Funniest MMGW Story Of The Year

A fire that caused $1.1 million worth of damage to a warehouse, filled with rock legend Neil Young's music equipment and memorabilia, appears to have been caused by his hybrid car which was also stored at the site.

Bwaahahahahahahahahahahaha!

And as if that wasn't ironic hilarious enough, the music legend had just returned from an appearance at the Specialty Equipment Market Association car show in Las Vegas ....
where he had delivered a 'talk' on his hybrid electric Lincoln.

"I love my car!" he told the audience.

A hockey stick of his choice goes to C Monster for the heads up ;-)

Green Gadget Guide

I spotted an article on the Telegraph website the other day ... Green Gadget Guide it was called. What a load of fucking bollocks! Basically, it was just a way for some green spunk monkey or other to sound all fucking pretentious about so-called energy saving devices and provide a vehicle for Amazon to flog, to all those gullible green mongs, a shit load of twatting tat.

Here is a small selection of their 'Top Ten' ... with my Gotty Green Gadget Guide (money saving alternative) following each cash wasting 'energy saving' item:

Water Pebble

Sits in your shower, recording the amount of water you use per wash. Using a system of traffic lights, it tells you when you’re using more than average and gradually cuts down the time until the amber or red lights come on. Cutting a shower from 22.5L to 18L uses one third less energy, but you probably won’t even notice.

Price : £7.25

Shower every other day. Uses 50% less energy and you probably won't even notice.

Price : Twat all

Ecobutton

Works simply by allowing you to press it once to switch them into their most efficient mode. It connects to your computer via a standard USB port, and is an illuminated reminder of how easy it can be to save electricity. To waken your computer from its ecoslumber, however, just one key press makes it come back instantly. It can save you up to £50 per year.

Price : £8.25

Go to preferences control panel and select energy saving mode. When you're not using your computer it puts itself to sleep. To waken your computer from it's 'ecoslumber', just press any key ... or click the fucking mouse. It can save you up to £100 per year.

Price : Sweet fuck all

Wattson Silver Lining Energy Monitor

A clip attaches to your home’s main power supply, and then the main monitor itself can be sited anywhere to display your energy usage in power and financial terms. This information can precipitate 20 per cent savings.

Price : £123.45

Look at your electricity bill when it arrives, it will display your energy usage in power and financial terms. If it's a huge fuck off bill it can precipitate 35% savings.

Price : Bugger all

Dell Latitude E6510

Unlike many ‘rugged’ laptops, which confuse durability with bulkiness, this Dell Latitude is sleekly styled but incredibly robust, thanks to reinforced hinges and latches and an almost indestructible display. Longer-lasting laptops mean less recycling.

Price : £1959

Treat you current laptop with respect. Don't use it as a TV dinner tray or as a frisbee while you're on the beach. The hinges and latches will be just fine if your name isn't Gordon Brown. Longer-lasting laptops mean less recycling.

Price : Fackawl, innit

Breville Hot Cup

Kettles are fundamentally inefficient pieces of technology: you guess how much water to put in, then you boil all of it without reference to how much you’re actually going to use. Water heaters, while not looking too attractive in the main, work by dispensing the perfect cupful from their tanks. It’s a simple, elegant solution.

Price : £44.95

Take cup, or mug, fill with water from tap. Empty cup, or mug, of water into kettle. Boil kettle. Using same cup, or mug, make your preferred hot drink. Easy to multiply by number of hot drinks required. It's a simple, efficient solution. It could well be elegant too, depending on the design of cup, or mug, you are using.

Price : (you guessed it) Fucking fuck all!

Green fucking gadgets!

What a fucking load of absolute twatting bastard bollocks!

Or .... as 'crosswordkid' more politely stated in the comments of that article :

"Green gadgets". In other words, how can we assuage your misplaced middle-class guilt and at the same time extract as much money as possible from your wallets?

Oh, and these things are a waste of fucking time, money and energy too.

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Fate Of The World Climate Change Game

Fucking piss boiler of a fucking piss boiler or fucking what! The warmist wankstain brigade are at it a-fucking-gain. This time the eco terroists have decided that our kids' brains need washing with a new climate change computer game called 'Fate of the World'.

It goes on sale tomorrow (3 Nov) and this 'educational game' puts the player at the head of a fictional international body where you must save the world from soaring temperatures, increasing floods and deadly droughts ... and shit.

Apparently, one of the options open to any of your kids playing the game is to decide that the planet is over populated and you can then design a virus, which will kill millions, thus reducing the amount of man made carbon emissions! What the fucking fuck were they thinking about when they decide to foist this mother fucking fascist shite on to our kids.

You can take a look at all the eco terrorist twats that are responsible for it HERE.  Oh, and did I mention that this is the same people that produced the BBC Climate Challenge game and that 'Fate of the World' uses real data and input from scientists? Dare say all the science and data is the 'settled' stuff though, eh. Hmmm ... and I wonder how much TV licence fee money was donated to help out with the new venture?

