Thank Fuck It's Friday [Part 4]

The BP oil spill fuckathon advert is my fucking advert of the fucking week. The best fucking advert I've fucking seen in a fucking long fucking time, just because the fuckers in the fucking video use fucks like they're going out of fucking fashion.

Fucking well brilliant!

PS. Any fucker out there have the fucking resources to help me make a fucking advert like this fucker based on fucked up Broken Britain? Now that fucking fucker would be a fucking good fucker of a video!

Always Happy To Help Another Blogger

"Make me feel ashamed. Make me feel humiliated. It's the only option!"

Oh .... ok then ..... if you insist.

Click image to enlarge,

especially if you want to read the Twitter updates ;-)

The Camera Never Lies

23rd July,  BBC News reports:

Two Muslim women have claimed they were refused a bus ride because one had her face covered by a veil. They said that when they presented their tickets, the driver told them they were a "threat" to passengers and ordered them off the bus. The firm has started an "urgent" investigation because The Muslim Council of Britain said it was "deeply concerned".

(oh, and the report also includes a handy BBC graphic showing the 7 different types of Islamic female garb. How fucking considerate of them)

 

Anyhow, elsewhere in the real world, it appears that the actual chain of events is more than a little different to the BBC version ....

Yesterday, London Evening Standard reports:

A bus driver accused by two students of banning them because of their Islamic dress has been cleared after CCTV showed he had actually barred them for their abusive behaviour.

On-board CCTV of the incident, showed the women banging on the front doors and attempting to board the bus when it had come to the end of its run. They then get on through the rear doors and begin arguing with the driver. They get off and wait for the bus to start its journey back to Paddington - but another exchange follows, and the driver refuses to set off unless they disembark.

Well, just fancy that, no fucking trace of that version of events to be found anywhere on the BBC News website and no mention of the outcome of the investigation either.

Yet more proof, if any were needed, that the BBC have their own agenda and if the truth gets in the way of that, then ....... just lie.

NHS Spunks £7500 On High Tech Porn

Liverpool Women's NHS Foundation Trust have decided to fuck off the traditional jizz mags and spunk up £7,500 on a 'punishing percy in the palm' porn room. Yup, they've gone all high tech in an effort to give willing wankers a hand to deliver vital supplies of man juice.

Seems like a fairly stiff expense to me when these days all you really need is a half decent internet connection, dontcha think.

Have a read of the comments here, they're fucking priceless!*

Whoa! Hang on a fucking minute, things are looking up. It appears that a certain NHS staff member is more than happy to provide the real thing .... especially if you're dying for a shag ;-)

 

*Original story spotted by our Health and Well-Being Correspondent, MircoDave.
  (No. Don't ask)

Turkey Basting Bastard!

What he said and what he said too.....

..... by the fucking bucket load!

You Tube Video Of The Week

Take that you Muzzie cunt ......

Cross posted from my good friends here
and if you have a couple of minutes to spare go to the main
YouTube site and read the video description here.

Bring it fucking on!

2012 Olympics Quote Of The Day

"When the party is over, the canoe courses, the velodrome and numerous other purpose built structures will slowly fall into decay or be converted to halal abbatoirs or Madrasses to cater for "local needs".

What a bag of shite."

Old Holborn

London 2012 Olympics

Deja Fucking Vu

April 1992

“The National Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS) is a United Kingdom policing agency set up as a separate body to centralize the gathering and distribution of intelligence on serious and organized criminal matters. The media have heralded the creation of NCIS as being similar to the FBI. NCIS will be formed out of the National Drugs Intelligence Unit in the Home Office. NCIS will concentrate on drugs, financial crime, immigration, firearms and organized crime.

April 1998

“The National Crime Squad (NCS) is to be a police organisation which will deal mainly with organised and major crimes. Formed from the amalgamation of six former Regional Crime Squads, the NCS will report directly to the Home Office and will have nationwide and international jurisdiction.

It will primarily deal with organised crime, major drug trafficking, illegal arms dealing, human trafficking, computer and high-tech crime, money counterfeiting and laundering, extortion, kidnapping and murder relating to any of the above. Lastly, it will augment and support regional forces throughout the United Kingdom.

