My thanks to Either Banned or Compulsory, for the suggestions he made in the 'comments' of an earlier post.
Monday, 9 February 2009
Sunday, 8 February 2009
We're Not All Fucking Chavs
The Grumpy Old Twat has been shocked to the core, yet again, by some marketing mong or other who has decided to 'fix' something that just isn't fucking broken.
Most of you will all ready know that I don't like change for change's sake and it certainly fucks me off big time when some spotty faced twat, fresh out of marketing school, decides to fuck around with perfectly adequate existing foodstuffs that have been happily available in the same traditional way for donkeys years.
Well, Walkers 'jug eared smug twat lineker' Crisps have decided we now need some new flavours with which to tickle our taste buds. Oh no, Ready Salted, Cheese & Onion, Salt & Vinegar and Smokey Bacon just aren't fucking good enough for us anymore.
Ok, ok, so I admit to the odd packet of Tomato Ketchup flavour but it appears that those who know best at Wankers Crisps have decided that we have now all become lardy arsed, gut bucketing, 50" plasma watching, fat fucking freeloading, tasteless Chavs and we now need these 6 new flavours to suit our benefit fueled lay-about lifestyle.
- Onion Bahji
- Fish & Chips
- Cajun Squirrel
- Builder's Breakfast
- Chilli & Chocolate
- Crispy Duck & Hoisin
Whaaaat the buggery, fucking, bollocks of a planet were these 'fuck up our food' fuckers on when they thought of this pile of shit? And what kind of sad fuck sits down in his laboratory, whips out his tasteless taste buds, and decides what fucking squirrel should taste like?
Just fuck the fuck off, get a new life and leave our crispy comestibles alone!
It's enough to drive me to drink.
Oh, ok then, just a bottle of Islay single malt with the top off and a straw inserted . . . . oh, and perhaps a few Twiglets would be nice. No 'funny fuck' flavours though.
Twats!
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Sharon Shoesmith - A Woman?
Sharon Shoesmith, the heartless Haringey Council headbitch ultimately responsible for allowing Tracey Connelly, Jason Barker and Stephen Barker to murder a poor defenseless baby, Peter Connelly, has finally decided to bestow her thoughts upon us.
Wow, that's fucking big of her!
Nearly 18 fucking months after the event.
An interview on Radio 4's Weekend Woman's Hour.
Fucking ironic, I thought, I didn't have her down as 'a woman'. A person of the normally gentler sex, caring, responsible, natural instinct for the welfare of a child etc., etc.
And unsurprisingly no, she hasn't had a change of heart either. Just the usual, predictable spouting of well established 'I'm not to blame' phrases that have become all too common from overpaid twats who fuck up whilst in positions of authority.
And that is my point.
If you took out the words baby, child, children, neglect etc from her pathetic justifications, what the buggery bollocks were we fucking listening to!
The way she was blathering on, the standard phrases she was regurgitating and the general well prepared, 'spin doctored' bollocks she was uttering could have led you to believe that she was defending any kind of establishment fuck up that you would care to think of.
We are talking about the 'murder' of an innocent young child here, you insensitive fucking bitch! Not some lost data stick, British jobs for British workers or lack of fucking rock salt to put on the roads.
Has she not learnt her fucking lesson yet?
Sadly, very sadly, she blatantly has not.
Nor, according to the evidence so far, I doubt if she ever will.
All we can do now is keep our ear to the ground.
That fucking bitch is bound to incidiously work her way in to yet another overpaid establishment position in the not too distant future and this will, no doubt, be surreptitiously provided by our equally incompetent government.
We must not let this happen.
May Sharon Shoesmith never find peace, ever.
God bless Peter Connelly.
Rantiest Rant of the Day
I suggest you do the same, it's good and it contains the 'Rantiest Rant of The Day'!
Incidentally, as you probably already know, I'm not the biggest fan of Jeremy Twatson and his Twat Gear ensemble.
Used to love it. Not anymore.
It's turned into yet another waste of our Licence fee.
As much as it hurts me to admit it though, I damn well fucking admired The Twatson for having a go at Gordoom, the one-eyed fat fuck. Credit where credit is due, I say.
Anyhow, back to the real point in hand. I love a fucking good rant and I equally enjoy reading other fucking good rants too. So here, in my humble opinion, is 'The Rantiest Rant of the Day' courtesy of The Screech:
Jesus H Christ! What is it lately with all these uncalled for defenders, coming to the defence of someone they think needs defending without even asking those who they think need defending if they actually want defending? Just fuck off!!! Oh and before you go, pass me the scotch on ice and don't let the door hit you in the back of the head on the way out.
Fucking nice one!
That's the fucking way to have a damn good rant.
Let the fuckers have it with both barrels.
Twats!
Shoesmith on Radio 4 @ 4pm Today
'Womans Hour' is not one of my usual ports of call but this edition should be worth a listen.
I wonder what Sharon Shoesmith's agenda is going to be?
Seems a bit too fucking late to be issuing apologies for the death of Peter Connelly!
I dare say it'll be more a case of her naming who she thinks is responsible rather than carrying the burden of guilt herself. A technique she'll have learnt from Gordoom Brownfinger, no doubt.
I have heard that she has considered suicide.
Well, Shoesmith, don't hold back on our account.
Bitch!
Friday, 6 February 2009
It's Snow Fucking Joke
Oi, Highways desk jockey jerk offs!
Pin your fucking ears back.
We don't all live within 6 fucking feet of a motorway or drive a big fuck off 4 x fucking 4. When the fuck are you twats going to get your act together and clear the sodding snow off the roads so that I can get back to work and earn some fucking money!
We're not all work shy twatting teachers you know. Some of us REALLY do want to work.
Twats!
Even More Jacka-fucking-nory Head Fucks
As promised, here's a few more examples of classic childrens material revisited. I'd like to see the British Broadcasting Cunteration reviewing this collection of non-PC shit on The One Show!
Yes, that's right, fuck off you golliwog hating bunch of over fucking sensitive, Nanny state PC twats!
That is all!
Or is it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)