A New Low For The United Nations

"Pakistan distinguishes itself on the internet by leading the world in Google searches for 'animal sex', 'child sex' and 'rape sex'. . . . How wonderfully inclusive of the United Nations to hand the fox the keys to the hen house, yet again. Yes, ok, so these countries may well treat women like dogs but hey that's their culture right and we gotta respect it don't we?"

BBC Children In Need

I see that those politically correct cretins at the BBC aren't satisfied with just having Pudsey anymore .... this year our kids have been introduced to another bear called Blush.

It's *ahem* dark furred and female. 

Oh for fuck's sake, where will all this righteous PC fuckwittery end!

To be honest, I don't really give a fuck. My own children will be in need, and their children, and their childrens' children, for years to come ... they're fucking bankrupt, no thanks to 13 years of New Labour and the total inadequacies of the LibConDem Coagulation.

So BBC Children In Need can fuck the fuck off.

Charity begins at home as far as I'm concerned.

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The World's Most Powerful Breasts

Thank fuck it's Friday again!

Apart from the fact that the UK seems to be even more fucked than it was this time last week, I've had another one of those weeks I'd rather forget. I won't bore the arse off you with the details but suffice to say that I do actually have a broadband connection today. Fucking hurrah!

So, let's kick the weekend off with Busty Heart, possessor of the world's most powerful breasts apparently. Judge for yourselves but it's definitely a 'what the fuck' moment, if ever I saw one. Not for the faint hearted and the looks on those judges faces are just fucking priceless!

All the squashed beer cans he can drink go to Joe Public for the titillation ;-)

Sergeant Mark Andrews Cleared Of Assault ++Update 2++

I shit you not.

Sergeant Mark Andrews, who was caught on CCTV assaulting Pamela Somerville at Melksham police station in Wiltshire, has had his earlier 6 month jail sentence quashed after 'winning' an appeal today.

Lets have a look at the evidence again ....

What. The. Fuck!

I must be seeing things then because the Judge Bean at Oxford Crown Court has now said, after a four-day hearing, that he was satisfied Sergeant Andrews did not intend to throw Ms Somerville into the cell and that the injuries she suffered were probably caused by falling down the stairs the door frame.

Meanwhile, Sergeant Shitwipe remains suspended from duty on full pay pending the result of an internal police enquiry. Yeah right ... any guesses to the outcome of that then?

We are all so fucked .... or as Old Holborn would say, welcome to East Germany.

+++ UPDATE +++

And how they rejoice in rural Wiltshire!

"There are three excellent consequences to this decision. First, Andrews is exonerated. Second, the handwringers will go absolutely orbital, which will be fun to see and finally, Wiltshire ACPO have been shown to be more interested in public image than truthful reality."

Oh, just fuck off back to your tea and doughnuts will you.


+++ UPDATE 2 +++

I thought that this fairly recent quote from James Bulger's mother was rather apt,
in the current circumstances :
"Once again justice has not been done"

She said it after John Venables had been given a sentence of only 2 years, from a possible maximum of ten, after being convicted of child porn offences. Apparently, this was because the crimes were blamed on the "isolation and fear", that Venables felt, while living under a false name after his early release from jail for killing James Bulger.

Oh, do fuck off! Some of the photos that 'aroused' Venables were of two year olds .... the same age  James Bulger was when brutally murdered by Venables.

Why tell you all this now?

Well ... who do you think the fucking judge was?

All previous posts on Sgt Andrews can be found here

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Funniest MMGW Story Of The Year

A fire that caused $1.1 million worth of damage to a warehouse, filled with rock legend Neil Young's music equipment and memorabilia, appears to have been caused by his hybrid car which was also stored at the site.

Bwaahahahahahahahahahahaha!

And as if that wasn't ironic hilarious enough, the music legend had just returned from an appearance at the Specialty Equipment Market Association car show in Las Vegas ....
where he had delivered a 'talk' on his hybrid electric Lincoln.

"I love my car!" he told the audience.

A hockey stick of his choice goes to C Monster for the heads up ;-)

Helicopter Pilot To Marry Cabin Crew Descendent

If you've been watching Sky News or the BBC News Channel, over the last 24 hours or so, then you'd be forgiven for thinking that there was absolutely nothing else going on in the world ... apart from Prince William's engagement to Catherine Middleton. 

The great and the good (?), and plenty who are neither, have been queuing up to give their opinions on the big announcement. Here's a small selection of the worst best :

The Queen : "Catherine the commoner! We are so not amused."

Prince Phillip : "Kate Moss was it? Bit old isn't she? Could do with a square meal too, the scrawny bitch. Christ! One would have to wrap her in duck tape on the wedding night ... in case she split."

Prime Minister David Cameron : "I received the news in a call from Buckingham Palace during a cabinet meeting and it was greeted with a great cheer as we suddenly realised that we'd be able to bury shit loads of bad news ... everyday for the next fortnight."

Gordon Brown: "I send them all my best wishes for a long and happy married life together. It'll be a great success!"

Prince Charles : "At Last! I'm obviously thrilled. They've been practising long enough! Many a time nanny has caught Willy practising after 'lights out' with a dog eared photo of Kate, posing topless on the freshers' bar at St. Andrews."

Lembit Opik : "I've had her!"

Herman Van Rompuy : "Great! Something else for the UK to waste taxpayers' money on. Perhaps that'll divert attention away from my UK taxpayer funded, EU gravy train for a while."

Iain Dale: On my LBC show tonight from 7 ..." 

Red Ed Miliband: "Over-privileged toffee nosed twats!"

Prince Harry: "I am delighted that my brother has popped the question! It means I've gained a sister, with a ring like my mother's, who is not averse to a having a chopper land in her back garden ... which I have always wanted."

 

At the time of posting, pictures of Kate Middleton's ring were still unavavilable but I did manage to find one of the helicopter pilot's chopper .....

Prince William pictured with his chopper, earlier today

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Nothing To See Here ...

... for another day or so. Two at the most.

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves or move along.

Meanwhile ...

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