Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Revised Emergency Statement From The Irish Prime Minister

This revised Emergency Statement, from the office of Taoiseach Brian Cowan, supercedes all other previous statements appertaining to 'The Bailout of Ireland' and related matters.

Issued  23rd November 2010 at 08.30hrs +1

"I am making an official 'Euro wide' appeal for everyone to donate as many seed potatoes as you possibly can, so I do. Check behind your sofas, under your beds, at the back of your cupboards and inside your sheds. We're feckin' desperate, so we are.

Bejesus! It's an emergency! Ireland is totally broke, so it is. We need to go back to our roots and grow as many feckin' potatoes as we can, then sell them all back to the plantation owners, so that we can clear our debt (again), so we can.

Please email your seed potato pledges to me, directly, at:
briancowanisthebastardlovechildofgordonbrownandfrankcarson@vanrompuy.eu
and I'll get back to you asap, so I will. Might be a few minutes though ... I'm just trotting off to the bog .... must be something I swallowed"

.

15 comments:

Andrew Ampers Taylor said...

Hahahaha...

As an aside, I just spent £25 on a potato vodka called Chase, which won the "best vodka in the world" prize.

Irtish take note, this is an English vodka, and was made in England with English potatoes. Eat your hearts out lads!

Gildas said...

Saw this bloke on tv last might. I admit my ignorance - i don't know anything about him. Immediate reaction? Useless tosspot small time politician. Am I wrong?   *DONT_KNOW*

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>Useless tosspot small time politician. Am I wrong?" < Nope, you hit the spud right on the head ;)
</span>

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>potato vodka called Chase" < </span>Keep that away from Brian Cowan! He already seems to be drunk in charge of a minor EU country ;)

Man with Many Chins said...

hahahaha, like it.  Fucking spud faced chancers

stopcp said...

Have some sympathy for the bloke.

Imagine having to go through life with a face like that as well as being thick and stupid.

Captain Haddock said...

Nice one Gotty ...

I've taken the liberty of forwarding this to someone whom I know reads this Blog .. and whom I think might find it interesting and/or useful ...

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Cowan is Mr Potatohead, and I claim my £5.

Oldrightie said...

He is the face of The EU. Ugly, self-righteous and rich from fiddles and corruption. Still The Irish voted for him and his beloved Lisbon treaty treachery, so why are we borrowing to pay for them?

microdave said...

Doesn't seem to have bothered Gordon Brown....

microdave said...

Would you be wantin' any driveways tarmacking??  There are lots of people over here who could help you out, so they could....

William Gruff said...

' ... <span>so that we can clear our debt (again), so we can ... '</span>

Tsk, tsk Twat!  You've quoted the man 'out of context'.  He actually said:  ' ... <span>so that we can clear our debt (again) ... wid de help of dem focken bastards de mordering English, so we can.'</span>

Anonymous said...

TREE POINTS O GUINNESS OR OIL TUMP YA
nick nack paddy whack give the dog a bone  cunts

GrumpyOldTwat said...

No worries but that does sound intruiging .... ;)

Anonymous said...

Top of the morning to ya drunken Irish tossers