So the here are the top 3, in a suitably twattish reverse order:
Finally we have the winner ..... now I've been around a bit and not a lot takes me by surprise but the final example takes first place, hands down, by a length. So .... just to show that I can be a tad decent, from time to time, I've decided to provide a link to the cream of the crop so that you can't say I didn't warn you.
The Grumpy Old Twat Parenting Skills of the Year Award