Look Who's Back And Look Who Else Is Back At Work Too

After nearly 200 days of the current Parliament the snot munching, pant pissing, mono eyed, unelected prime mentalist is finally going to stand up and speak in the House of Commons today. Yes, Gordon 'I saved the world fucked the UK' Brown is finally turning up to do what he is paid for.

He will be trying to defend the jobs of those working at his local shipyard, on those two aircraft carriers that we've heard so much about. The BBC, of course, are wanking themselves silly over how the deluded twat is going to do everything in his power to stop the 50-year maintenance contracts on HMS Queen Elizabeth and HMS Prince of Wales going to France.

However, they don't seem to mention anything about the £38 billion black hole that the duplicitous dickwipe left in the defence budget. Strange that. He wasn't so keen on 'British jobs for British workers' at that time, was he. The cunt.

And, if that wasn't enough great news to warm the cockles of your heart on a dreary Monday morning, another New Labour fuckwit has crawled back out from under her stone too. Yes, Jacqui Smith has finally got herself a job. Well, two actually.

One as a 'consultant' with KPMG, which won a highly lucrative contract while she was still Home Secretary, and the other is an advisory role with Sarina Russo Job Access, (fucking ironic or what?) a company run by a close friend of Tony and Cherie Blair.

Well, well, what a fucking surprise!

Jobs for New Labour mates or fucking what.

I bet Richard Timney is rubbing his hands together, so to speak, just thinking about all those new porno films that the 'Rancid Rasher from Redditch' will now be able to buy him again ... on the expense account.

New Labour.

Lying, cheating, troughing, duplicitous fucking bastards ... one and all.

.

Jacqui Smith Says Fuck Off

The Rancid Rasher from Redditch was heard to tell reporters to "fuck off" after they discovered that she had applied for one of the top jobs at the BBC Trust.

I wonder how her constituents would feel about her getting paid £77,000 a year for two-and-half days work a week plus all the expenses she can handle. Bearing in mind that the taxpayer already pays her more than £65,000 a year for a full week's work, plus expenses, for her local MP duties.

No. You. Fuck. Off. Jacqui.
And take that tax payer funded porn film wanker of a husband with you.
Beard or no fucking beard.

Pair of freeloading cunts.

Theresa May Jacqui Did

David Cleggaron has been busy announcing his new Cabinet this morning and Theresa May is only the second ever woman to be appointed as Home Secretary . . .

Highlight of Election Night ++Update++

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fuck Off And Die. Go On. All Of You.

Fuck Off And Die
by GrumpyOldTwat

Jacqui Smith Petition

Oh dear, what a fucking shame, it looks like the residents of Redditch aren't too happy about a thieving scumbag representing them in Parliament anymore. The 'Jacqui Smith Must Go' campaign seems to be gathering momentum with 6,500 signatures on the petition already.

Mind you, you'll always find one deluded twat . . .

Jacqui Smith, Don't Forget the Porno

Third and final part of 

"Jacqui Smith is a piss taking porno provider" night, on G.O.T. . . 

Jacqui says: "I want to apologise unreservedly to the House - as I have to my constituents - for wrongly claiming for the cost of films alongside my broadband and cable connection".

I say:"What about the other £160,000 of taxpayers' hard earned that you've had your grubby, fat, lard stained fingers on" and "You seem to have left out the word porno when you mention THOSE films"

In a way though, I can't blame Flick Wrist Dickie for choosing to perform a five fingered shuffle on his festered ferret. Who the fuck in their right mind would want to play a ditty on the JS furry banjo? Christ, you'd have to spray the fat bitch in oil and throw a bag of flour at her before you'd find it anyway!

Just don't expect us to fucking pay for that as well.

What's that you say? "I'll pay the money back".  Fuck the fucking fuck off, you bullshitting, ball bag pimping, sleaze bag . . .

Jacqui and Hazel discuss their new exercise bike.

Apparently it's called the Harriet Harmoniser

Jacqui Smith, No Further Action

Part 2 of Jacqui Smith is a '£116k-troughing-twat' night on G.O.T.

No further action needed! What the fucking fucketty fuck is that all about then? For fuck's sake if that wobble bottomed 'these-are-all-the-pies-i'm-going-to-eat'*, thieving cunt had an ounce of decency left in that champagne swilling booty of hers, she'd ask me to lend a hand with her assisted suicide . . .

. . .  or, at the very least, perhaps someone will give the cash cowing cunt a dose of fatal swine flu. Good news! Looks like she's already infected . . .

*'these-are-all-the-pies-i'm-going-to-eat - H/T Captain Haddock

Jacqui Smith, Nothing's Changed

We've fucking heard it all before Jacqui, 'apologies' for doing nothing wrong, blah blah fucking blah. I have nothing to be sorry for but I'll still say sorry, blah, blah, twatting blah.

Well you'll be glad to know that my opinion of of the Jackbooted, husband-likes-to-jerk-off-at-our-expense, cash trousering, sleaze bag hasn't changed either.

So it's 'Take the piss out of Jacqui Smith night' on G.O.T., with a chance to recap on a few of those tasteful (?) images I've previously done for the kebab eating, slack jawed, thieving bitch.

Here's a couple to be going on with, more later . . .

