Friday, 16 July 2010

Blog Poll Awards 2010

Looks like the Blog Poll season has kicked off in earnest then. So far we appear to have the annual fat poof Right Wing Love-in Poll, the twisted Lefty socio-militant Worst UK Political Blog Poll and the seemingly pointless Biggest Liars in British Blogging Poll from Buggerheads. I mean, aren't we all a little economical with the truth, from time to time.

I have decided there is a gap in the market.


There's shit loads of the fuckwitterers, out there in blogosphere land. Left wing, right wing, Libertarian, Coalition, Tofu eaters, MSM journos, MP's, MEP's, BNP, UAF, Commies, tree huggers, warmists, Muslim fanatics, tin foil hat wearers, deluded dickwads, etc., etc., ... the list is endless.
There's a twat in every in every port!

Click here to vote in the Blog Twats Poll 2010

So here is your chance to vote for who you consider to be the biggest twat in the British blogosphere, bar fucking none.

I like simple rules, so here they are:

1. Vote for as few blogging twats as you want up to a maximum of ten.
2. Twattish twittering micro blogging twats are also allowed
3. Votes must be ranked in order of twattishness. Worst first.
4.Votes can be left in the comments here, for all to see, or, if you prefer, you can use this dedicated  email address :
5. No Anonymongs, no repeats. Poll closes midnight Friday 6th August 2010.

If you have your own blog and want to encourage your readers to nominate a few Blog Twats, so much the better. Here's the HTML code you need to add the above graphic to your posts or sidebars which will automatically send them to this instruction page, when clicked ....

<a href=""><img src="" style="border: 0;" alt="Click here to vote in the Blog Twats Poll 2010" /></a>

If you want to tell your readers who you voted for, that's fine, I couldn't give a shit. It's still a free country and you're entitled to share your opinion with anyone that'll listen.

The results will not be appearing in any magazine or book and will not be announced during a newspaper  review on Sky News or some backwater Radio station or other.

The Top 20 Twats of British Blogging will be published here sometime after the Poll closes and when I'm good and fucking ready. So .... spread the word and get voting but, above all else, have fun.

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RantinRab said...


I like very much.  Unless I'm voted for, of course!

AnthonyS said...

"I have decided there is a gap in the market.


Was going to suggest

... but some twat has beat me to it:  8-)

AnthonyS said...

Speaking of twats...

Do you still have a link to the Lord Of The Chocolate Rings Mandelson piss take, (you did last year was it?), G.O.T.?

Could do with a laugh. Thanks.

The Grim Reaper said...

One gets the impression from reading Dunderheads, sorry I mean Bloggerheads, that its author, Saint Timothy of Ireland has never told a lie or an untruth in his life. I take it he would pursue himself as aggressively as he does to everyone else whenever they tell something that isn't the full truth. I bet he wouldn't. No wonder he gets called Lassie by Dizzy. Australia can have him back, the miserable little cunt.

He's definitely the biggest twat on the blogosphere today. I shall have to think about the top 10, however. There's quite a large list to whittle down.

For some reason, I feel like nominating Lassie over at ...Is A Cunt again now. Can't think why...

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I'm sure there are plenty enough twats out there before they get to you Rab ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

No worries.
Voting for any type of twat blogger (or 'Twogger') will do, just as long as they are a twat .... in your opinion ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Not sure which post you are after but everything is still here. Check out the list of 'Labels' in the right sidebar, click on the ones you want and all posts covering that label will appear.
I guess you need 'manmuncher' or 'peter mandelson' ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

That's the spirit Grim!
And I can't say I disagree with any of it ;)

Catosays said...

It's no good I can't resist it...The Fat Poof is my choice...especially as he's in Crete at the moment.

Catosays said...

PS....have the logo on my blog in accordance with your wishes O Master....pmsl

Catosays said...

Belay my last has to be Tom Harris. Twat of the millenium.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Thanks Cato, and don't panic!
You can have up to ten nominations and all you need to do is put them in order of first worst.
I'll count Harris first, Dale second then?

Oldrightie said...

Only the FP'er or a leftie qualify!"

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Everyone qualifies. You decide who. Simples.

Forget the politics, just pick any 10 twats ;)

The Grim Reaper said...

Okay, I'm back. This was bloody hard to whittle down to just ten - I've had to let go of some really monotonous, cockwaffling blogging twats to get to this stage, but here goes...

1. Bloggerheads. This has to be the most dreary, self-obsessed, boring blog on the Internet, run by... well, the most dreary, self-obsessed boring man on the Internet. Constantly boasts about the fact he's been a blogger since 2001. Has he been a twat for all that time?

