Sunday, 31 January 2010

I'm A Siren Voice Miliband . . .

. . . and I say fuck off you warmist cunt.


England 2010 World Cup Song

Following the cock waving antics of the England Football Team Captain John Terry, Fabio Capello has finally settled on a suitable World Cup song for the upcoming FIFA tournament in South Africa. It's actually a slightly re-worded version of the original Frank Skinner, David Baddiel and Lightning Seeds classic . . .

He's cumming home
He's cumming home
He's cumming
Terry's on the bone

Three lays on the shirt
Terry's knob still gleaming
30 Years of hurt
Never stoppped him creaming

The official England Team shirt manufactures Umbro, a subsidiary of Nike, have denied speculation that they will be including the famous slogan "Just Do It" on the new World Cup shirts. However, they have confirmed a re-design of the England Team shirt badge to reflect the lyrics of the new England World Cup song . . . .

Hat tip to The Lakelander
for the image and the inspiration

Other news from the world of sport:
Andy Murray has today confirmed that he is Scottish.

Saturday, 30 January 2010

New Labour Cut Price Poster Campaign?

I know that money is all but non-existent, in the New Labour Election Campaign coffers, but resorting to schoolkids knocking up posters on their home computers? That's scraping the preverbial barrel a bit isn't it?

Oh but hang on a minute, that's no wet behind the ears kiddywink (is it?) it's Labour's PPC for Woking, Tom Miller.

You know the one.
He blew my cover with his excellent (?) profiling technique ;-)


Grumpy Old Twats Are Superior

Thanks to an email inbox facility and the eagle eye of Joe Public, a regular commentor here, I can now confirm what grumpy old twats like me have known all along: Grumpiness is a sign of advanced civilisation.

Vindicated at last!

Mind you, it doesn't say anything about fucking swearing or behaving like a complete cunt and I'm not too over shitting joyed about being compared to a chimpanzee either but it's nice to see that I'm a bit higher up the evolutionary ladder than most fuckwits would give us grumps credit for.

Fuck me, I wonder if Grandad has seen the article yet?
Perhaps somebody should tell him ;-)

Friday, 29 January 2010

Left Wing Blogosphere ++Updated++

It's no fucking surprise that the Right wing blogosphere continue to piss all over the left and, no wonder, with laughable efforts like this it just makes our life so much easier.

In the sidebar it says " that is here to bringing you fun for hours at the expense of Conservative....". No I'm not shitting you, that is exactly what it says and if you think the grammar is bad, just wait until you see what the fuck is supposed to be "fun for hours".

Fuck me, a blind chimpanzee with no fucking hands, no computer and no fucking internet access could do better. Well, better than Gordon Brown and his totally out of touch comrades, that's for sure.

Thanks to  Katabasis for pointing out Anna's excellent post on left wing blogging. I don't know how the fuck I missed it, she's on my blogroll and my google reader! It's definitely worth a read ;-)

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Paul Flynn Handshake Assault ++Update++

Paul Flynn, Labour MP for Newport West, says people who administer bone-crushing hand-shakes to prove the strength of their personalities should be charged with assault.

What the fuck!

Speaking spewing out the usual inane bollocks on his blog post today, he also stated that shaking hands was getting less popular. A bit like you then Paul, you worthless piece of shit. Now if you think that's a bit harsh then I suggest you pop over to Fido's place, who lives in the withering wankstain's constituency, amongst other things he ain't too fucking chuffed about all the expenses that fuckwit Flynn has been pissing up the wall.

"Good riddance," Flynn the fucktard continues, "They are unnecessary, unhygienic, germ-spreading intrusions. Again, a bit like you and any other corrupt, cash troughing MP then Mr Flynn.

Finally the weak wristed wanker announces "Who will be the first person to be charged with assault by handshake?" Who gives a fuck! I'm more interested in which MP is going to be the first person to be charged with assaulting tax payers money.

Btw, Flynn, if I ever have the pleasure to meet you, it's not your hands you will need to worry about when we 'shake' . . .  it'll be your scrawny little champagne swilling neck.

Limp wristed wanker.


I thought it might be appropriate to leave a comment on Mr Flynn's blog post, and here is a screen grab of it . . .

Ten minutes later it had gone.
So it looks like 'Huw The Deletinator' has been up to his old tricks. Oh and he's changed the title of the original blog post and made subtle alterations to the comment.

You couldn't fucking make it up ;-)

++UPDATE 2++

So I posted another comment . . .

. . . and of course that was deleted too. Then, rather predictably, this comment from Paul Flynn MP appears . . . 

Run for cover, the slack jawed peasants are revolting!

Oh, and notice the timestamp for Flynn's comment. Hmmm, strange then that it wasn't there when I left my comment at 10.14pm.

No, surely not. He wouldn't, would he?

