World Cup Snow Balls

Like a lot of people in the UK at the moment, I seem to be at the mercy of that mild autumn weather that the Met Office promised us all. Yep! This grumpy old twat is knee fucking deep in flakes of global warming and unable to get to work (a-fucking-gain).

So I popped on the Sky News to catch up with all the latest headlines MSM filtered fuckwittery  and ... what the fuck! I was greeted with some be-spectacled, suit wearing, numbnuts in Zurich banging on nineteen to the fucking dozen in dago-ese or some such bollocks. Apparently I had arrived just in time to hear the live presentation of Spain and Portugal's World Cup bid... or some such shit.

What's worse is that I very soon realised that all this 'live' World Cup bid bollocks is going on all fucking day! This is 'news' is it? Who the fuck cares? Oh, how silly of me, I almost forgot that's why the the Twat Boy Three are over there .... England are making a bid for the World Cup in 2018 *yawn*. Yes, iDave the spineless euro cock sucker, Willie (whose name sounds like a cock and has a big cock) and Becks a bottled lager a  talentless cock who once kicked a bladder around on some grass for 90 minutes (like a complete cock), are trying to secure the bid to host the 2018 World Cup in England.

The only reason they are there is 'automatic qualification'. England are so shit at football they don't stand a fucking chance in qualifying any other way. The over payed, talentless, tosspots are far to busy drink driving their Bentley's and taking their teammates' wives up the wrong 'un to have the where with all to actually do what they are fucking paid for!

Now where was I? Oh yes ....

Oi, Highways Dept desk jockey jerk offs ... pin your fucking ears back!

We don't all live within 6 fucking feet of a motorway or drive a big fuck off 4 x fucking 4. When the fuck are you twats going to get your act together and clear the sodding snow off the roads so that I can get back to work and earn some fucking money!

We're not all work shy employees of the state you know.

Some of us REALLY do want to work.

I've paid my car tax, I've paid my council tax. So I suggest that you lardy arsed, desk jockey jerk offs  get the fuck on with what I've fucking well paid you to do!

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Throwing In The Towel

"For the last eighteen months I have been trying to wake up those who are comfy, safe and warm, firmly wrapped up in their fluffy duvets. I am tired now of prodding, and poking, and shaking those who do not wish to be awoken."

I know exactly how he feels.

It's hard work.

Personally, I think he has made a huge contribution to the blogosphere and still has plenty to offer us all in the future. Even if it's a swift kick up the arse to all those who would rather bury their heads in the sand in the hope that all the bad stuff will just 'go away'.

It won't.

Maybe we can persuade him not to hang up his keyboard?

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Son Of Brown

David Cameron on Red Ed Miliband @PMQs :

"I'd rather be a child of Thatcher than a son of Brown"

Quite.

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Is The X Factor Fixed? ++ Updated ++

Why are England so bad at football? Is the X Factor fixed? Who is Justin Bieber? What does the Grumpy Old Twat do for a living*? Where is Raoul Moat? These are just some of the all important questions that are worrying Jill and Joe Public, across the UK at the moment.

Oh for fuck's sake! Is that really what the majority of the UK are worried about these days. What about the Afghan War, the demise of decent Justice in this country, the corruption of the European Union and the continuing islamification of the UK which is eroding our sovereignty, the total bollocks that is MMGW ....

.... or the state's 24/7 surveillance of everything we do or say?

Nope.

There are for more important things afoot.

Just look at the full Top 20 list of 'rising questions' on the Ask Jeeves website:

1. Why are England so bad at football?
2. Is the X-Factor fixed?
3. What is the Government going to cut next?
4. Who is Justin Bieber?
5. Did I vote for the right party?
6. Do all footballers cheat?
7. Should I buy an iPad?
8. What is Glee?
9. Why didn't Coleen leave Wayne?
10. Will Big Brother ever come back?
11. Why didn't Cheryl put Gamu through?
12. Where can I buy a micro pig?
13. Will I still get child benefit?
14. How are the Chilean miners surviving?
15. Where is the ash cloud?
16. Why did that woman put the cat in the bin?
17. When will the recession end?
18. Who killed Archie Mitchell?
19. Where can I buy a vuvuzela?
20. Where is Raoul Moat?

Give me strength.

Will all the fuckwits who are living in cloud-fucking-cuckoo land, please wake the fuck up and smell the twatting coffee! If you don't do it soon it'll be too fucking late and then you'll be asking the question: "I was watching X Factor at the time and didn't notice a thing but when was it exactly that we all became totally fucked?


