Student Protests : You Won't See This Version In The MSM

Police kicking out at what appear to be peaceful protesters and then deliberately forcing them back towards the trouble ? What the fuck is that all about then? Anyone would think that they were under strict instructions to incite a riot ... rather than try their best to prevent one.

What say you?

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Sergeant Mark Andrews Cleared Of Assault ++Update 2++

I shit you not.

Sergeant Mark Andrews, who was caught on CCTV assaulting Pamela Somerville at Melksham police station in Wiltshire, has had his earlier 6 month jail sentence quashed after 'winning' an appeal today.

Lets have a look at the evidence again ....

What. The. Fuck!

I must be seeing things then because the Judge Bean at Oxford Crown Court has now said, after a four-day hearing, that he was satisfied Sergeant Andrews did not intend to throw Ms Somerville into the cell and that the injuries she suffered were probably caused by falling down the stairs the door frame.

Meanwhile, Sergeant Shitwipe remains suspended from duty on full pay pending the result of an internal police enquiry. Yeah right ... any guesses to the outcome of that then?

We are all so fucked .... or as Old Holborn would say, welcome to East Germany.

+++ UPDATE +++

And how they rejoice in rural Wiltshire!

"There are three excellent consequences to this decision. First, Andrews is exonerated. Second, the handwringers will go absolutely orbital, which will be fun to see and finally, Wiltshire ACPO have been shown to be more interested in public image than truthful reality."

Oh, just fuck off back to your tea and doughnuts will you.


+++ UPDATE 2 +++

I thought that this fairly recent quote from James Bulger's mother was rather apt,
in the current circumstances :
"Once again justice has not been done"

She said it after John Venables had been given a sentence of only 2 years, from a possible maximum of ten, after being convicted of child porn offences. Apparently, this was because the crimes were blamed on the "isolation and fear", that Venables felt, while living under a false name after his early release from jail for killing James Bulger.

Oh, do fuck off! Some of the photos that 'aroused' Venables were of two year olds .... the same age  James Bulger was when brutally murdered by Venables.

Why tell you all this now?

Well ... who do you think the fucking judge was?

All previous posts on Sgt Andrews can be found here

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Sergeant Mark Andrews Gets A Retrial

You remember Sergeant Mark Andrews ... he's the vile copper that carried out a brutal attack on petite Pamela Somerville, the horrific incident was captured on CCTV and, quite rightly, it caused outrage amongst us all at the time.

Following the 'free facelift and body tuck', in a Wiltshire police farce custody suite, Sgt Shitwipe was given a pathetically inadequate 6 months jail sentence which he immediately appealed against. So, after only 6 days in jail, he was allowed to go free, on bail, and on full pay pending the result.

However, I have just discovered that is all total bollocks! Sgt Andrews is not out on bail awaiting the outcome of an appeal against his sentence.... the totally insane, vile, brutal and cowardly thug is out on bail because he has now been granted a re-trial against his conviction!

What the fucking, fucketty fuck fuck is that all about?

That now means that poor Pamela Somerville, who had her face re-arranged by that bastard, will have to face him again in court and re-live the whole fucking nightmare to give her evidence for a second time. Fucking hells bells! What the fuck is there to tell. All everyone needs to know is quite clearly visible on the fucking CCTV footage, for fuck's sake.

Or ... is this yet another case of the Superintendent Mike Shaw ethic :
"CCTV images can never show the whole story"

Absolutely un-fucking-believable!

The re-trial is scheduled for 15th November at the same Oxford Magistrates Court as the original trial. Meanwhile, a Wiltshire police farce spokesman says "He is no longer in prison and so remains on full pay in accordance with national regulations."

Fuck the regulations! Fuck the legal system!

Andrews has been totally caught in the act. If that cowardly cunt had any ounce of fucking decency in his vile body, he would hold his hands up and take his punishment like a man. Not only is he cowardly in carrying out such a brutal attack on a defenceless woman, he continues to enhance his cowardly prowess by trying to wriggle the fuck out of something which he has no fucking moral right to do so.

I thought that the police were supposed to set a fucking example!

His mental torture of Pamela Somerville continues .....

Previous posts on Sergeant Mark Andrews, and the CCTV video, can be found here and here.
Thanks to 'Fascist Hippy' for the heads up on the re-trial.
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Merseyside Police Beat Stab Victim

This jaw dropping video is 4 minutes 37 seconds of CCTV footage, taken by the cameras of Liverpool City Council, as 3 Merseyside police officers come to the 'aid' of Darren Grace who they had found staggering around Stanley Park, disorientated and bleeding. He had recently been the victim of a stab wound to the head during a party at a house nearby.

What follows next is almost un-fucking believable.

Watch it all, if you can stomach it, even the WPC has a fucking go ....

Even more un-fucking-believable, according to the full report in the Liverpool Echo, is that after this 'event' Darren Grace was initially charged with two counts of assaulting a police officer.

What the fuck!

However, those charges were eventually dropped when the Crown Prosecution Service saw the tape and realised there wasn’t enough evidence “to provide a realistic prospect of a conviction”.

No fucking shit Sherlock!