And another thing, what the fuck is it with these eco fascists? They're fucking obsessed with killing people that disagree with them. Remember Franny Armstrong and her 10:10 'blow the kids up' video?

So it's now OK to produce a computer game to force kids to learn more lies about MMGW, in the hope they go out into the big wide world and eco terrorise every fucker .... but not OK if the little bastards play shoot-em-up games and then go out into the big wide world and non-eco terrorise every fucker.

Oh for fuck's sake!

All these eco terrorists really have to go .... I can't fucking see any difference between them and the brain washing Taliban fuckwits that turn their childrens' minds into terrorising non-believers of Islam.

++++ UPDATE ++++

It appears that 'Fate of the World' have a Twitter account here and a Facebook page here. I've just left a note on the eco fascists 'wall of wank' .... here's a screen grab, just in case it disappears ;-)

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The Fuckwittery Continues

Here are five more pieces of fuckwittery that'll be almost guaranteed to wipe the that smile off your face and quickly raise the temperature of your piss to boiling point. All five of the fuckwittering fuckers had me screaming 'fuck off' at my, now spittle splattered, widescreen monitor .... then rushing off to pressure wash and steam clean the garden path.

A-fucking-gain!

Government plans to sell off nearly one million acres of Britain's forests

Legislation protecting Forest of Dean, Sherwood Forest and other ancient woodlands, some included in the 1215 Magna Carta, are likely to be changed to give private firms the right to cut down trees.

Top tips to help you Green your Halloween
Halloween creates a lot of waste, dropped sweet wrappers, discarded plastic masks, and unwanted pumpkins. Fear not! Ecologically minded websites are giving us all tips on how to protect the environment, this Halloween.

Slot Gob's sister converts to Islam after a holy experience

"It was a Tuesday evening and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy. Now I don’t eat pork and I read the Koran every day. I’m on page 60."

No more beef, cheese, tea and coffee it'll help combat climate change

We must eat more vegetables and pulses to reduce food transportation and start using microwave ovens and pressure cookers to reduce energy consumption, say the Government food police.

Plainclothed traffic wardens in unmarked cars issuing parking fines
London council continues using covert tactics despite the Parking and Traffic Appeals service overturning the fines issued by non-uniformed officers.

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Climate Change Deniers Day

I recently watched some PowerSmart climate change tv commercials and they kind of got me thinking .... why should it just be the tree hugging, tofu eating, warmists that have their own climate change events. You know the sort of thing..... save this, stop using that, poor ickle polar bear days .... and shit. And who can forget those 10:10 eco terrorists, with their day of global doing, including that video which threatened to blow up up anyone (including children) that didn't believe in all that man made global warming bollocks.

So... "fuck it!", I thought ..... how about a climate change Deniers Day?

A chance for the rest of us to display our total disregard for that 'science is settled' nonsense and turn things on their head. A day where, instead of saving 10%, we can go about our normal everyday business using an extra 100% or more .....

What do you reckon .... an idea you could warm to perhaps?

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Say No To O2 ++ Updated ++

A fully fledged campaign, spotted on the EU Referendum blog, is now up and running to persuade O2 to disassociate itself from the people that made the 10:10 No Pressure video. The first entry on the website is from Nigel Farage MEP, who writes:

"O2 claims to believe in "Social Responsibility", their website proclaims "O2 is striving to be a company that matches its fresh thinking with an equally clean and ethical approach to the way we go about our business". So can it be possible that it associates itself with 10:10 whose No Pressure campaign advert jokes about blowing up people who disagree with it?"

Full Farage statement and further details at www.NoToO2.org

Join the Facebook page here

click to enlarge and download A4 poster

Blog sidebar badges to follow .....

+++ UPDATE +++

Here are the selection of badges that I promised to put together. You might like to add one to the sidebar of your blog or website ... with a link to the NoToO2.org website or Facebook page.

No Pressure ;-)

Latest O2 video advert available HERE

It confirms their support for the 10:10 eco terrorists.

Climate Change : The Final Solution ++++Updated++++

Much better than the original 10:10 mini-movie version .......

No pressure!



+++ UPDATE +++

How exciting!

I see those 10:10 fuckwits have got a 'Make Your Own Poster' facility on their webshite. Well .... it'd be fucking rude not to, wouldn't it. Here's mine ......

Have a go yourself HERE ;-)

No Pressure ++Updated++

Does anyone out there know what effect industrial quantities of boiled piss has on the habitat of polar bears ..... I can't think it does the seal scoffing furry fuckers many favours. So perhaps the likes of Richard Curtis, Gillian Anderson, Radiohead and a group of fucktard Spurs football players might like to think about that before they start trying to brain wash our kids with this load of scaremongering bollocks:

How the fucketty fuck do 10:10UK suppose that this self gratifying, holier than fucking thou, delusional, over indulgent, warmist wankfest of a 'mini-movie' is going to help reduce environmentally damaging emissions.