Help Bring Jacqui Smith To Justice

As well as Old Holborn and Guido, I too am a member of the Sunlight Centre for Open Politics and we have decided to nail that bitch Jacqui Smith for being a thieving cunt.

Any contribution you might be able to make towards the £100,000 that it's going to cost to get her in front of a jury, would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to bother you if you have already donated to the campaign. You can donate via PayPal, telephone or post by clicking on this link. If we can successfully prosecute the former Home Secretary this would be a major step toward cleaning up Westminster and proving to our law makers that they are not above the law.

So put YOUR fucking hands in your pocket for a change, instead of Darling and let's teach the fuckers a lesson. Do it. Give something. Even if it's only a pound. Put the fear of fucking 60,000,000 of us into the 646 bastards who run every minutae of our lives for their own bastard benefit.

+++UPDATE+++

Guido has the latest on how the campaign is going

Jacqui Smith Tribute

I've been saving this particular one for just such an occasion.

More tributes to Jacqui Smith can be found here.

Have You Seen This Cunt?

click pic to enlarge

Excellent work from Lawson Narse.

Get the full story and check out his other work here.

Baby P, Peter Connelly. Give Me Strength!

The sentences handed out for the murderers of

Baby P, Peter Connelly,

are totally, fucking inadequate. . . .

Stephen Barker

Tracey Connelly

Jason Barker

Sharon Shoesmith

Hang the murdering arsewipes

until they are dead.

Poor Peter.

Maybe one day he will rest in peace . . .

Jack Straw and Jacqui Smith.

Far more interested in fiddling their expenses

than seeing that justice is done

for a poor defenseless little boy.

I hope they both rot in hell.

Cunts.

Read more HERE

Jacqui Smith - The Troughtator

Jacqui Smith had to sit and listen while Frontline police officers told her that MPs' expense claims were enough to shame a dictator. They said that MPs were enjoying expenses that would not look out of place in a “Third-World dictatorship”.

Well, she should fucking know!

After all, she's an expert at troughing the tax payers money whilst at the same time turning this Country into a Totalitarian state.

Lest we forget, I would like to remind you all

that Jacqui Smith is still freedom fucking, cash thieving cunt.

Quentin Letts Is A Twat

Quentin Letts is a weapon's-grade cock-end. Not a small version but the heavy artillery type. This was always true but why now particularly? He's written in the Mail that decent diplomatic and quango jobs are always rushed out when a regime is about to fall. And he's had an idea.

Ex-Marines Sir Robert Fulton is about to retire as Governor of Gibraltar and so we are due a failed politician down here next. Who does that dickwad want to send me?

That cunt Jacqui Smith!

Seriously, Letts thinks that a suitable reward for Troughgate, for Masturgate, for her Department falling apart is to be given three years in the sun with a big house, a huge salary, nothing to fucking do?

Putting it that way she'd be fucking ideal.

Well listen here Letts you tool. We don't want her. She's shite and over here we all know it.
Her husband is a wanker and we have the forms to prove it.

Christ, Gibraltar is a small place. TheEye is bound to see them in a restaurant sooner rather than later. Could anyone resist the chance to leap up and smash their troughing faces into their dinners - that will still be bought on our expenses?

Fuck of with your bollocks idea you cock-whistle and never put pen to paper again.

It's a shit idea. Forget it. Go fuck yourself.

Simples.

It Could Get Worse

Spotted a story over at Tory Poppins, about the possible outcome of a Cabinet reshuffle in June by the unelected, snot chewing, piss puddling, cock eyed, pink oboe playing, ninny grinning Gordoom Brownfinger.

What really scares the shit out of me is that Lord SoreArse of Manmuncher (Gordom's favourite pink oboe tuner) is predicted to be our next Foreign Secretary!

Next stop for the tenacious testicle tickler?

The next unelected leader of  NuLabore because I can't see the worst Prime Minister since the war making it as far as the next General Election.

As for Jacqui Smith, no P45 for her then, (and why the fucking fuck not?)

she is predicted to be moved to Education!!!!

You have got to be fucking well shitting me . . . . . 

Jacqui Smith Blogspot

I had a few minutes to spare the other night and started looking to see which blogspot names were still available and I spotted an absolute must fucking have.

Fuck me sideways, I thought,

surely I can't get away with registering that one!

 Can I?

Well apparently I can.

What a fucking result!

jacquismithisacunt.blogspot.com/

Timney's Top Totty

Previous Jacqui Smith & Wankergate posts:

Does My Arse Look Big in This

The Heat is on Jacqui

Definition of the word, Cunt

Jacqui is a CUNT

More Poor Judgement From Jacqui

The Best of Jacqui

Wankergate

Wankergate 2

Wankergate 3

Cash in the Attic

A Female Embezzler Checks In

Anyone Want Cashback

This'll Wipe the Smile Off Her Face

It's Trough at the Top (2)

Does My Arse Look Big In This?

YES!

Now fuck off.

You lard ridden, pocket lining, freedom fucking, kebab gorging cunt.

The Heat is on Jacqui

Other Wacqui Jacqui Smith posts:

Definition of the word, Cunt

Jacqui is a CUNT

More Poor Judgement From Jacqui

The Best of Jacqui

Wankergate

Wankergate 2

Wankergate 3

Cash in the Attic

A Female Embezzler Checks In

Anyone Want Cashback

This'll Wipe the Smile Off Her Face

It's Trough at the Top (2)