Superintendent Mike Shaw, from Merseyside Police’s Professional Standards Department, said "As a police force we expect the highest standards from our officers ... In this case I understand that members of the public will be concerned when watching this footage. However I would like to stress that CCTV images can never show the whole story."

You have got to be shitting me. What the fuck I have just watched there then? A kind bobby helping a frail old lady across the road? Oh, just do fuck off.

And another thing if "CCTV images can never show the whole story", how the fuck is it that the police can charge and prosecute members of the public, whilst using CCTV footage as key evidence.

Which the fuck is it it then Mikey baby? Is CCTV footage allowable as evidence or not? No, don't bother bastard well answering that. We can kinda guess what the response will be, eh.

Incidentally, no charges have yet been brought against any of the officers involved .. in fact they haven't even been suspended yet. The incident happened on August 1st.

I'm off for a lie down.

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The Fuckwittery Continues

Here are five more pieces of fuckwittery that'll be almost guaranteed to wipe the that smile off your face and quickly raise the temperature of your piss to boiling point. All five of the fuckwittering fuckers had me screaming 'fuck off' at my, now spittle splattered, widescreen monitor .... then rushing off to pressure wash and steam clean the garden path.

A-fucking-gain!

Government plans to sell off nearly one million acres of Britain's forests

Legislation protecting Forest of Dean, Sherwood Forest and other ancient woodlands, some included in the 1215 Magna Carta, are likely to be changed to give private firms the right to cut down trees.

Top tips to help you Green your Halloween
Halloween creates a lot of waste, dropped sweet wrappers, discarded plastic masks, and unwanted pumpkins. Fear not! Ecologically minded websites are giving us all tips on how to protect the environment, this Halloween.

Slot Gob's sister converts to Islam after a holy experience

"It was a Tuesday evening and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy. Now I don’t eat pork and I read the Koran every day. I’m on page 60."

No more beef, cheese, tea and coffee it'll help combat climate change

We must eat more vegetables and pulses to reduce food transportation and start using microwave ovens and pressure cookers to reduce energy consumption, say the Government food police.

Plainclothed traffic wardens in unmarked cars issuing parking fines
London council continues using covert tactics despite the Parking and Traffic Appeals service overturning the fines issued by non-uniformed officers.

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Police Farce Of The Day

On 27th August, this year, West Mercia Police announced 287 job losses (198 civilian posts and 98 officer roles) in an effort to save £10 million from their budget.

Today, 17 days later, West Mercia Police announced the go ahead of a new gatehouse and driveway for their Hindlip Headquaters, at a cost of £3 million pounds, in an effort to "raise more money" in the long term.

Excuse me but how the fucking fucketty fuck does all that work then?

Surely their priority is to 'police' the West Mercia region .... with police officers ..... not fucking driveways and gatehouses! Whatever the fuck next? More police officer job losses in favour of a big  conservatory, out back?

And another thing ... I see Mark 'the maniac' Andrews is still walking the streets after being jailed for attacking a member of the public. Yep, he's been released on bail, pending his appeal. Obviously not considered a danger to the public then.

Give me fucking strength!

+++ Mark Andrews Jailed For 6 Months +++ UPDATED +++

As a result of this appallingly brutal and cowardly attack.

 6 fucking months! Is that all. He'll be out in 3.
And Wiltshire Police still haven't sacked him.

His laywer, Jeremy Barton, has already submitted appeal papers.
What. The. Fuck.

Sky News report here

More Police Farce Twattery

Rather appallingly, following hot on the heels of this bollocks, we appear to have yet another incident which is rapidly hurling us into a 'real life imitating art' scenario .... as far as copper knob twattery is concerned.

Yep! Real life Hot Fuzz appears to be alive and kicking on the streets of Britain.

Watch in dis-fucking-belief as Sgt Mark Andrews goes totally fucking insane in an attempt to escort Pamela Somerville to the custody suite .....

So, what the fuck did this thug do to deserve such an energetic 'free' facelift and body tuck from Sgt Shitwipe? Murder, rape (with a strap-a-dick-to-me), steal the crown jewels, a spot of kiddy fiddling perhaps?

Nope.

The 59 year old woman fell asleep in the back of her car.

I'm Speechless

No.

I really fucking am.

You're Nicked!

Albeit very, very slowly.

Lincolnshire police farce has unveiled its latest weapon in the fight against crime. They've even fitted it with a flashing blue light, just in case of a high speed chase.

Is it just me or has the whole world gone fucking mad.

Speed Cameras +++ Updated +++

Road safety protestors have been thrown into an apoplectic rage by news that, across the country, speed cameras are to be de-activated as a cost cutting exercise writes Gildas Clarkson-Monk, our motoring correspondent.

“Road Safety GB”, a national road safety organisation that represents local government road safety terms across the UK, has criticised the decision as has top traffic cop Chief Cunstable of Gwent Mick Giannasi. It comes as the government cuts £38 million pounds off its road safety budget. 

