Sunday, 7 November 2010

Piss Boilers! Is There An App For That?

Each human produces 2 tonnes of CO2 annually just by eating and defecating, Spanish scientists determine. Fear not though ... an eco fucknut has the answer.

Army cadets have been left ‘bitterly disappointed’ after being banned from carrying rifles on a Remembrance Day parade, following complaints from 'the public'.

Children who haven't had the MMR jab should be banned from schools, according to Dr Sohail Bhatti, a director of one of the largest health trusts in Britain.

OFSTED praises Muslim schools for their contribution to 'community cohesion', even in the case of a school which openly states that Muslims “oppose the lifestyle of the West”. Akram Khan-Cheema, an OFSTED inspector, is also chief executive of a radical Muslim educational foundation, the IBERR.

Do you post stuff on your blog or Facebook or Twitter late at night, when you're absolutely pissed and then regret it the next day? (Gotty: "Nope! Never regret it.")
Well ... there's a fucking app for that!
Oh, for fuck's sake, it could only happen in America ....



microdave said...

What fucking good is a drink test when I'm perfectly capable of making a twat of myself when sober???

Akram Khan-Cheema, being a good Muslim (is there such a thing?) obviously falls into this category...

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Talking of apps. I want a tazer app for my phone. Phuck me, that would be fun.


"Hello. This is Killem. Speak or fuck off"

"Hi! The Halifax and NatWest are proud to announce........"


I'd fuckin love it!!

Sue (Muff V) said...

The first compensation payment of 90,000 quid has just been paid out for damage done by the MMR to an 18 year old when he was a baby.

Seems to me that the govt is admitting that the MMR has caused brain damage after all... so it's really quite fu*king cruel of them to insist that all children are vaccinated.

Captain Haddock said...

As for that gutless, nutless, bottle-less arsewipe in the Army Cadets .. there's a technical term for those of his ilk ..

Its "Walt" (as in Mitty) ..

Why stay at home & bollock your own kids .. when you can get a nice uniform, a pretend rank & a mega-stiffy from bollocking other people's kids ?

Let's thank our lucky stars that the fallen, whom we remember didn't just roll over in the face of some stupid "touchy-feely" notion ..

They were real Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen & Marines ... this cunt is a fucking disgrace to their memory ...

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>What fucking good is a drink test when I'm perfectly capable of making a twat of myself when sober?" < same here, makes no difference whether I'm drunk or sober. Next thing you know they'll be making an app to check you're not too drunk to set the parameters on the Sobriety Test app. Oh, FFS where is all this going to end?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>I want a tazer app for my phone" < fuck yeah! so do I ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

It's outrageous! Forcing children to have a vaccine that they know has a probability of causing more harm than if they didn't have it. And what about 'them' lumping the bird flu virus in with the flu jab, for the elderly. Just so they can 'use up' the vastly over-ordered stocks of the vaccine. FFS!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>gutless, nutless, bottle-less arsewipe" < fair description I would say ;)

Norman Spack M.D. said...


"Dr Bhatti said he was negotiating a change in school admission policies with Lancashire County Council"

And this

“We are negotiating to create a fail-safe service where health visitors will go out and knock on people's doors to ensure the children are vaccinated"

Let's hope Dr Bhatti has deep pockets if anything happens on his totalitarian watch.

microdave said...

<span>“We are negotiating to create a fail-safe service where health visitors will go out and knock on people's doors to ensure the children are vaccinated" </span>

Do you remember a few months back when a lady in Switzerland (I think) was trying to convince us of a mega conspiracy to force the entire population to take a vaccine which had been "doctored"?? It was around the time of the so called Swine Flu outbreak. Can't remember her name - but she was in the process of filing court cases against several pharmaceutical companies.

Caratacus said...

Fuckin A Captain.

Caratacus said...

killem - be careful what you wish for...

banned said...

"<span>Just stop eating and all our problems are solved.</span>" Save The planet, Kill yourself, cunt.<span>It glamorises weapons and might upset onlookers.</span> Prick obviously fails to notice that Labour are no longer in power, good candidate for cutbacks.

"Children who haven't had the MMR jab should be banned from schools" If the vaccine is so fucking good in what way are unvaccinated children supposed to be a health threat to those who have it eh "Dr"  Sohail  :-$  Bhatti ?

"OFSTED praises Muslim schools" It is difficult to criticize Moslem schools while allowing CofE and Jewish ones which I am in favour of since they tend to be the best.

"Do you post stuff on your blog or Facebook or Twitte" No, never.

Captain Haddock said...

Dr Bhatti .. fucking well named if you ask me ...

Dan H. said...

About the only one of those with any basis in fact is the MMR one. See, this one isn't about authorities overstepping the mark and turning all authoritarian on us; this actually has basis in fact and furthermore the argument of combined vaccine versus single vaccines has also been tested.

Measles is spread by respiratory infection, and is highly infectious. The direct mortality rate is about 5 per 1000, with a further number disabled for life. This is entirely avoidable by immunisation.

Rubella causes damage to unborn children if infection occurs in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy; this damage is not repairable and includes deafness, blindness and heart problems.

Mumps is fairly mild; it only causes infertility in adult males and not much else.

However, all of these can be prevented if the number of people in the population who are susceptible to the viruses is kept below about 5%; the herd immunity will prevent outbreaks of the viruses spreading to any great degree. Applying strong disincentives to opting out of the immunisation programme is thus a highly worthwhile thing to do, since even if a person has been immunised against the diseases, they occasionally won't develop full immunity, so you need virtually 100% vaccination to guarantee herd immunity.

The argument that the combined vaccine is harmful and that the single vaccines ought to be offered instead is bogus, provably so. Back in the 1940s, another unrelated triple vaccine was withdrawn on safety grounds to be replaced with single vaccines. This caused the uptake of the single vaccines to drop markedly, which resulted in several hundred "extra" deaths from unvaccinated children which would not have occurred had the triple vaccine still been in use.

The reason for this is simple. Children are very good at learning, especially where pain is involved. Triple vaccines involve two visits to the doc per vaccine delivered; an initial and a booster. First time round, the kid is a bit uncertain, second time round they don't much like the visit but go along with it. If however you have to make six trips for vaccines, by trip number four the kid will be screaming the place down out of all proportion to the vaccination pain. Faced with that, many mothers gave up and reckoned "Everyone else will be vaccinated, doesn't matter if the kid misses one or two".

Well, it does matter, it matters a lot, and it isn't always going to be the unvaccinated kid born of stupid parents which snuffs it from their stupidity; could be an entirely unrelated kid which didn't respond to the MMR. Herd immunity is important!