+++ UPDATE +++

And that's from someone who actually won the very first X Factor! Fair play to him for taking the trouble to comment although I object to being compared to Alf Garnett. He was a reactionary, mean-spirited, selfish, bigoted, anti-Irish, anti-Catholic, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, West Ham supporting anti-Semitic played by a Jewish actor ... wasn't he?

Perhaps Steve just meant I was a reactionary ;-)

*I made that fucker up, obviously.
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Bizarre Police Report Of The Week

Melissa Lee Williams has uttered a line never previously recorded in a police report before. Well, not one that the Grumpy Old Twat has come across before anyway. The West Virginia woman faced assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct.

"Eat my pussy", she demanded of the two men before she "commenced to undress herself". One man "declined said invitation" but the other man told cops that he "agreed to perform at her request." However "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odour emitting from Melissa Williams" and, understandably, "declined to proceed any further."

Fair enough.

It was as this point that Williams allegedly "produced a lock-back folding knife," opened it, and then uttered the line never previously recorded in a police report before:
"Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat."

I take it that she was pretty well gagging for it then but unfortunately for her though, by all accounts, the poor chap involved was gagging at it rather than for it.

Further details of the incident, if you're feeling brave, and that all important photograph of the sleazy seductress are available here.

Enjoy!

Free pack of *ahem* odour eaters goes to Joe Public for the tip off, just in case Williams should ever corner him in a Hotel somewhere ;-)

BBC : Hate Crime Figures

Just spotted a report on the BBC webshite about the recently published 2009 Hate Crime Figures. Call me a grumpy old twat if you like but the unattributed BBC report has gone into bias overdrive using the phrase "An Acpo spokesman said 703 crimes were anti-Semitic but the religions of the other victims were not known".

No mention of indigenous, white, christian, heterosexuals being targeted of course but even though this is the very first time that Hate Crime Figures have been published, the bias BBC still manage to squeeze this little beauty in to the report ... "Although data was not collated nationally before 2009, Acpo says it believes there has been a rise in all five types of hate crime."

'Believes'! Fucking 'believes'!

Who fucking 'believes' there's been a rise which you can't fucking prove?

BBC report unattributed and quotes from 'a spokesman'.

Oh yes, the Bias Brainwashing Channel at it's very finest dontcha think.

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WikiLeaks Cable Ends Turkey EU Ambition

Once this WikiLeaks US Embassy cable does the rounds, it'll be quite obvious that there is not a snowball's chance in hell of Turkey being able to join the EU. The US assessment of Turkey's Islamist influence begins from paragraph 10:

¶10. (C) AKP's lack of cohesion as a party and lack of

openness as a government is reflected in the range of murky,

muddled motives for wanting to join the EU we have

encountered among those AKPers who say they favor pursuing

membership...or at least the process. Some see the process

as the way to marginalize the Turkish military and what

remains of the arid "secularism" of Kemalism. We have also

run into the rarely openly-spoken, but widespread belief

among adherents of the Turk-Islam synthesis that Turkey's

role is to spread Islam in Europe, "to take back Andalusia

and avenge the defeat at the siege of Vienna in 1683" as one

participant in a recent meeting at AKP's main think tank put

it. This thinking parallels the logic behind the approach of

FonMin Gul ally and chief foreign policy advisor in the Prime

Ministry Ahmet Davutoglu, whose muddy opinion piece in the

Dec. 13 International Herald Tribune is in essence a call for

one-way multi-cultural tolerance, i.e., on the part of the EU.

You can read the cable in full here.

The Turkish leader, Erdogan, who Cameron seems to be so 'in love' with, is described as having "hunger for absolute power and for the material benefits of power" . He has "a sharp authoritarian style and deep distrust of others" and he surrounds himself "with an iron ring of sycophantic (but contemptuous) advisors". As a result, he has a "susceptibility to Islamist theories". And this is supposed to be the Secular leader who 'Call Me Dave' assures us will lead Turkey - and the EU - to a better age!

So, Mr Cameron, what the fuck are your chances of giving your beloved Turkey a shoe-in to the corrupt ranks of the European Union now then? Fuck all, I'd say.

It doesn't end there though. There's more, much more, tucked away in that same cable which will undoubtedly set Cameron, Van Rompuy and all the other EU fuckwits, setting their spin machines to 'max'.

Katabasis has done a complete breakdown and an excellent, comprehensive analysis of the cable, and what it means to the future of the EU, right here.

Please take time to read it and then spread the word far and wide!

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