be unsuccessful.

Shame.

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Look Who's Back And Look Who Else Is Back At Work Too

After nearly 200 days of the current Parliament the snot munching, pant pissing, mono eyed, unelected prime mentalist is finally going to stand up and speak in the House of Commons today. Yes, Gordon 'I saved the world fucked the UK' Brown is finally turning up to do what he is paid for.

He will be trying to defend the jobs of those working at his local shipyard, on those two aircraft carriers that we've heard so much about. The BBC, of course, are wanking themselves silly over how the deluded twat is going to do everything in his power to stop the 50-year maintenance contracts on HMS Queen Elizabeth and HMS Prince of Wales going to France.

However, they don't seem to mention anything about the £38 billion black hole that the duplicitous dickwipe left in the defence budget. Strange that. He wasn't so keen on 'British jobs for British workers' at that time, was he. The cunt.

And, if that wasn't enough great news to warm the cockles of your heart on a dreary Monday morning, another New Labour fuckwit has crawled back out from under her stone too. Yes, Jacqui Smith has finally got herself a job. Well, two actually.

One as a 'consultant' with KPMG, which won a highly lucrative contract while she was still Home Secretary, and the other is an advisory role with Sarina Russo Job Access, (fucking ironic or what?) a company run by a close friend of Tony and Cherie Blair.

Well, well, what a fucking surprise!

Jobs for New Labour mates or fucking what.

I bet Richard Timney is rubbing his hands together, so to speak, just thinking about all those new porno films that the 'Rancid Rasher from Redditch' will now be able to buy him again ... on the expense account.

New Labour.

Lying, cheating, troughing, duplicitous fucking bastards ... one and all.

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Part Of The Union

Following the events of the last few weeks, I'm surprised that no-one has taken the opportunity to have some Red Ed mockery using that old song from the 70's ...
'Part of the Union' by The Strawbs.

So here you go ...

Apologies for this video not being on EyeTube yet, due to my continuing internet access problems.

I'll update the post as soon as I've managed to upload it there ;-)

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Labour Party Conference Placard

A blank canvas to work with ... so do your worst. I'll do some versions to include the best couple of slogans and reproduce them here, if I can be arsed. Or just have a go yourself and send them in. Try and keep the messages shortish or they just won't fucking fit. Simples ;-)

The labels for this post would be my contribution

although not necessarily in that order .....

Labour Leadership Contest ++Updated++

 

Ed Miliband Forest Gump is the
new leader of the Labour Party.

What a total inbred fuckwit.

That'll be Labour consigned to political oblivion

for another 10 fucking years then.

Good. The twatting cunts.

++ UPDATE++

iDave's official response (ahem) to the

new liebore leader is available HERE

Ellie Sucks Up To Balls

Unless you can think of a better caption of course?

How very progressive. Ellie Gellard gives Balls the benefit of her deft fingertip skills during yesterday's live webchat on Mumsnet which actually involved all 5 of the Labour leader candidates, in yet another pointless display of 'huffing and puffing, before Dave MiniBlair is duly 'elected'.

If you look at the same webchat from another angle, you will see that Balls is the only one incapable of typing for himself. Fuck me, even his prime mentalist mentor managed the odd stubby finger or two on such occasions!

However, Balls did manage a rebuttle of his unshakeable bullying tag: "If you have a surname like mine, you know what bullying is like when you are a child. I hate bullies I think they are cowards. So if you don't shut the fuck up I'll rip your fucking ears off and use them for ashtrays".

Other highlights included a laptop malfunction for Andy Burnham, after he spilt mascara all over his keyboard, and Diane Abbott announcing: "I have no advisors on this campaign, isn't though, I'm quite capable of finking for myself, innit, and writing my own speeches. Dew get me?" Oh, and Dave MiniBlair's biscuit of choice is a custard cream but rumours that Ed MiliMinor still enjoys a rusk dipped in warm milk were unconfirmed.