Dontcha just fuckin' luv 'em ;-)


Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Prime Minister To Be Outsourced

Following hot on the heels of the recent news about Obama it appears, as with almost all trends, that the UK is about to follow suit. This report from the Times Online website. . .

click image to enlarge

Special thanks to MicroDave
for the excellent copywriting ;-)

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Google Favours Islam ++Update++

Do you remember a post I did a couple of weeks ago about rather iffy Google searches for Islam when compared to other religions? Well, TheEye has a rather excellent post updating us with the latest developments which also includes an entertaining twist at the end.

Well worth a read ;-)


Monday, 25 January 2010

Be Stupid. Vote Labour.

Following on from my original 'Be Stupid' post,
here are a couple more offerings to add to the collection . . .

The first seven posters can be found here.


Anyone But Labour

courtesy of MishMasher

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Quote of the Day

"Stay safe out there and don't fuck any of those sluts"

New Scotland Lard Arses

Many thanks to one of my regular commentors for sending this one in. I nearly choked on my full English breakfast when I saw it! Absolutely fucking priceless . . .

click image to enlarge


Calling All British Firefighters

Any chance you could do this sort of thing over here?

It's fucking brilliant!


Andrew Gatward Selling . . .

. . . nazi memorabilia online?

That New Labour UAF troll, that BNP infiltrator, the very same Andrew Gatward aka Doubting Richard, the all around socialist scumbag and (not very fucking clever) secret agent of the blogosphere? No, surely not?

Hmmm, apparently so.

Un-fucking-believable show of hypocracy or what and, to twatting well cap it all, he's only gone and left one of his usual inane, illiterate, rambling, bullshitting, mega trollisms in a comments section of a blog, using a Jewish name for a pseudonym.

What the buggery bollocks!

Check out the entirely pathetic episode for yourself
HERE, it's fucking priceless.

Saturday, 23 January 2010

I'm A Photographer Not A Terrorist ++Update++

First picture of today's mass protest at Trafalgar Square and Old Holborn is right in the thick of it I see. Excellent!

I've also managed to spot him in this short video . . .

I've no doubt there'll be more news later ;-)

Loads more pics available here, this flickr slideshow is rather fucking good too and finally, here's a video clip from the Sky News report . . .

Meanwhile the UAF have been goading the EDL, yet again, at a protest against islamification in Hanley, near Stoke. CAUTION: I can only find a BBC report on it at the moment, so you'd better take the "lying fucker's Labour propaganda unit's" view on it and then flip it ;-)

Be Stupid

Time for a new ad campaign, based on the excellent new

Just too good an opportunity to miss, dontcha think ;-)

If you fancy having a go with a few slogans
of your own, just let me know in the comments
and I'll add the best ones to the post.

Additional posters can be found here


Friday, 22 January 2010

Iain Dale Is A Perfect Example ++Update++

Iain Dale is being targeted by me as an example not because I dislike him but because he is one of the high profile examples, and also one of the most obvious. Just look at his 'stat porn' as he swings his handbag around in the fight for top slots in the blogosphere.

He is a perfect example of what?

A perfect example of why we need to roll back the upsurge in people wishing to become professional politicians, and we need to get back to politicians being there first for the people, secondly for the ideology and their convictions, thirdly for their party who may Govern as a whole, and lastly for themselves. It probably started before, but Blair looks likes he could have been the first to properly exploit politics for personal gain and status. Mandelson of course was with him and to a lesser degree Brown who is too much a slave to his failed and dishonest ideology of socialism.

These people, like Dale, have no real sense of loyalty to anything other than themselves and their desire to become one of the 'movers and shakers' of Westminster. Look at Dales blog from the past few months and his coverage of the sleazy and slimy fucker Alistair Campbell, or even Mandelson. His lack of attack of these men is marked and also he has created a system where he pushes left wing and Labour blogs; his daily dozen has probably been more pro Campbell and Labour, specifically, than Tory. Why? His links have followed this trend. Why?

The likes of Campbell, unelected, disliked, corrupt and beyond contempt, and without any real scruples, ran the Government into a war. How could a press officer write the justification and intelligence that took this country to war? Who gave him the power and authority to decide whether our troops and hundreds of thousands of others lived, died and got maimed? This fucking press officer who lorded over military, intelligence and political superiors? Not to mention moral superiors. The club and Westminster insider elite is what gave him the authority, and it is that same club and authority that the likes of Dale seeks.

He is a claimed Tory and wants to become a Tory MP, but you must ask ourself why such a high profile, in the media, Tory, can't attract support for a decent seat.

Most prospective politicians seem to have fallen into this category of wannabe. Modern prospective politicians are a pussy whipped fucking shadow of their former selves as they seek to become one of the club, and will do anything and dump anyone and any ideology to become one of the club. Blair did and many others did since 1997. They are trying to be nice and not rock the boat.