2. Alastair Campbell's Blog. What a fuckwit this man is. Apart from his history of cuntishness, he can't even get a proper bloody design on his blog. A blog should look similar in format to say, this blog.
3. Liberal Conspiracy. Sunny Hundal - another dreary, self-obsessed, boring twat. For his hypocrisy and ability to write hundreds of words of drivel a minute, he was rated very highly by the Reaper's Judges. Does not make it to Number 1 on the grounds he does occasionally say something vaguely interesting.
4. Kerry McCarthy MP's blog - Shot By All Sides. The Twitter Twat, as Gotty calls her. Need I say more?
5. Guido Fawkes Blog. I really can't stand the man anymore. Ever since Guido broke the story last year about Damian McBride, he's become this utterly smug git who, frankly, has nothing to be smug about.
6. Boatang & Demetriou. Boring & Demented as they're better known in the blogosphere, they're a pair of absolute twats. I wish that troll who was on Obo's site would set up his own parody blog. Plus these two seem to have started swear-blogging now, something the likes of DK and Obo always do far better. Visitor numbers in freefall?

7. Cuntcillor Terry Kelly. See the GrumpyOldTwat blog earlier this week for my reasons on this prick.
8. Tom Harris MP's blog - And Another Thing. DK called him "a smug cunt who deserves to be beaten like a fucking pinata". Add twat onto that list.
9. Iain Dale's Diary. I used to rather like Dale when I first started reading his blog. Now he just spends half his time telling you about his next media appearance, the next big shot he's interviewing for Total Bolitics or even worse, promoting whatever book his company has just published. He really needs to get back to basics, that man. And by that, I don't mean have several affairs.
10. Ellie Gellard's Twatter feed. A prolific Twatter user and a prolific twat, evidence of which is shown is almost every Tweet she makes. Plus is supporting Ed Balls in the Labour leadership campaign. Admittedly, I am too, but because I think he'll destroy Labour forever. She doesn't think that - pillock.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I like the way you've spread your twat votes right across the political spectrum. A twat is a twat regardless of what or who they stand for.

Vladimir said...

Very well, here's my take on the twattiest UK blogs.

1. Speak You're Branes. (Off the scale twattery; all contributors to this site are badly in need of a face slap for being smug left-wing-by-default student mongtards. No, your PhD doesn't make you smart, it makes you a twat.)
2. Guido. (Cesspit.)
3. Alastair Campbell. (Obvious reasons.)
4. Liberal Conspiracy. (Every article a solid gold nugget of po-faced self-righteousness.)
5. Comment Is Free. (It's basically Liberal Conspiracy with the laughable pretension of being unbiased.)
6. Old Holborn. (A libertarian as imagined by The Daily Mail.)
7. Stephen Fry's Twitter feed. ("Socialism's all very well in practice, but does it work in theory?")
8. Nick Robinson's Newslog. (Reaching almost Stephen Fry levels of twattery.)
9. Kerry McCarthy. (Obvious reasons.)
10. The real Ron Broxted. (The fake one is ace.)

Abolish the BBC said...

Guido Fawkes, it's all a bit shit now isn't it.

Iain Dale is so far up his own arse there is no room for a cock.

The Grim Reaper said...

I'm a firm believer that anyone can be a twat, no matter what their political views. Although I certainly don't agree with this Leftish twaddle that twats are all equal.

Goodnight Vienna said...

Great fun, GoT and my first suggestion is anything with Sunny Hundal's name on it.

The Grim Reaper said...

Black or white, rich or poor, educated or not, left or right - anyone can be a twat!

David Thompson said...

<span>1) Richard Murphy
2) Richard Murphy
3) Richard Murphy
4) Richard Murphy
5) Richard Murphy
6) Richard Murphy
7) Richard Murphy
8) Richard Murphy
9) Richard Murphy
10) Richard Murphy</span>

Stolen from @AngryTeen

Mr Civil Libertarian said...

1) Tim Ireland, of Bloggerheads.
2) Guido. He gets good scoops at times, but.. he's just a twat.
3) Richard Murphy, the big government, anti free speech "libertarian"
4) Iain Dale
5) Al Jahom

Anonymous said...

1. Obnoxio the Clown

GrumpyOldTwat said...

That'll be a repeat vote but no worries ..... the top one will count ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Well, that didn't take long ...... I said NO Anonymong voters (or guest as this damned Echo would have it). Just make up a name, any name, anything to keep a Grumpy Old Twat happy, eh ;)

In the meantime, will someone else pick up that vote .... hate to see a good twat go to waste ;)

Mr Civil Libertarian said...

Alright, alright,
6) Obo.

Al Jahom said...