Back Soon

Apologies for the lack of blogging activity recently but I've had other more pressing issues that seem to have stolen my time of late. Abnormal service fuckwittery will soon be resumed but in the meantime here is a 'shopped picture of Tony Bliar and Jonah Brown that I did a while back and never got around to actually using.

Perhaps you could come up with a caption or two or just take this opportunity to rip this pair of UK fucking, duplicitous, book writing, New Labour dickwipes a new arsehole or two ;-)

Peter Mandelson The Third Man

Maybe a little predictable but somebody had to do it,

so it might as well be me .......

Appeal Refused

That'll be some good news for a change then.

Now .... perhaps someone will be kind enough to throw the fucking key away.

Labour Mentality Lives On

A new Government funded college course is claiming to prepare young women for the business world. "The course was a good chance for the girls to have a go at something different, in addition to the sports, dance and singing clubs on offer"

The 6 week course is run by Chyna Whyne who claims her life was made a misery because she wasn't taught (wait for it .... wait for it .... and find something suitable to bite on, if you're easily riled) how to walk in high heels at a young age. Yes, that's fucking right! Never mind all the other thousands of things that would be far more fucking useful out there, in the big bad world of business, let's teach teenage girls how to 'totter-the-fuck-around' in high heels shall we.

And the name of this Government funded waste of fucking money?
"Sexy Heels In The City".

Give me fucking strength!*

*(and an extra bottle of vin rouge, which I reckon Ampers ought to pay for.
He emailed me the link which sent my piss into a state of fucking hyper boil)

Any Final Words For Gordon . . .

. . . before I start on Dave Cleggeron and Nick Camerlegg who are currently involved in a 'let's-see-if-we-can-grow-a-pair-between-us' love in. There's got to be a caption or two in this picture somewhere..... Snotty, the wicked witch, two little boys (fnarr) plus Balls, bad Al and Lordy Bumcheeks who are clapping and gurning like the fuckwit fucktards that they all are, until the bitter end ......

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Adam Boulton V Alastair Campbell ++Video++

Car crash TV as Alastair Campbell winds up Adam Boulton, live on Sky TV, who then totally loses it. Real anger as Adam gives Alastair both barrels after he puts words in his mouth.

Well worth a watch .......

Sky News Is Shit

So they say, and "Sack Kay Burley, watch the BBC", are the chants from protesters, during a live broadcast on Sky News this afternoon. Who are these protesters and why are they doing it? Have a look at the following clip and keep an eye open for the placards in the background. That'll give you a clue.

'Fair Votes Now'. Yes, that's right. The very same people who were involved with the protest outside the LibDem meeting in Smith Square today. The very same people that were part of the #takeitback demonstration, that confronted Nick Clegg, insisting that Proportional Representation is included with any Conservative Party negotiations. Now why would that be? And who is that woman interviewed during the demonstration, by the BBC?

Her name is Pam Giddy, she is a director of Power 2010. You remember them don't you? They're were the supposedly democratic reform group that contacted everyone in the right wing blogosphere, telling us to get involved. Pam Giddy's boss is Helena Kennedy, a good friend of Julia Middleton. Yes, she of Common Purpose infamy. Then there's the 'old friend' of the conservative and libertarian blogosphere, Neil Lees (aka UKFightback), a UAF and New Labour communist who is also heavily involved in Power 2010. Here's a screen grab of a comment that he left on this post today:

Two other names of note, that are associated with Power 2010, are Billy Bragg and BBC reporter fuckwit Robert Peston. 'Nuff said. Oh, and Billy Bragg was also clearly visible at the 'Fair Votes Now' demo, today. Since when has that lefty fucktard been a LibDem then? 

So where does that leave us?

In conclusion, I'm going to stick my neck out and say this......... it is a blatant and well co-ordinated attempt by the Labour Party, and their supporters, to deliberately disrupt the 'hung parliament' discussions between the LibDem's and Conservatives. They are hoping to force the issue on PR, hoping the talks will break down due to the fact that Gordon Brown has already offered it and David Cameron is very reluctant.