Could you see Thatcher laying down and taking the lies and deceit of Brown and Labour without a fight and saying nothing as she seeks to portray herself as a kindly and good soul who doesn't want politics to descend into personal attack and anarchy? Fucking right she wouldn't, but this is what the present Tory party and hierarchy more ya boo politics for them, and that is exactly what Labour wants them to do. Soft and sorry bunch who need to fight back on Alistair Campbells terms, not suck his rhetorical cock and swallow his sperm like Dale does. The Tories need to take advice from people outside the Westminster bubble, people who don't necessarily crave being in that particular club but who believe in Tory values and hate socialism for the evil that it is. They might then get into the sort of electoral lead they should be in instead of languishing at a constant ten percent.

Dale, grow some fucking balls and chuck the pink handbag away and replace it with a pink wallet. Do you never wonder why such a high profile person can not get past being a failed PPC? Concentrate on being a Tory and attack Labour and their supporters then you will get into the Westminster club. People like Campbell will bring you down if it suits their purpose, so don't fete them as you have been doing.

Be a Tory first and politician second, though why should you listen to me? I'm only one of the fucking peasants outside the Westminster bubble so know fuck all.

Isn't that right?

crossposted from here


Ahhh, didiums!

Thanks to Lorenzo for the Baby Iain pic

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Cadbury's Shares Plummet . . .

. . . after ad agency insider leaks exclusive photo of new 'Flake' girl!

image by Lorenzo

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Cadbury's Fruit & Nut Case

G.O.T. more Cadbury's chocolate HERE

and The Lakelander's been at it too plus he tells us that
RBS have loaned Kraft the money to buy Cadbury's.
What the fuck!

Cadbury's Dairy Milk Labour Kraft

More Cadbury's chocolate HERE

Cadbury's Creme Egg Limited Edition

More Cadbury's chocolate HERE

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Thousands of Cadbury's Jobs To Go

Following a successful takeover bid from Kraft, Gordon Brown has announced today "The one thing I want to say is this: we are determined that the levels of investment that take place in Cadburys in the United Kingdom are maintained and we are determined of course, that at a time when people are worried about their jobs, that jobs in Cadbury can be secure."

The curse of Jonah will undoubtedly strike again.

If you work for Cadbury's, you're fucked.

More Cadbury's chocolate HERE

Monday, 18 January 2010

#Kerryout Another Planet

hat tip Dazed and Confused @ WE4 Productions

Energy Saving Light Bulbs

Well the 'free' one, that got shoved through my letterbox over Christmas, didn't save me much fucking energy when I found out how bastard much the twatting thing cost me.


It seems that I'm not the only one wasting furious energy about low energy light bulbs that are supposed to save energy. It appears that Energy company junk mail schemes have now swamped British homes with over 200 million of the fuckers, just so they can meet their Government 'green' targets.

Thirty-eight-fucking-quid for a 'free' light bulb, that's just-the-twatting-job, if you don't actually want to see anything properly and you don't mind being exposed to mercury if it becomes damaged.

Waste of time, waste of money and a waste of fucking energy.

The sooner everyone realises about climategate, the better.
I'm off to buy a 'proper' bulb, only 69p at the local hardware store.

A proper old fashioned hardware store, mind you.
Not one of those housewife ridden Homebase type fuckers ;-)

Gordon Brown Leadership Challenge

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Body Painting

Its a dirty job but someone has to do it ;-)


BBC Twitter Twats

BBC staff, sometimes “tweeting” up to 20 times a day during work hours, have been sending thousands of Twitter messages – even though the tweets twats don't appear to be reaching anyone.

I shit you not . . . you just couldn't make it up.

The BBC Radio 2 site, which gathers “tweets”, from presenters such as Chris Evans, Jonathan Ross, Alan Carr, Claudia Winkleman, Richard Madley and Simon Mayo has no followers.

The BBC Radio 5 Live site, which gathers "tweets" from the likes of Victoria Derbyshire, Richard Bacon and Jonathon Agnew has just two.

Tory MP and former Home Office minister Ann Widdecombe said: “This seems like a very odd use of time, particularly as the people tweeting are paid by the licence payer. It is yet another example of the BBC not understanding that it is funded by the licence payer.”

Rather amusingly, in reply, a BBC spokesman said: “Social media websites are an effective way of engaging with our audiences."

Twit tweet twat!

What about "BBC Arabic", I hear you ask. Well it has 2,250 followers but, rather entertainingly, that site appears to have been duplicated with one called "Arabic BBC" which has just 122 followers.

Yet another example of BBC bollocks . . . but why should they care though? It's our money that they're pissing up the wall, time and time again.

They just don't give a fuck.

Government Speak Word Game

Harriet Harman Harperson has recently used the made-up word of "wellderly" to describe the "well elderly" whilst banging on about a move to axe retirement a 65.