The unit has been likened to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)”.

September 2005

“The Home Office is setting up the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) to tackle high level criminality in an “efficient and ruthless” manner. Due to be operational from 2006, the SOCA represents the biggest shake-up of our national policing structure since 1992.

Swiftly dubbed the British version of the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) by the media, the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) brings together the responsibilities once shared by the National Criminal Intelligence Service (NCIS) and the National Crime Squad (NCS), while also taking on organised crime investigations previously handled by the immigration service and Her Majesty’s Customs and Excise”.

July 2010

“Plans for a massive shake-up in policing in England and Wales are set to be outlined by the home secretary. A new national crime-fighting agency, likely to be dubbed Britain’s FBI, is among Theresa May’s proposals. The Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) is expected to be scrapped just four years after it was set up by Labour. SOCA will be replaced by the National Crime Agency (NCA), which will include a new border police unit, the child exploitation and online protection centre (CEOP) and parts of the National Policing Improvement Agency.

* sigh *

Now, I'm not one to fucking well Labour a point but the Cleggeron Coalition certainly seem to be. Not to mention the little matter of £15 million quid of tax payers' cash for that shiny new logo, eh.

Just saying.

Info unashamedly nicked from Inspector Gadget, the man in the know ;-)

Deport This Disgraceful Fuck Nut Now

Question: Are you seriously suggesting that everybody on those tube trains and on that bus in London, on July 7th, was in some way a legitimate target?

Three years after answering that question the respondent is still living in the UK, at the expense of the UK tax payers'. Now, if watching the Sharia Law supporting, violence inciting arsewipe converting a 10 year old British boy to Islam on the streets of the UK is your thing, then I guess that's OK then ......

Anjem Choudary:

"Islam does not mean peace. Islam means submission."

Hey! Cleggeron! Know thine enemy!
New Labour didn't, in fact they befriended all this shit.
So what the fuck are YOU going to do about it then.

It's rhetorical.

Lost Screen Tests

Samuel L. Jackson auditions for a part in Titanic .....

Or how about Paris Hilton, trying out for the lead role in 'The Queen' ....

Also heard a rumour that Roy Chubby Brown will be auditioning for the much anticipated biopic, 'Gordon Brown : Prime Mentalist'

Gordon Brown : Out Of Africa

So the last we heard, Gordon Brown was going to become a hard working back bench MP and devote his time and energy to the needs of his constituents in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath. So what better way to do this that than give your first major speech, since resigning as prime mentalist, from a village in Africa. For fuck's sake .... how much fucking further away, from the place where we are all STILL paying the free loader to work, can you fucking well get!

Never mind, he insists that he's "very cheerful as a back bench MP" (has anyone actually seen the jock cunt sitting in the Chamber yet?) and he came to terms with losing the election "very quickly" (is that fucking right?). The deluded mono eyed, pant pissing, nokia chucker then went on to say " You accept it and then move on and say look, there are other things you can do to make a difference". (like what, you useless lardy arsed, bollock tickler?)

I'm sure we can think of few ideas though, eh......

Anyhow, thanks to Sarah Brown and her TwatPic account, I've snaffled a couple of images showing Gordon moving among the voters in his constituency villagers in the back of beyond:

... but what the fuck are they reading?

.... but what's the poor little girl thinking?

On an even more depressing note I hear that we can expect the fuckwit, who is responsible for creating Britain's biggest ever debt mountain, to be easing himself into a top job with the International Monetary Fund .... any time soon. (didn't realise the IMF HQ was in Kircaldy)

And I ain't fucking joking!

Incidentally, if you'd like to tell the deluded twat what you think about all this then why not drop him a line here. I'm sure he'd love to read what you have to say, just as soon as he gets back from Westminster Kampala.

The Brokeback Coalition

David Davis has been overheard by reporters repeating a description of the partnership between David Cameron and Nick Clegg as "The Brokeback Coalition", a phrase which he attributed to Lord Ashcroft.

Rather entertainingly, I thought I would remind you that, Davis is the much heralded hero and ex boss of conservative blogger Iain Dale. Oh, the irony of it all. Standby for the inevitable fat poof hissy fit, anytime soon ......