As for Sky, we all know that the the Labour left have a mutual hate for all things Rupert Murdoch and the BBC aren't going to complain either. After all, David Cameron wants to abolish the licence fee, doesn't he?

As for me, I would like to see true Democracy in this country and some sort of PR must surely be the way to go, but at the price of jumping into bed with lefty commo fuckwits? I don't fucking think so.

However, there are always two sides to an arguement and OH has a very different opinion on the matter.

What say you?

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General Election Results +++LIVE BLOG+++ Come And Join Us

The Death of Gordon Brown and Labour

The excitement is building, here at G.O.T. Towers, as the big day has now finally arrived. The day when the unelected, snot gobbling, mono eyed, pill popping, bigot baiting, prime mentalist, Gordon Bully Boy Brown finally gets wiped out. Along with his beloved and much hated Labour Party.

The smell of political death is in the air and the stench gets ever more pungent as the day goes on. Bwaahahahahaha, not long to go now until the Big Sleep . . . . and then there's the funeral tomorrow.

Now that'll be fun.

I'm off to vote/write something suitably Gottish on my ballot paper and will no doubt be my usual self, if any of those clip board fuckwits approach the Grumpy Old Twat after he exits the polling station. Cue the now customary 'tut-tuts' from Pigsy when she has to accompany me on such occasions.

Never mind, I'll make it up to her later ...... I'll let her pop down to the Wine Shop with a shopping list so that she can pick up my vital supplies for tonight. Now where did I put my wallet. Oh dear, sorry luv, can't seem to lay my hands on it at the moment. Good job I'm in an excellent mood today ..... I'll even let her pay as well.

I'm just too fucking nice sometimes ;-)

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Election Night LIVE BLOG

It's almost here...the night that should see only the second change of a ruling party in the UK since 1979.

We'll be hosting another LiveBlog; this time starting when the polls close at 10pm and finishing when the last Moderator expires from alcohol poisoning or falls asleep in the early (or not so early) hours of the morning.

Will Balls get castrated?
Will Jacqui get porned?
Will Hazel get squirreled away?
Will Gordon finally fuck the fucking fuck off?

Oh, and just out of interest, you can find the declaration times for 2005 right here.

This mega election night 10 blog 'chat' collaboration will be hosted by All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Biased-BBC, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Man Widdecombe, Subrosa and The Red Rag, - all excellent and highly recommended blogs. Check 'em out!

Join us for a night of high drama and hilarity tomorrow night at 10.00pm, as soon as the polls close.

Come Home To Labour

During a speech desperate plea in Manchester yesterday, Gordon Brown has urged people to "come home to Labour" because under 13 years of their Government the country has changed "for the better and for ever".

Is that fucking right!

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Balls Of Steal ++Updated++

How well do you know Ed Balls?

What do you really know about Gordon Brown's bully boy in chief

and Labour candidate for Morley and Outwood?

Claiming £33 for poppy wreaths is fucking disgrace!

The Sunlight Centre for Open Politics has bought advertising space in
the Yorkshire Post, Yorkshire Evening Post, Morley and Outwood Observer
and Wakefield Express, attacking Ed Balls for expenses abuse.

More details here.

The Votes Are In The Post

Unsurprisingly, postal vote fraud during this election appears to be rife.

It's so bad, that for the first time ever, a group of Commonwealth Election Monitors have been dispatched to scrutinise the UK Election results. These people are more used to supervising election results in banana republics.

That says it all really.

As is usual in New Labour Britain, we won't hear the official result of any postal vote fraud investigation until after the Election. By which time it'll be too late but that, of course, is just what Gordon Brown and his desperate band of 'win at any cost' Stasi stormtroopers want. 

Isn't it.

And another thing ........

Gisajob

click the pic of the unemployable fuckwits to enlarge