This prompted 'HeadsonPoles', a regular commenter here, to drop me a line with this suggestion, "What about a competition to do the same to describe, say, a member of the Government such as "funt"...."

Sounds a fucking excellent idea to me, some new and totally unflattering words to describe lowlife MPs and their associated Government departments.

Let's have some fun;-)

Here's mine (sexist bitch)

Suggested in the comments by

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Airport Scanner Porn

Barack Obama releases pornograhic nude family photos
and, by all accounts, it won't be long before
Gordon Brown gets in on the act too . . .

via ukwebspider


Give Me Fucking Strength

Not only are the taxpayers footing the bill for all the low life chav scum to sit on their fat arses watching "I'm 48 stone, pregnant and looking for love", on daytime tv, whilst stuffing their faces with pizza and chips while guzzling cans of Stella, it appears we will be paying for their phone calls too.

From the 18th January mobile phone calls to around 70 of the DWP 0800 numbers will be free.

Yes, that's fucking right!
Mobile phone calls to claim benefits will be free.

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Yvette Cooper, said: "We don't want people who lose their jobs or the poorest pensioners to be penalised when they need to claim benefits."

Is it just me or is anyone else already walking around topless?

As I said . . . give me fucking strength.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Jenson Button Sings

Direct from his cock pit, the F1 World Champion brings us
"Songs from Inside My Helmet"

via the gif bearer

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Blinky Balls Memory Loss

Ed Balls has announced today that his department will give £25,000 to Kids in Museums (where the fuck do they keep getting all this money from) to carry out research asking for families' experiences on family tickets. Blinky feels that the days of a family ticket, being defined as two adults and two children, are numbered. Balls also goes on to say, "What parents don't want from government is for us to tell them how to be a good parent or a good family . . . "

I'm sorry, run that by me again . . . .
"What parents don't want from government is for us to tell them how to be a good parent or a good family . . . "

Oh really?

What about this from just 3 days ago? 
Children's Secretary Ed Balls has defended plans to force home-educating parents to register with their local council . . .

Short term memory loss or just a lying fuckwit.

You decide.

Ed's long term memory ain't too fucking hot either ;-)

Hitler - The Drinking Game

"Bailey's liqueur should be mandatory, because
The Holocaust concludes with necking a Jew's brain."

My first thought was  . . .  what the fuck!

My second thought was  . . .  what the fucketty fuck!

You have got to be shitting me, right?

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

PMQs Tory Airbrush Poster Edition

Did you see Gordon Brown taking the piss out of THAT Tory poster and David Cameron's airbrushed photo, at PMQ's today. Fuck me, who the hell wrote those lines for him! An eight year old fuckwit?

Anyway, that aside, it got me thinking . . .

Grumpy Old Twat doesn't airbrush faces but if he did . . .

click image to enlarge

click image to enlarge

Thieving Bastard Mps

Not only have those thieving bastard MPs been consistently stealing our money, sometimes paying it back, never breaking the rules and never doing anything wrong, it now appears that the greedy, fat troughers can steal from us without even being identified.

They just don't know when to fucking stop.

Well then, if that's the fucking case then it's up to us to make sure that the corrupt, snouts in the trough, Right (dis)Honourable Members of Parliament don't get the chance to do it to us again. I'm sick and fucking tired of working my arse off to pay taxes which they ultimately waste by living their lives like kings and queens, while I have to decide which bills to pay or whether I can afford to buy my kids some new clothes.

I say, don't give them another 5 years to rob us blind.

Don't re-elect the thieving bastards!

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Desperately Need To Update My Blogroll

To be honest, I'm feeling a bit like Grandad today, so . . .

Monday, 11 January 2010

Google Favours Islam

It looks like Google are up to their old tricks again. Following hot on the heels of the dubious Google searches on climategate, it appears that they are now favouring Islam over searches for other religions. Here are a few screen grabs of searches that I have done myself :

Leaving aside some of the outrageously bias suggestions, for the two religions above, just look what happens when you try a similar search for Islam:

Nothing. Silence. No suggestions at all.
Try it yourself if you don't believe me.

Google say this is a bug and they're trying to fix it.

Yeah, right.

I say, pull the other one it's got fucking bells on it.

In the interest of fairness, if any of my readers outside of the UK would like to try the same searches via their country's Google, I'd be interested to know if they differ from mine ;-)

Bonkers Gordon Caption Competition

Global Warming The REAL Bedtime Story

via The Big Yin @ freedom2choose

Act On Co2 : It's all just an act


Sunday, 10 January 2010

Lesbians! Ed Balls? Surely Not!

Click image to enlarge

The mind absolutely fucking boggles.
I wonder if Yvette Cooper knows about this?

Due to a high volume of hits from this site
it appears that someone has removed the link above.

So, here's a new one ;-)