BBC Children In Need

I see that those politically correct cretins at the BBC aren't satisfied with just having Pudsey anymore .... this year our kids have been introduced to another bear called Blush.

It's *ahem* dark furred and female. 

Oh for fuck's sake, where will all this righteous PC fuckwittery end!

To be honest, I don't really give a fuck. My own children will be in need, and their children, and their childrens' children, for years to come ... they're fucking bankrupt, no thanks to 13 years of New Labour and the total inadequacies of the LibConDem Coagulation.

So BBC Children In Need can fuck the fuck off.

Charity begins at home as far as I'm concerned.

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Tesco Twat Of The Week

We can only admire the resourcefulness and determination of Tesco who managed to build a brand new store from scratch, and have it open for business, in just 13 days. Ok, so it wasn't all about helping those poor Cumbrians, Tesco did stand to lose a shit load of cash ... fair fucking play though, all the same:

Hmmm ... but I still can't help but wonder where the fuck they find some of their staff from though. Most of us have been subjected to the twattishness of a Tesco Twatco twat from time to time, haven't we?

Killemallletgodsortemout recently dropped me a line to pass on a 'jobsworth experience' that his lad had the other day in Tesco. He'd just used a self-service checkout to scan two packets of paracetemol ...

Fat slut-bitch waddles over and says:

"You're only allowed two packets of paracetemol."

Killemall Jnr says:

"I've only got two packets."

FSB:

"Yes, but just so you know, you're only allowed two packets."

Killemall Jnr:

"You've just wasted your breath in saying that, haven't you?

I'VE ONLY GOT TWO PACKETS.

Anyway, what are you, the paracetemol police?"

FSB:

"There's no need for that."

Killemall Jnr:

"There's every need for that.

Keep your interfering, jobsworth beak out of my life."

FSB:

"I'll call the manager."

Killemall Jnr:

"Call who you like. You'll be calling them for absolutely no good reason, won't you, and I'll take great pleasure in letting them know how you harassed me for no good reason. In fact, I think I might sue the company. In fact, come to think of it, calling the manager might be a good idea and I might end up with free groceries for a year or two, all thanks to you interfering unnecessarily in matters that are of no concern to you whatsoever ... and harassing shoppers as they go about their lawful activity of spending money in the store for which they are responsible, the customers of which pay your wages."

No manager, no free groceries ...

but his lad now DETESTS the legacy of New Labour as much as he does.

..

Nosebleed News

Taxi drivers in Southampton have been warned they could be suspended if they do not remove St George flags from their cars saying they speak English.

What the fucking fucketty buggery bollocks!

I can't tell you any more, I've got fucking nosebleed.

The rest is here.

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Offensive M&S Christmas TV Advert

The Advertising Standards Authority have been receiving complaints, from a handful of fuck-all-better-to-do righteous retards, about the latest Christmas TV advert from Marks and Spencer. Apparently the fucknuts find it 'offensive', 'sexist' and 'demeaning'.

What a load of old bollocks!

I can't see a problem with it. Can you?

Offensive Marks and Spencer Christmas TV Advert
by GrumpyOldTwat

Subliminal Labour

A subliminal message in response to the insidious erosion of democracy, for the majority, by Gordoom Brownfinger, Lord Fondleboys and the rest of their corrupt Labour Government.

Subliminal Labour
by GrumpyOldTwat

Who Are You Calling A Paki?

Am I right in thinking that Paki is just an abbreviation of the word Pakistani?

Two years ago Prince Harry called a colleague of his "Our little Paki friend", a remark for which he has recently been asked to apologise for.

The Pakistani in question was a friend of Harry's for fucks sake!

Am I also right in thinking that Brit is an abbreviation of British?

Therefore, should The Sun newspaper (chav comic) be asked to apologise every time it prints the word Brit? As in, The Brits are coming etc. Is the word Brit offensive too?

Is Scot offensive? What about Aussie, Kiwi, Pommie, Limey? The Cornish call holidaymakers Grockles, what's wrong with that?

If a Pakistini called you "His Brit friend" Would you be offended? Would you also demand an apology to be made on National TV and in the Press?

Of course you fucking wouldn't!

Where will all this fucking Righteous crap end?

Del Trotter mentions "The Paki shop" in an episode of Only Fools & Horses. This word has now been overdubbed for the repeat showings on UK Gold.

Should Sir David Jason apologise? What about John Sullivan or the BBC?

Should they fuck!

What about the 'Fuzzywuzzies' in Dads Army or "You stupid Kraut" in Fawlty Towers?

Both of these series are still being regularly repeated without any overdubbing.

What's the fucking difference?

All those brainless, Righteous fuckwits are doing is inciting racial hatred. It's fucking lunacy!

I'm not offended in the slightest when called  Brit, British, English, Pommie, Limey or whatever else the fuck you want to call me. I just don't give a flying fuck.

I only care when I'm being called a racist for no apparent, logical reason.

There seems to be an underlying trend for this kind of ridiculous, over zealous approach to race. Nobody within the Government, or local politics for that matter, seems to have the common fucking sense to draw the line and put a stop to this bollocks.

Grow the fuck up, you 'jobsworth' wankers!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Brit Awards on 18th February.

Incidentally, there will never be a Paki Awards, thanks to all the zealots, racists, bigots and Righteous shit-for-brains.

Never.

Anyhow, there will be many of our Paki friends at the Brit Awards and I'm sure that we Brits won't mind at all.

Will we?

Carry On Signing Again

Here are a few signs that are utterly pointless,

as far as I'm concerned

but Nanny just seems to love them.

As for this one? Its fucking ridiculous, read it closely . . . 

. . . . the real message is almost lost in amongst

the Health & Safety bollocks.

Twats!