More Head Fucks for Golliwog Haters

A few more rediscovered gems in my kids' reading library. Apologies to Roger Hargreaves, of course, but none whatsoever to all those narrow minded Righteous bastards who are in dire need of a damn good rogering, to sort out their fucked up little brains.

Here, have one on me you wankers.

A head fuck that is!

I'd like to see Mr Licence Fee Waster at the British Broadcasting Cunteration give these an airing on Listen With Mother Fucking Mother!

Still plenty more where this came from, you golliwog hating bunch of over sensitive, Nanny state PC twats!

That is still NOT all!

**UPDATE**

Many thanks to Fido for mentioning this Ladybird book post of his, in the comments.  It's fucking hilarious and definitely Nanny haemorrage material!

Enid Blyton Gives PC Twats a Head Fuck

Fucking snow everywhere. Great, love it!

So, seeing as I can't go to work today (customer lives up in the hills 12 miles away so can't even walk there) I thought I'd hit the Nostalgia trail again and rediscover some of my kids' classic old story books.

These should get those Righteous PC twats tiny little brains haemorraging like fuck, with any luck!

Oh, and here's a nice little quote from Enid's 'Three Little Golliwogs' which, incidentally, is still available to buy here. 

"Once the three bold Golliwogs, Golly, Woggie and Nigger, decided to go for a walk to Bumble-Bee Common. Golly wasn't quite ready so Woggie and Nigger said they would start off without him, and Golly would catch them up as soon as he could. So off went Woggie and Nigger, arm-in-arm, singing merrily their favourite song - which, as you may guess, was Ten Little Nigger Boys."

I doubt whether those pricks at the British Broadcasting Cunteration will be reading this out on Jacka-fucking-nory though!

Plenty more where this came from, you golliwog hating bunch of over fucking sensitive, Nanny state PC twats!

That is NOT all!

Now It's Cricket That's Been Hit For Six

The barking mad Muslims, are at it again and have rudely interrupted my Nostalgic Nirvana.

Therefore, today I am a FAGOT and not a GONT.

That over sensitive minority of fucking cretins have found something else in their handbook of "How To Fuck Britain Up The Arse", to enable them to pour even more fuel on the 'political correctness has gone fucking mad' bonfire.

And this time it's cricket.

It's just not cricket!!

The winners of last years Twenty20 Cup, the Middlesex Crusaders, have been forced to change their name after "one or two" angry complaints from Muslim communities.

Apparently this tiny minority are concerned that the name 'Crusader' is a direct reference to the medieval Christian crusades which saw military wars waged against other faiths.

Whhaaaaat!

It's just a name of a world renowned cricket team, you twats, they just play cricket. They have been called the Crusaders for over ten years. It's just an innocent nickname, nothing more nothing less. What's your fucking problem?

It's getting beyond a joke when these 'touchy twats' want to start fucking around with the names of our cricket teams.

Well I, for one, will not be calling Middlesex Crusaders by their new name of Panthers.

Piss, shit, fuck, wank, bollocks to all you dirty bearded, trouble making, bunch of fuckwits.

Leave my/our beloved game alone and go and wash your dirty fucking face fungus in the nearest acid bath.

Twats!

At Least I Admit To Wetting Myself Gordon

My thanks go to It's Either Banned or Compulsory for this alternative version of the Smash advert. Nice one!

I'd never seen this clip before and laughed like a fucking laughing fucker, who couldn't stop fucking laughing, when I watched it. Which was good because I had a shit day today and it was just the tonic I needed. In fact I pissed myself laughing!

Derek and Clive.

Fucking brilliant, they were. Proper fucking alternative comedy from the 70's, years before all those other fuckers gave it a try.

God bless them both.

We Are Clearly Most Primitive

The Smash adverts are still absolute fucking classics and can still make me laugh like a fucking ninny, even today!

Don't know about anyone else but I just can't bear to watch I.T.fucking V. anymore. Haven't watched it for years. The fucking adverts drive me mad. They're all crap and there's just far too many of them.

