Sunday 24 October 2010

The Fuckwittery Continues


Here are five more pieces of fuckwittery that'll be almost guaranteed to wipe the that smile off your face and quickly raise the temperature of your piss to boiling point. All five of the fuckwittering fuckers had me screaming 'fuck off' at my, now spittle splattered, widescreen monitor .... then rushing off to pressure wash and steam clean the garden path.

A-fucking-gain!

Government plans to sell off nearly one million acres of Britain's forests
Legislation protecting Forest of Dean, Sherwood Forest and other ancient woodlands, some included in the 1215 Magna Carta, are likely to be changed to give private firms the right to cut down trees.

Top tips to help you Green your Halloween
Halloween creates a lot of waste, dropped sweet wrappers, discarded plastic masks, and unwanted pumpkins. Fear not! Ecologically minded websites are giving us all tips on how to protect the environment, this Halloween.

Slot Gob's sister converts to Islam after a holy experience
"It was a Tuesday evening and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy. Now I don’t eat pork and I read the Koran every day. I’m on page 60."

No more beef, cheese, tea and coffee it'll help combat climate change
We must eat more vegetables and pulses to reduce food transportation and start using microwave ovens and pressure cookers to reduce energy consumption, say the Government food police.

Plainclothed traffic wardens in unmarked cars issuing parking fines
London council continues using covert tactics despite the Parking and Traffic Appeals service overturning the fines issued by non-uniformed officers.

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43 comments:

Bring On The Revolution said...

Totally agree with you Gotty!! Absolutely fucking disgusting on all 5 counts, hang the lot of the Westminster complete total and utter fuckwit village idiots for treason!!!

MTG said...

I turned down the thermostat and fitted energy saving bulbs. I gave up red meat and began walking to the shops. I invested in a water butt; made a compost heap and recycled all waste.

Now they want my tea and coffee. Where does deprivation end and justifiable homicide begin?

Heads on poles said...

I was rather hoping this kind of mindless skullfucking shite had disappeared after the one eyed pant-pisser of porridge land had fucked off to his padded cell.
Apparently not.
Why is it that every single shithead that wants to alter the world in to their way of thinking manages to get airtime and those that just want to get on with their lives aren't allowed a say?
Perhaps normality is too boring and doesn't get readers/viewers/listeners.

Perhaps there ought to be a website, similar to the 'you've been Cromwelled' site where you can send a FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR MOUTHINGS email to.

Barking Spider said...

<span>Slot Gob's fucking sister needs a fucking liberal shot of spiritual ketamine, heavily laced with belladonna and cyanide, the fucking bitch! And if fucking vegans and vegetarians are anything to go by, the resulting methane production would start a runaway greenhouse effect, the farty cunts! </span><span></span> >:o >:o >:o >:o <span></span>

<span>My piss has now boiled to the point of blowing off my bellend! Cunts, cunts, more cunts, fucking cunts, and fucking cunting cunts, the whole fucking lot of these cunting, fucking...... CUNTS! </span> >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o >:o <span></span>

David Thompson said...

Why the fuck should the state own the forests? And trees are a crop not an ornament. Sell it all off.

Angry Teen said...

This forest fuckwittery has made me eager to learn about free market environmentalism.

Perhaps I could be a Greenie too? A free market greenie, of course...

Bring On The Revolution said...

You feel better after getting that off your chest BS?? Totally agree with you, this whole shit hole of a country is "run" by utter CUNTS!!!!!

Bring On The Revolution said...

I like the bit on the Traffic "Taliban" warden story where it says that Merton Council is "Concerned about the personal safety of the wardens"......It's absolutely wonderful to know that every driver wants to beat the living crap out of the utter jobsworth car-hating officious oaf commie climate change freak cunts that are Traffic Wardens!!!

Caratacus said...

I knew I'd seen it somewhere - and I found it!

A picture of Gotty in a previous incarnation. He was finally pulled to one side by a concerned vizier who, dodging the spittle and repeated growls of "the CUNTS. The FUCKING CUNTS", managed to remark, "something vexes thee my Liege?"

Reading those five pieces of ripe fuckwittery you can see his point of view.

Conan the Librarian said...

Who needs tea and coffee when you've got home brew.

Akvavitix said...

