Lib Lab Con Coalition

Gordon Brown Begs Clegg In Downing Street Speech

click pic to see Gordon Brown's speech notes

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Highlight of Election Night ++Update++

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General Election Results +++LIVE BLOG+++ Come And Join Us

The Death of Gordon Brown and Labour

The excitement is building, here at G.O.T. Towers, as the big day has now finally arrived. The day when the unelected, snot gobbling, mono eyed, pill popping, bigot baiting, prime mentalist, Gordon Bully Boy Brown finally gets wiped out. Along with his beloved and much hated Labour Party.

The smell of political death is in the air and the stench gets ever more pungent as the day goes on. Bwaahahahahaha, not long to go now until the Big Sleep . . . . and then there's the funeral tomorrow.

Now that'll be fun.

I'm off to vote/write something suitably Gottish on my ballot paper and will no doubt be my usual self, if any of those clip board fuckwits approach the Grumpy Old Twat after he exits the polling station. Cue the now customary 'tut-tuts' from Pigsy when she has to accompany me on such occasions.

Never mind, I'll make it up to her later ...... I'll let her pop down to the Wine Shop with a shopping list so that she can pick up my vital supplies for tonight. Now where did I put my wallet. Oh dear, sorry luv, can't seem to lay my hands on it at the moment. Good job I'm in an excellent mood today ..... I'll even let her pay as well.

I'm just too fucking nice sometimes ;-)

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Election Night LIVE BLOG

It's almost here...the night that should see only the second change of a ruling party in the UK since 1979.

We'll be hosting another LiveBlog; this time starting when the polls close at 10pm and finishing when the last Moderator expires from alcohol poisoning or falls asleep in the early (or not so early) hours of the morning.

Will Balls get castrated?
Will Jacqui get porned?
Will Hazel get squirreled away?
Will Gordon finally fuck the fucking fuck off?

Oh, and just out of interest, you can find the declaration times for 2005 right here.

This mega election night 10 blog 'chat' collaboration will be hosted by All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Biased-BBC, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Man Widdecombe, Subrosa and The Red Rag, - all excellent and highly recommended blogs. Check 'em out!

Join us for a night of high drama and hilarity tomorrow night at 10.00pm, as soon as the polls close.

Leaders' Wives Election Special

Samantha Cameron, Sarah Brown and Miriam Gonzalez Durantez star in this ELECTION SPECIAL pisstake which has clever "choose your own" endings... so that you can see what happens if Labour wins, the Tories win, the Lib Dems win (yeah right, like that's gonna fucking happen) or if it's a Hung Parliament.

My favourite ending has got to be the Tory one where Sam Cam tells the other wives to 'fuck off'. No. Really.

Thanks to Isabel Fay, from Clever Pie,  for sending this in.

She's the one that plays Mrs Cleggover ;-)

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Election Debate Rap

Come Home To Labour

During a speech desperate plea in Manchester yesterday, Gordon Brown has urged people to "come home to Labour" because under 13 years of their Government the country has changed "for the better and for ever".

Is that fucking right!

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Balls Of Steal ++Updated++

How well do you know Ed Balls?

What do you really know about Gordon Brown's bully boy in chief

and Labour candidate for Morley and Outwood?

Claiming £33 for poppy wreaths is fucking disgrace!

The Sunlight Centre for Open Politics has bought advertising space in
the Yorkshire Post, Yorkshire Evening Post, Morley and Outwood Observer
and Wakefield Express, attacking Ed Balls for expenses abuse.

More details here.

The Votes Are In The Post

Unsurprisingly, postal vote fraud during this election appears to be rife.

It's so bad, that for the first time ever, a group of Commonwealth Election Monitors have been dispatched to scrutinise the UK Election results. These people are more used to supervising election results in banana republics.

That says it all really.

As is usual in New Labour Britain, we won't hear the official result of any postal vote fraud investigation until after the Election. By which time it'll be too late but that, of course, is just what Gordon Brown and his desperate band of 'win at any cost' Stasi stormtroopers want. 

Isn't it.

And another thing ........

Fetch The Mind Bleach

Holy mouthwash!

Labour PPC Angela Smith appears to have been indulging in a spot of snowballing*with Gordon Brown whilst he was out on the campaign trail in Basildon today**, along with a minor celeb*** buddy of his. 

Mind you it's not the first time that the unelected douche bag has been snapped whilst apparently performing such a party trick. Remember that meeting with Nancy Pelosi last year?

Bloody Hell! Wait until Lord Manmucher of Fondleboys catches up with him at that BandB in Cookham tonight. He ain't gonna be too chuffed that Luvver Boy Brown has been at it again and there'll certainly be no sweet music on the pink oboe çe soir, that's for sure ;-)

*This link is seriously sick and will have you reaching for the mind bleach within nanoseconds if you click on it. Don't say you haven't been warned!

**This picture ain't too easy on the eye either but if you've already clicked the first link, a little more mind bleach should do the trick.

***Duncan Bannatyne was there too but he's another one of those Labour supporting cunt bubbles, so I couldn't be fucked to mention him.

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Gordon The Penitent Sinner

Back in a former life, when I used to write the odd headline or two, I used to pray (ouch) for a picture like this to come along :

It made the job so much easier and so much fun. Set the pun-o-meter to max and fill yer fucking boots, the possibilities for mockery are endless. The above pic appeared today on the front page of The Sun and in the accompanying article, about who's going to replace the unelected knob jockey, they've certainly gone to town on the puns.

Thy will be gone, oh Gord, altar ego, praying for a miracle, etc.etc,

However, on this occasion I've decided to give the puns a miss (thank fuck for that I hear you say) and I fired up the photoshop cuntshop instead because I suddenly remembered another photo of a stained glass window that's been doing the rounds lately ......

There.
That's better ;-)

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Are You A Floating Voter?

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Gisajob

click the pic of the unemployable fuckwits to enlarge

Cheerfully Depressing

I was feeling quite chipper this morning, considering I'm a grumpy old twat with a hangover, but during my Sunday morning surf session I came across this cheerful ditty. A really catchy tune with a well put together video but 'fuck me' what a depressing sentiment. The worrying thing is ..... it ain't fucking far from the truth.

All together now:

Conservative or Labour

where's the fucking choice,

Who the fucking hell's Nick Clegg

the people have no voice,

If you think there'll be a sea change

then you'd better think again,

'cause voting changes nothing

apart from the fucking Government's name

No thanks to Obo for completely
fucking up my unusually cheerful mood this morning

Brown Bollocks Balls

Ed Balls: Have Your Say Part Deux

Do remember this post the other day, where we discovered that Ed Balls YouTube channel had 'comments on' and no moderation? Well there's another nice little opportunity to 'have your say with Ed', all you need is a Twitter or Facebook account.

He's out on the hustings and has been posting on his TwitPhoto page this morning. Once again, the comments are on and there's no moderation (will that totally out of touch twat ever learn?). Here's my comment on the lastest photo.....

Why not have a go yourself here.

Go on, you know you want to ;-)

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LibLab Coalition

click image to enlarge

or wait 'til the hangover's gone

Labour Car Crash Poster

click image to enlarge
or go to fucking Specsavers