For One Week Only

Hello. Hello. Is anybody still there? Just in case there is, you might like to know that the Grumpy Old Twat has awoken from his red wine fuelled slumber, got up off his lazy old fat fuck of an arse and come out of retirement.

Don't get too fucking excited, it's only for a week and it won't be here either.

I'll be over here ... if you're at all interested ;-)

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World Cup Snow Balls

Like a lot of people in the UK at the moment, I seem to be at the mercy of that mild autumn weather that the Met Office promised us all. Yep! This grumpy old twat is knee fucking deep in flakes of global warming and unable to get to work (a-fucking-gain).

So I popped on the Sky News to catch up with all the latest headlines MSM filtered fuckwittery  and ... what the fuck! I was greeted with some be-spectacled, suit wearing, numbnuts in Zurich banging on nineteen to the fucking dozen in dago-ese or some such bollocks. Apparently I had arrived just in time to hear the live presentation of Spain and Portugal's World Cup bid... or some such shit.

What's worse is that I very soon realised that all this 'live' World Cup bid bollocks is going on all fucking day! This is 'news' is it? Who the fuck cares? Oh, how silly of me, I almost forgot that's why the the Twat Boy Three are over there .... England are making a bid for the World Cup in 2018 *yawn*. Yes, iDave the spineless euro cock sucker, Willie (whose name sounds like a cock and has a big cock) and Becks a bottled lager a  talentless cock who once kicked a bladder around on some grass for 90 minutes (like a complete cock), are trying to secure the bid to host the 2018 World Cup in England.

The only reason they are there is 'automatic qualification'. England are so shit at football they don't stand a fucking chance in qualifying any other way. The over payed, talentless, tosspots are far to busy drink driving their Bentley's and taking their teammates' wives up the wrong 'un to have the where with all to actually do what they are fucking paid for!

Now where was I? Oh yes ....

Oi, Highways Dept desk jockey jerk offs ... pin your fucking ears back!

We don't all live within 6 fucking feet of a motorway or drive a big fuck off 4 x fucking 4. When the fuck are you twats going to get your act together and clear the sodding snow off the roads so that I can get back to work and earn some fucking money!

We're not all work shy employees of the state you know.

Some of us REALLY do want to work.

I've paid my car tax, I've paid my council tax. So I suggest that you lardy arsed, desk jockey jerk offs  get the fuck on with what I've fucking well paid you to do!

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BBC Children In Need

I see that those politically correct cretins at the BBC aren't satisfied with just having Pudsey anymore .... this year our kids have been introduced to another bear called Blush.

It's *ahem* dark furred and female. 

Oh for fuck's sake, where will all this righteous PC fuckwittery end!

To be honest, I don't really give a fuck. My own children will be in need, and their children, and their childrens' children, for years to come ... they're fucking bankrupt, no thanks to 13 years of New Labour and the total inadequacies of the LibConDem Coagulation.

So BBC Children In Need can fuck the fuck off.

Charity begins at home as far as I'm concerned.

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Vince Cable Dictates Leader Of Libertarian Party UK

Well, maybe that title is a tad unfair ... but what Vince Cable, predictor of 23 of the last 11 economic recessions, does appear to be doing is dictating who CAN'T be the next leader of the Libertarian Party (LPUK). Namely .... Andrew P. Withers.

Now, before I go any further, and just in case you are new here, I'll repeat the fact that I have never had any affiliations to any political party. Ever. I am my own man. Therefore, I don't really give a flying fuck who is going to be the next leader of LPUK. It's no skin off my nose and it's none of my damn business either to be honest.

However, what I do give a flying fuck about is the basic principle that's involved here. The fact that some jumped up Limp Dumb Coagulant of a fascist fuckwit, namely St Vince of the Cable sweater, is dictating to ANY British political party, whether a minority one or not, who they can or can't have as their chosen party leader.

Here's a quote from an emailed letter received from Vince Cable’s Solicitors, Osborne Clarke, dated 12th November 2010 to the Bristol District Registry:

‘Our Client does not consider that Mr Withers has currently demonstrated sufficient need for leave in respect of the (Libertarian Party)’

What the fucking fuck is that all about. Who the fuck does Vince Cable think he is? I was under the impression that we still live in a democracy here, despite the apparent efforts of our government and the EU to ultimately deny us all of of this.

I dunno ... maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree here but IPJ has all the latest developments over at his place .... see what you think. Meanwhile, I remain totally fucking stunned by the long term ramifications, of this kind of fascist intervention, into the democratic election of any leader of a British political party.

Fuck me!
I thought New Labour lost the last general election.

They did .... didn't they?

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The Fuckwittery Continues

Here are five more pieces of fuckwittery that'll be almost guaranteed to wipe the that smile off your face and quickly raise the temperature of your piss to boiling point. All five of the fuckwittering fuckers had me screaming 'fuck off' at my, now spittle splattered, widescreen monitor .... then rushing off to pressure wash and steam clean the garden path.

A-fucking-gain!

Government plans to sell off nearly one million acres of Britain's forests

Legislation protecting Forest of Dean, Sherwood Forest and other ancient woodlands, some included in the 1215 Magna Carta, are likely to be changed to give private firms the right to cut down trees.

Top tips to help you Green your Halloween
Halloween creates a lot of waste, dropped sweet wrappers, discarded plastic masks, and unwanted pumpkins. Fear not! Ecologically minded websites are giving us all tips on how to protect the environment, this Halloween.

Slot Gob's sister converts to Islam after a holy experience

"It was a Tuesday evening and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy. Now I don’t eat pork and I read the Koran every day. I’m on page 60."

No more beef, cheese, tea and coffee it'll help combat climate change

We must eat more vegetables and pulses to reduce food transportation and start using microwave ovens and pressure cookers to reduce energy consumption, say the Government food police.

Plainclothed traffic wardens in unmarked cars issuing parking fines
London council continues using covert tactics despite the Parking and Traffic Appeals service overturning the fines issued by non-uniformed officers.

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