Oh Christ! Oh Christ! Where are my BP tabs!! Forty years of age and thanks to our politicians one needs BP tabs, so young.................or a fucking Napalm torch.

Caratacus said...

<span>Now I am a simple soul - as many here will confirm - but "sell it off"? I would humbly point out that IT'S NOT THEIRS TO FUCKING SELL. Neither was the country's water supply for that matter but the grandest criminal of them all, the mastermind, the ultimate organised crime syndicate HER MAJESTY'S FUCKING GOVERNMENT still fucking did it. It belongs to all of us, not a gang of overpaid cunts appointed by the gang of thieves in Westminster to make a killing and fuck it all up.</span>
<span></span>
<span>The state is us. And what a fucking state we're in.</span>

Oldrightie said...

There seems to be a growing anger. Trouble is it will all be swallowed up by the unions' need to pretend they represent everybody.

Joe Public said...

"No more beef, cheese, tea and coffee it'll help combat climate change...."

I think it's an excellent idea, and recommend the policy be made compulsory for every employee of the Food Standards Agency as of tomorrow morning. No ifs, no buts, no exclusions. For employees, and every member of their families. Every individual to be clinically tested every 3 months for traces of the banned foods. If any trace be found, that individual be sacked immediately; and, their pension be forfeit.

Gildas said...

Eat more pulses? Has this been thought through? =-O

Now as it happen I do like my beef and bean soup and plenty of hot winter broth all with added gusto from some kidney beans. etc. beans on toast. Lovely. But you can see what's coming, brothers and sisters! A tendency to create my very own micro climate with a high emissions count when it comes to methane! :-[


Which I am told is a climate killer! So, there seems to be a lack of joined up thinking there somewhere :(

Although in fact the elephant in the room is very simple. There are too many people in the world for its resources. Period. Who will address this problem, I wonder? And how? :(    

Captain Haddock said...

Fear not my friends, the idiots in charge of the country seem hell-bent on continuing the lunacy begun under the last regime ..

It will only serve to drive one more nail into their political coffin .. to tighten the garotte around their collective necks by another click of the ratchet ..

The average indigenous Briton is a tolerant creature, until he or she is pushed that one step too far ..

Then, take cover, seek shelter, run for your very existence .. for their wrath is, rightly to be feared ... 

Caratacus said...

Cheersy Upsy time folks - pour a beer and have a look:- :)

tinks said...

Prior to the last election with the nastiest, vilest, most decisive bunch of self-service bastards in power, there was a palpable anger in the air that it was change for the better or revolution (something different).

What is sad is that nothing much is changing, we still have the same old nonsense and disrespect for a nation's heritage, values and its people. It's so disappointing... I allowed myself to expect better.

They continue to push us.

Captain Haddock said...

I agree Tinks ..

I think many of us were in the same position & of the same mind ..

We dared to hope that things would get better ..

We ignored those who warned us that they wouldn't ..

With the current clowns running the country, things haven't and won't get better ..

I think the tipping point is fast approaching, when we'll be left with no other alternative than to grab our own destiny with both hands .. or forever be ground into the deck by those who treat us with utter contempt ... 

Caratacus said...

<span>Earth abides Gildas. Being human (my wife assures me that I am an honorary member of the race) we tend to view things from our own perspective and how Things affect us. If we step away from that perspective and view things from the unimaginably long period of the Earth’s history, then we are but the briefest of tenants. Life will continue in one form or another, the genetic chemical self-replicators may find alternative carriers than the human race – and who could blame them?</span>
<span> </span>
<span>So the ‘problem’ isn’t really a problem at all – unless one is a human about to be directly affected by the race’s stupidity and short-sightedness. Which will be a shit thing to endure.... It will sort itself out.</span>
<span> </span>
<span>And if you keep breaking wind like that you’ll only hasten matters on you know: look what happened to the dinosaurs :) </span>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiwSDzRnyU

Bring On The Revolution said...

REVOLUTION NOW!!!!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

BS - why not nominate the cunt at http://isacunt.blogspot.com/?

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Traffic Wardens?

Civil Enforcement Officers now, doancha know?

microdave said...