1) @BevaniteEllie - a cracked vuvuzela.
2) Liberal Conspiracy - turns out there ARE drugs I've never tried.
3) Tom Harris - used to be interesting. Then came opposition & reversion to hilariously un-self-aware cries of "It's not faaaaaaaaiiirrr!!".
4) Hanging Bitch ( - Comedy band-wagon jumping lefty whinger.
5) Obo The Clown - I mean, really!
6) Oleuanna - Token effort. Go Boers!
7) - Really very peculiar indeed.
8) Rantin Rab - YouTube Posting Bellend.
9) Constantly Furious. Fucking quitter.
10) Iain Dale - Gotta have a gayer in the list, eh?

Quiet_Man said...

1)Bloggerheads, sheer self righteous, self pitying leftis twaddle
2) Tom Harris, used to be good reading, until recently when he came over all authoritarian.
3) Terry Kelly, dear, oh dear oh dear.
4) Old Holborn, often very very good, but his views on Israel make him a total and utter twat.
5) Obo, because he is.
6) The Monarchist ( sycophantery gone orbital.
7) Bevanite Ellie, this girl should really get a life.
8) Kerry McCarthy, ban me will you? twat.
9) Boatang and Demetriou, would have been higher, but they're trying too hard these days.
10) Tory Bear, occasional defender of the indefencible.

Bunni said...

Hi Gotty!  I put the cool pic with the code right at my top right side.
I will have to compile my list of 10 fully later, but I'll give you my top 5 now. ;)
1. <span>Cuntcillor Terry Kelly</span>
2.  Andrew Twatward, Psycho 007 mental case
3.<span> Kerry McCarthy</span>
4.  That common purpose bitch and or common purpose website
5.  Obo the clown.....(i just don't get him)

Fraser. said...

1,Iain Dale fat tory prick!

2,Terry Kelly.

3,The stilettoed socialist,you know the one the posh tart who is friends with Blairs son, and got put into the safe Liebore seat up somewhere near Liverpool.

4,I got bored with Guido a long time ago.

Ballboy Billy said...

Iain Dale..1-100
One total jerkoff
he is ,to the Blogosphere what Judas Iscarriot was to the Last Supper
Liberal Vision 101-200
I'de rather do a Lambada with Medusa

Schmuck Finder General

Corrugated Soundbite said...

Apologies. For some reason that post didn't format as usual...

Indyanhat said...


Have a think I will
1. Iain Dale
2.The Mc Carthy bitch, vote fixing apologist!
3....ooooooo...let ya know laterz....

will post the thingy now!

GrumpyOldTwat said...


GrumpyOldTwat said...

No worries. The twat votes have come through loud and clear ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Great pics to go with the votes .... nice touch ;)

Barking Spider said...

And how could I forget.....

9) Toilets Maguire - Labour bitchboy, co-conspiritor of Dolly Draper, Charlie Whelan and Damien McBride and Far-Left twat extraordinaire. Oh, and he's a Twatterer, too!

rinky stingpiece said...

can't be arsed.

but you get my vote for the twattyest commenting software.

Swiss Bob said...

Can't say I disagree with a single vote, almost.


Fence sitting twat.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

So I guess you won't be too fucking happy when the paywall goes up and it'll cost you 99p to post a comment ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>Fence sitting twat"</span>
Is that a vote for one of the LibDem bloggers, Bob? ;)

Bunni said...

Our comment thingy is the BEST out there  :-D

Bugger (the Panda) said...

1)  Guido Fawkes
2) Jeff at SNP Tactical Voting

Bugger (the Panda) said...


Councillor Kelly
       " ad infinitum and ad nauseum

The Grim Reaper said...

Aye, Tory Bear does seem to have his moments of twattishness these days, sadly. Appearing on the BBC News Channel a couple of times seems to have gone to his head.

The Grim Reaper said...

Liberal Twatspiracy, Pickled Bolitics, that sort of stuff?

The Grim Reaper said...

I'd have voted for John "Squawk" Demetriou, the one that occasionally hangs around Obnoxio The Clown's place if he had his own blog.

Catosays said...

 Having thought long and hard...well, about 30 seconds, here's my choice of Twats

1. Supreme Twat...Tom Harris
2. Dale
3.Kerry McCarthy
4.Her crony..BevaniteEllie
5.Tim Ireland
6.Terry Kelly
9. Tory Bear
10..Sadly...Obo..not funny any more.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Thanks to everyone who has voted so far, both here and via email, and for those that haven't yet ..... please spare a few minutes to vote for your top twats of the blogosphere!

Go on, you know you want to ;)

alfie noakes said...

grumpy old twat gets my vote. arsehole.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Excellent! Hadn't thought of that one even though the clue was in the name. Guess that's why I am twat then ;)

He's Spartacus said...

How many times can I vote for Sunny Hundal?

Cath Elliott is also a twat (or very nearly - she's possibly a prick - the jury's out).

Ed Balls (he of the multiple mortgages, the face only a mother could love, and the Nazi-clad, arse licking drinking binges).