Back 'in the day' though they were brilliant. They were often clever, entertaining and most of all they could be 'pant wettingly' funny. Literally sometimes.

Ok, so there where some dreadful ones too like 'Shake 'n' Vac' but we can still all recall it though can't we? I can remember my mother using the stuff.  Wiggling and jiggling around the house like some demented fucker with rickets. She even had the same fucking Hoover as the stupid bint in the advert, probably still got it now. Tightarse!

Anyhow the 'stuff' looked like fucking talc powder if you ask me. In fact, one time, I caught my baby brother trying to shove some between the cheeks of his arse in an attempt to soothe some 'plastic pant rash' or other.

Didn't work of course. He just bawled his fucking head off until 'mummy' gave him a pink wafer.

Had to laugh though, next time he farted a little puffy white cloud appeared from under his corduroy shorts and sprinkled onto his brown Startrite sandals!

"Great cars and a great deal more"

British Leyland cars, wow, they were the dogs bollocks in those days. I adored the Dolomite Sprint and always aspired to having one. Alas, I never managed it but a friend of mine did have one when we were about 18, cream with a black vinyl roof it was. Jammy bastard! What a fanny magnet that thing was come Friday night. A right pair of 'Jack the lads' we were. Always on the look out for a couple of 'Jill the girls'!

And what about Kia-Ora.

Another classic advert of the time but fuck me though, a stereotypical black kid singing?

Christ, Nanny would probably have a stroke if that aired today, coupled with violent anti racist protests too, I shouldn't wonder.

"I'll be your dog."

Good times!

We're All Crazy Now

"I don't want to drink my whiskey but still do . . . 

. . .  but we're all crazy now!"

Sorry about Tony Blackburn's appearance at the beginning of the clip. Never did like that smarmy, fucking twat. And Tessa Wyatt, what the fuck was that all about?

Slade had huge album and single chart success between 1971 and 1975. Their biggest hit 'Merry Christmas Everybody' reached No1 at Christmas in 1973. It was preceded by Little Jimmy Osmond (hateful little shit) with 'Long Haired Lover from Liverpool' (even fucking shittier) and succeeded by Mud with 'Lonely This Christmas', which was then succeeded by the seminal Bohemian Rhapsody.

Good times!

Nice one Noddy and by the way, we are STILL all fucking crazy now.

I'm off to 'the flicks' shortly to see Where Eagles Dare (really looking forward to the cable car fight) and I'll be treating Pigsy to a Kia-Ora, a packet of Opal Fruits and some Bourneville chocolate, flash bastard, but I fucking doubt whether you can get these delectable items anymore.

If I should happen to get to 'first base', before the interval, I'm really going to push the boat out and present her with a Walls vanilla ice cream block placed between two wafers. I'll probably just have a 'tub' and eat it with a small wooden spoon.

The interval.

Do you remember when they used to have those?

Queuing for the lady with the ice cream tray hanging around her neck and taking the opportunity to see who else was sitting in the back row. Oh, and what about those good old Pearl & Dean adverts and there was always a short supporting film before you watched the 'big flick'. What the fuck has happened to all of that then? 

"Broad Sword calling Danny Boy . . . ."

Happy Days.

Sigh. . . . 

Pour Yourself a Scotch and Tell Your Bird To Shut It

The fucking Sweeney are back on the streets!

Oh how I wish that WERE true.

The music, the motors, the political incorrectness. I never missed an episode, it was always the highlight of my week and something to really look forward to in the next.

Occasionally you can still find repeats of this classic series being pumped out on one of those 'tucked away' digital channels.

Oh what joy!

"Look slag I don't give a toss who you have in your bed . . . "

Fucking bring it on!

The Sweeney ran for 4 years in the 70's.

53 episodes were made in total and these went on to be shown in 51 countries and it is still regarded, by many, as the most successful police series ever made for British TV.

"We're The Sweeney and we haven't had any dinner, you're nicked!"

Brilliant!