Too many people?  That's already been considered by some of the "Greenies"

<span><span><span>"My three main goals would be to reduce human population to
about 100 million worldwide, destroy the industrial infrastructure
and see wilderness, with it’s full complement of species,
returning throughout the world
."
-Dave Foreman,
<span>co-founder of Earth First! </span></span></span></span>

<span><span><span>"A total population of 250-300 million people,
a 95% decline from present levels, would be ideal
."
- Ted Turner,
founder of CNN and major UN donor</span></span></span>

Now go to Pengys blog and mellow to the sounds of Steely Dan.

Bring On The Revolution said...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1323237/Facing-axe-Diocese-twice-Muslim-worshippers-Anglicans.html

Fuck the fucking fuck off and die Muzzie Colonising cunts and take OUR country back!!!!

Barking Spider said...

I do indeed, BOTR, I needed that. ;)   :-P

They kept us guessing for several months and now at least the wait is over - we now know beyond a shadow of doubt that Cameron is a complete cunt along with the rest of his Brokeback Coalition - so the gloves are off once again and it's time for a good rant at the bastards!  :-P :-D

Barking Spider said...

Good idea, Killemall, a damned good cunting is exactly what's needed.  ;) :-P :-P

Gildas said...

Sounds like a recipe for mass murder to me!?  

Groompy Tom said...

"Now I don’t eat pork and I read the Koran every day. I’m on page 60."

Is she intentionally trying to sound as fucking thick as possible ?

Granville said...

Indeed GT it may have been a tad wiser to have read the Koran before she converted.

microdave said...

I found them here: http://green-agenda.com/  There's plenty more, but I didn't want to completely ruin everybodys evening....

Woman on a Raft said...

Lauren Booth was subsequently denied entry to both Israel and Egypt.  Unfortunately, being a British passport holder, the Border Agency was unable to refuse her re-entry to Britain.

Just when I thought nothing on earth could make me feel sorry for Tony Blair, up pops his sister-in-law....

AnthonyS said...

''Tony Blair’s sister-in-law has converted to Islam after having a ‘holy experience’ in Iran.''

Just a shot in the dark, but would that 'holy' experience be something to do with maybe that she got butt-fucked by a load of muzzie-nutters over there? Maybe she's took one for the team... i.e. Team Bliar and his Middle-East 'I've converted to Catholism' envoy crappy role. Does retardedness run in the family or what?!?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Fuck me! Looks like I had a full head of hair and gladiator muscles, back in the day then ;)

Barking Spider said...

There's nothing "civil" about those cunts, Killemall. ;) >:o

Barking Spider said...

Retardedness and greed, AS.

banned said...

I puyt the energy saving lightbulbs (free c/o EDF) in the non-recycle bin., inc mercury

banned said...

That's what I was going to say about eating pulses/beans = farts = methane = manmadeglobalwarmingbollox.

banned said...

The State took control of the forests during WW1 to protect a vital al resource, they then spent fifty years turning them into conifer plantations as these were more economical to harvest before realising that they looked shit and that Englandst natural forests are deciduous. They have been correcting this error for the past fifteen to twenty years but I can't see a private owner doing that on a large scale.

Dnno if they'd carry on with

http://www.goape.co.uk/

banned said...

o/t, the slack fuckers  at the Daily Telegraph report an example @ Raynes Part :-E station, it's Raynes Park >:o  you cunts!

banned said...

Any person calling for population control/reduction should be first in line for the incinerater.

banned said...

Bollox to green Halloween but in my local Tesco Metro above their pile of festive gimcrackery & gewgaws was a sign reading "UNDER 25?" followed by small print that I didn't read because I knew already that it would be yet more infantalising shit. Listen TesfuckingCo, the age of responsibilty is 16 for some things and 18 for everything else including buying fucking scary Halloween stuff and fireworks (and booze).

English Lady said...

. the infestation of idiots continues unabated and it's time these idiots were exposed, ridiculed then put in the stocks on every village green in England and pelted with rashers of bacon and pork chops, then taken  somewhere tight and confined - I suggest the Channel Tunnel - with a few tons of concrete at either end, to seal  et voila!

... and the White Cliffs of Dover illuminated on each anniversary of this fortuitous day, with the St George cross and Wyvern while Jerusalem, Land of Hope and Glory and Rule Britannia are blasted out on mega speakers and piped to every enclave that suffered such infestation as a reminder to any remaining left-leaning fuckwits.