Sunday, 11 July 2010

TV Guide For The Week Ahead

Deal Or No Deal? (Channel 4, 5.00 pm)
Negotiation based game show. Guests Willie Walsh and Tony Woodley battle it out for control of an airline. Entertaining, but one sided.

Play Your Cards Right! (ITV 3, 7.00 pm). New statistics based game show. With Michael Gove. Nerve wracking watching.

Who Do You Think You Are? (BBC1, 9.00 pm). Biography. Bob Ainsworth discovers that he really was the useless ineffectual twat we thought he was all along. Predictable.

Cash In The Attic (BBC1 12.00 pm). Reality. Jacqui Smith raises money by selling her partner’s dodgy porn, but makes a real killing by claiming her sister’s attic is her main private residence. Watchable, but possibly illegal.

Scrapheap Challenge (Channel 4, 5.25 pm). Documentary. Geoff Hoone and Patricia Hewitt ask if there is life after long careers of being parasitic wastes of space and burdens on the public purse. The answer is: No. Uplifting.

Hotter Than My Daughter (BBC 3, 8.30 pm). Reality. Margaret Becket has set her sights on a Milliband and Ruth Kelly head heads for Aye Napa in search of a Jesuit toyboy. Disturbing.

Desperate Housewives (Channel 4, 10.00 pm). Comedy drama. Dilemmas this week as Harriet’s husband Jack wants to be an MP but the safe seat has an all female shortlist, and Diane wants to send her kid private because but the government has fucked the state schools. Will they compromise their principles? Of course they fucking will. Awful.

Celebrity Fat Club (ITV1, 7.30 pm). Reality. Things do not go according to plan as a hungry Diane Abbot roasts and eats fitness instructor, ex US Marine Harvey, but then she herself gets grilled by Andrew Neil. Entertaining but painful to watch.

CSI: Rothbury (Channel 5, 10.00 pm). Long running police drama. This week the police are accused of incompetence. Again. With special guest stars that woman from the Vicar of Dibley and Paul Gascoigne. Mostly hilarious, but the ending is predictable.

Relocation, Relocation (Channel 4, 8.00 pm). Reality. Hazel Blears and Alistair Darling on how to “move” your “main private residence” without actually “moving” at all! With about 200 guest stars. Thought provoking.

My Name Is (Now) Earl (Sky Biography, various). Interview. The life and times of Lord Prescunt of Pies and his thoughts on selling out and being a first class hypocritical pie eating tosser. With Andrew Marr. Unintelligible, but at the same time infuriating.

Friends (Channel 4, various). Sitcom. Ed, David, Ed and Andy are having a private party, but when Diane arrives uninvited, chaos ensues. Mildly amusing and irritating by degrees.

Flog it! (BBC 1 5.05 pm). Reality. George Osborne attempts to plug the black hole in public finances by selling off Wales, and fails, because nobody wants it. Dispiriting.

Wheel of Fortune (ITV Gold, various). Gameshow. Nicky Campbell shows you how to become a Euro MP and an overnight millionaire in return for doing fuck all. Exasperating.

The Mentalist (Five, Saturday, 10.00 pm).
Psychologists look into the mind of Gordon Brown and speculate. Disturbing.

via our TV, showbiz and entertainment guru, Gildas Monk

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Catosays said...

You have a perverted sense of humour it!

Captain Haddock said...

I'll tell you what's on my TV Gotty ...

The same as there was last week & the same as there'll be next week ... Dust, cos the thing never gets used ...  :-D

Gildas said...

Thanks Gotty
You've done that proud!
Gildas the Monk 8-)

Joe Public said...

Who's been a busy boy then?

You did however omit the Saturday favourite "Match of the Day - Special" 

Nick, having failed to win the election, has to choose who to allow to lead the country with him. Will it be Determined David or Grotesque Gordon?

microdave said...

"Psychologists look into the mind of Gordon Brown"  - WTF do they expect to find???

sadbutmadlad said...

Don't know if this is disturbing or absolutly brilliant. :)

Captain Haddock said...

In fact, my Telly gets more time off than Clint Eastwood's safety-catch ...  ;)

Gildas said...

Well said Sadbutmadlad
Hopefully, both! :-E
Gildas the Monk :)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Absolutely Cato and so does Gildas, by the looks of things, which is why he's so suited to the world of gottishness ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Fuck all on the TV here either Cap'n, except the cricket of course. Hmmm, yes, I do like my cricket ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

You're welcome!
Anytime ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Perhaps we'll include that next time ;)
Talking of football ..... has that World Cup bollocks fucking well finished yet?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

A raving fucking lunatic minus essential bladder control .... I shouldn't wonder.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

What he said ^^^^^ ;)

Dioclese said...

Well at least it will make a change from the fucking world cup...

AnthonyS said...

Thanks for the picture of Diane Abbot's Craic.

Just chucked up last night's chicken'n'chips.

U t.wat. :wink:

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Thank fuck that load of pretentious bollocks has finished!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

The pleasure's all hers .... I believe ;)

qwerty said...

delightful - wonder if Radio Times are hiring : )

qwerty said...

might also like (think it's (TV's) Charlie Brooker's handiwork)

"So many butterflies, so many wheels..."

Gildas said...

Yes I do!