Strangely he was never a member of the Bullingdon Club. Bit on the tame side for our Edward Michael.

Oh, and his campaign team for Twat Team of the Year.

He's Spartacus said...

Bugger. I forgot the ├╝ber groupie, Gellard. I really, really want to stamp on her face.

You are hereby authorised to put her fifth on my list (below).

Indyanhat said...

3.Labour List, they are ALL a bunch of self decieving lying TWATS!
4.Terry Kelly, having seen the blog the man IS a Cunt (and a fat one too)
5.Alistair Campbell, how can he not be listed?
6.Gordon Brown, liar coward and disapearance artist!
7.Nick clegg blog, for No comments ...TWAT
8.Old Holbourn, too up himself and saying nothing worth reading!
9.constantly furious, who simply fucked off...twat!
Terry Kelly's daughters blog going by the name of ...terry kelly? Twatess!!!

He's Spartacus said...

Red that initially as "Face sitting twat".


The Grim Reaper said...

Fear not, my child. You will eventually get the chance to become a GrumpyOldCunt instead. ;)

The Grim Reaper said...

Am I allowed to bribe people into voting the way I want them to? That is, I give them some money and they all, in turn, send in emails voting for Tim Ireland to win this festival of twattery?

Under New Labour, the arrangement described above was called the welfare state.

He's Spartacus said...

Hundal's going to stroll this, or I'm no judge of a leftist fossil.

RantinRab said...

You cunt!  At least I don't have a fucking peacock obsession. 

The Lakelander said...

Am I allowed to nominate myself?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

<span>"How many times can I vote for Sunny Hundal"</span>
Just the once but there's nothing to stop yer mates voting for them ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

'him', even (doh!)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I'll look the other way ;)

*leaves room whistling a jaunty indistinguisable tune*

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Well, technically yes although I'd be rather disappointed if you did ;)

The Grim Reaper said...

It's a shame Lard Ahmed doesn't have his own blog - I could tell 10,000 spambots to vote for him.

Dioclese said...

Here's a few for you gotty,

Ian Dale : The libertarian with the iron fist. Hypocrite.
Cranmer : sanctimonious twaddle
John Redwood : Talks bollocks and does it boringly
Alistair Campbell : Boring supercilious lefty cunt
Kerry MacCarthy : Pond life
Gordon Brown : Can't believe this cunt actually has a blog!
Tax Fix : : "Who thought taxes could be interesting?" Actually nobody!
Labour Uncut : : total cunts
Boris Johnson : : Need I explain why?

I am greatly relieved that no-one has nominated me yet - or is that tempting providence?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Don't forget that there's all the votes coming in via email too .... and although I haven't studied them in detail, I don't recall seeing you on there yet ;)

Barking Spider said...

What exactly occurs with the peacocks then, Rab? =-O

Barking Spider said...

Okay, Gotty, I've thought long and hard and my final nomination is....

10)  Bevanite Ellie - definitely worth a good shag if she'd just shut the fuck up!

(I tried to find that great photoshopped pic you did of her but I must have saved it in the wrong folder - so here's the boring one.)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I know the one you mean Spidey. It's an excellent one that TLOTF put together and sent in. It should be on this blog somewhere, I'll see if I can find it ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I know the one you mean Spidey. It's an excellent one that TLOTF put together and sent in. It should be on this blog somewhere, I'll see if I can find it ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Yep ..... here it is .....

Corrugated Soundbite said...

You treacherous man, Spidey :-P

Just don't tell me when you do though! Or else I shall be far too preoccupied with the thought of bloggy "sloppy seconds", unless I get there first, obviously  :-P (how I'd LOVE our Eleanor to read this)  :-D   :-D  

Sorry...  ;)

Barking Spider said...

That's the very one..... ahhh, that's better!

Barking Spider said...

<span> Bloggy "sloppy seconds" it is, CS!</span> :-P <span> </span>

Barking Spider said...

I love our Comment Thingy too, Bunni. 8-)

Ian said...

I'm not posting the full top 10, but #1 twat surely has to be Johanna Kaschke (

Goodnight Vienna said...

This prat should definitely be included - he's top of my list:

Also Iain Dale for being a toadying media whore with a tongue that's been places you wouldn't want to know about.

I haven't had much time lately but will get my top ten in before the deadline :-)

Bunni said...

I know it's not in the UK, but the biggest twat website has to be that "organizing" site obummer the mongrel-in-chief- sends emails to the "Kenyan Fuckwad" from!
If you take US admissions, he is all 10 and then some.

David vance said...

Good idea, GOT. However there is NO way that Mr Dale's poll is "right-wing". He is liberal and so are most of those who buzz around it. REAL right-wingers get little focus from that area.