“It will be the end of western civilisation as we know it,” said Giannasi. “Where will we be in this country if bossy little cunts like us aren’t able to watch your every move and fine you ridiculous amounts for arbitrarily imposed offences. Dear Christ, we might even use some of the money, ACPO makes for charging up to £70 a shot, for a quick perusal of the Police National Computer which actually costs us 60 pence instead. Children will starve, the land will be wasted and dead goats will spew from the very mouth of Satan”.

Meanwhile Norman Sensible, spokesman for the National League for Responsible Driving, said a more balanced approach should be taken. “There are always pros and cons,” said Mr Sensible “but in this case Giannasi is talking out of his arse, it's total shite. Good riddance to the tax raising, greed camera racket, perhaps we can just drive sensibly instead. Then I suggest that we burn the rest of the bastard things, rip 'em out of the fucking ground with a JCB and tip the fuckers through the window of the nearest cop shop.”

Additional reporting by Ayrton Senna.

+++ UPDATE +++

Following a request in the comments, here's my effort at an Apache helicopter cracking off a few rounds at the speed camera .......

Search For Raoul Moat Called Off +Update+ Raoul Moat Speaks ++Breaking++

The acting Chief Constable of Northumbria police, Sue Simm, has anounced in the last hour that she has called off the search for Raoul Moat. Speaking to a hastily convened press conference she said "I have decided that enough is enough, we are no closer to finding Mr Moat than we were 7 days ago. I believe Mr Moat should now be declared the winner of the Northumbria Annual Hide and Seek Contest."

Commenting on why the police had put up such a bad show in this years contest she said "We got off to a bad start, the rules state that we had to turn our backs and count to 1000 while Mr Moat went to hide. It was only when we had counted to 158 that we realised that there was nobody in our force who cold count to 1000. It then took us 2 days to locate an officer with the requisite skills and arrange his secondment from a southern force."

Asked to comment on allegations made by Mr. Moat that the Northumbria force had cheated by bringing in thousands of officers from other forces, as well as the army, she said "I find Mr Moat's allegations of cheating to be very offensive. I think that it is Mr. Moat who is the cheat. You should remember that he didn't just hide and wait for us to find him. On the contrary he kept changing hiding places which isn't against the rules, as such, but shows a less than sporting attitude."

Acting Chief Constable of Northumbria Police, Sue Simm

After the press conference the senior officers of the Northumbria force were challenged, by your correspondent, to find their own arses with both hands, for a reward of £20. Ms. Simm came closest but only managed to locate one buttock before breaking down in tears when a passerby commented that her arse looked big in her uniform.

via our crime correspondent, Mr D. Rex. 

+++ UPDATE +++

+++ Breaking news from Reuters +++ (Possibly)

"Fugitive" Raoul Moat gave his views on the Northumberland Police at a packed news conference this morning. Addressing the media throng outside the Dog and Flack Jacket, Rothbury, Moat said he had been "disgusted" by the way the police had behaved.

"Look canny lad," he said "I've got a lot of issues, like, me y'know. It's not easy being a Geordie called Raoul, cos everyone thinks I'm a softy southern shite with a name like that, like, so its no fucking wonder I'm a bloody psycho. It was alright for the Boy Called Sue bloke and they even wrote a fuckin' song about him, like."

Mr Moat continued

"Anyway, like, I've been trying to do this Death by Cop Thing for nearly a bloody week now, but the police won't pay me no attention. I keep ringing them up to tell them were I am, but they won't fuckin' answer. Some one told me the switchboard is run by them Community Service Officers but they aren't allowed to answer the phone in case they get brain cancer!"


"I've signed in, in me own name at the pub, like, but no one's been there. Apparantly they're all having a health and safety course over at Gateshead. I told one bobby where I was, like, but he said that he couldn't do anything because there was no risk assessment protocol and anyway ACPO hadn't issued a position statement or made any money out of me yet."

"I've been waivin' and shoutin' at 'em like, but they just put their blue lights on and fuck off the other way sharpish! I tell you boys, it's fuckin' crap, like, this is. I blame that fucking woman off the Vicar O' Dibley, she's a fuckin' lunatic man! She shouldn't be Chief Constable of fuckin' Trumpton"

Meanwhile in other developments, Acting Chief Constable of Northumberland issued a further statement. Speaking from the Pampas Grass which surrounds her home, Sim confirmed that in an unfortunate accident a woman had been shot in the head in Gateshead. It appears that the officers panicked when they heard a rumour that the woman "had a Brazilian".

Sim also confirmed that her force had enlisted the services of a B52 bomber, Andy McNab, the 4th Russian Tank Division and Paul the Psychic Octopus. "We are especially pleased that Paul the Psychic Octopus has joined us" said Sim "We now believe this investigation has legs".

via our Home Office Correspondent, Mr Gildas (aka The Monk)

Acting Chief Constable of Northumbria Police, Sue Sim

BBC News Quiz No.71

Can you spot the difference between the first police statements, with regard to the description of the perps, and the one issued by DC Tara Powell?

Same sort of idea as last time.

click image to enlarge

My thanks go to Joe Public for spotting it

Run That By Me Again . . .

Rapists, murderers and paedophiles.

Do your worst.

The Police have far more important things to do.