Friday 18 June 2010

Benson and Hedges Launch The Cigarette

Hailed as the best hope yet of helping people overcome their addiction to nicotine, Benson and Hedges have announced the launch of their innovative new ‘cigarette’. It's a handy device which, when used with a naked flame, is set to replace those fiddly nicotine patches, foul tasting nicotine gum and those fucking ridiculous rechargeable plastic tubes that you can use on trains and planes and shit.

Clinical trials of the cigarette have produced amazing results.
"Unlike patches, I can dangle it casually from my mouth whilst operating a power tool," said Jez Stevens of Portsmouth, "I look and feel sexy and I now have something to do with my hands when talking to people, other than absent-mindedly fiddling with me bollocks."



The ‘cigarette’ is now available under the counter in most chemists.
Just ask your pharmacist.


From on an article found here

Wikio

13 comments:

Ampers said...

Not for me, my bollocks are always itching, it won't help.

Captain Haddock said...

Nice one Gotty .... Ferk 'em ...  8-) :-D :-D

Billy Blofeld said...

A Swedish friend introduced me to the tobacco they pouch under their top lip (Snus) the other day.

An advantage of the cigarette over the tobacco pouching Snu user, I discovered, is that you don't sound like you said at a crowded bar "and the penis are fabulous" when if you had been smoking cigarette you would have been heard to have clearly said "and the peanuts are fabulous".

http://www.swedish-snus.com/

Dick Puddlecote said...

I really must try one. ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

A slight case of 'overshare' there, I reckon ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Is that the righteous fuckwits or the lovely laydees that smoke au naturelle?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

That 'made oi larrf'!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Ist that one of those new fangled cigarettes or the lovely smoking laydee?

Captain Haddock said...

Both actually .. the later in the usual way .. the former with the rough, paraffin soaked & lighted end of a Pineapple ..  >:o :-D :-D

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Good answer!

fidothedog said...

Fucking ace mate, damn near pissed myself. Shall be back on line in the net few months, but what with moving and other such bollocks time is at a premium at the moment,

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Hey Fido, great to see you're still about. Could have done with your help with this twat recently!

Hope all goes well and ooking forward to seeing you back on your blog soon ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

'looking' even (doh!)