1. The 40 or so strong film crew all walked to the locations and used solar power to run all their lorry loads of equipment, did they.

2. They hadn't reckoned on a tsunami of boiled piss sweeping all before it every time I watched that load of liberal lefty propaganda, causing untolled environmental destruction.

3. MMGW is total bollocks anyway.

Oh, and if you'd like to tell those 10:10 twats what you think via Twitter then you can twatter the twatting twats right here ..... @1010 ..... No Pressure.

+++UPDATED+++

As mentioned in the comments, due to the uproar, 10:10 have already pulled the video from YouTube but they're fucking well  mistaken if they think it's going to disappear that easily. MicroDave has already uploaded a copy to EyeTube, so here it is:

Richard 'the climate cunt' Curtis and his warmist mutual masturbation mongs have also issued an apology of an apology and, courtesy of SadButMadLad via the comments, here's what it says:

"Today we put up a mini-movie about 10:10 and climate change called 'No Pressure’.

With climate change becoming increasingly threatening, and decreasingly talked about in the media, we wanted to find a way to bring this critical issue back into the headlines whilst making people laugh. We were therefore delighted when Britain's leading comedy writer, Richard Curtis - writer of Blackadder, Four Weddings, Notting Hill and many others – agreed to write a short film for the 10:10 campaign. Many people found the resulting film extremely funny, but unfortunately some didn't and we sincerely apologise to anybody we have offended.

As a result of these concerns we've taken it off our website.

We'd like to thank the 50+ film professionals and 40+ actors and extras and who gave their time and equipment to the film for free. We greatly value your contributions and the tremendous enthusiasm and professionalism you brought to the project.

At 10:10 we're all about trying new and creative ways of getting people to take action on climate change. Unfortunately in this instance we missed the mark. Oh well, we live and learn.

Onwards and upwards,

Eugenie, Franny, Lizzie and the whole 10:10 team"

What a load of fucking bollocks.
Free? Free my fucking arse. Here are the financiers .....

ActionAid
The Carbon Trust
The Energy Saving Trust
The Guardian
O2
Sony
Kyocera

They have all helped to fund the 10:10 Campaign.



My piss hasn't stopped boiling yet.

Renewable Reality

A wind turbine was installed at Southwell Community Primary School, Portland, about 18 months ago thanks to a grant from the Department of Energy and Climate Change and, as John Shades imagines, it probably went a bit like this:

(1) We believed you when you said CO2 was a threat,

and that windmills were part of the answer.

(2) We believed you when you said children in primary schools

should be told of climate threats.

(3) We believed you when you said our wind turbine

would kill only one bird a year.

But then renewable reality reared its ugly head.

14 dead birds in six months.

Headteacher coming in early to clean them up before the children arrived.

Children being upset by birds killed during the school day.

So ...... the wind turbine is shut down.

"We've tried so hard to be eco-friendly but now we can't turn it on."

"We can't get rid of it either because when we bought the turbine we had to apply for grants and the grant from the Department of Energy and Climate Change states that it has to stay on site for five years."

Now perhaps the teachers, having realised that (3) was in fact a total lie, will review what they have done on (2), and that will hopefully lead them back to (1) and the dawn of a shocking realisation: Humanity's CO2 has a negligible effect on climate, but it does benefit plants, and thus in due course, insects, birds, bees, herbivores, and people.

To try and put things into perspective MicroDave was despatched to Portalnd in the GottyCopter to see if he could get a picture of the big green killing machine ...... and here is what he came back with:

This is the tiny turbine that has so far killed 14 birds, mentally disturbed a school full of children and also wasted £20,000 of taxpayers money. Oh, and let's not forget, they can't get rid of the fucking thing either!

Incidentally, if you're looking for that nice bit of irony, which so often accompanies a story like this, then believe me when I say that you're not going to be disappointed this time either. Another 'tip of the turbine' goes to MicroDave for discovering who awaits you when click on to the front page of the School's own website.

You couldn't fucking make it up!

Chris Huhne Minister for Windmills ++Update++

I’ve been trying to think which politician on earth I would rather have less in a cabinet post in the current Coalition than Chris Huhne. And with the possible exception of Hugo Chavez, Kim Jong Il or Salma “Mrs Duckham” Yaqoob, I really can’t think of any.

James Delingpole

Ain't that the truth ......

My thanks to D-Rex for the inspiration, check out his original idea here

+++ UPDATE +++

Following an excellent suggestion in the comments,

here's a Phil Jones version.......

Brainwashing Bastards! +++Updated+++

 Bubble, bubble,bubble..........


 +++UPDATE+++

Many thanks for all the info in the comments about who the fuck might be behind this load of bollocks.

I have done a little more digging myself and discovered that Erica Robb is the mother behind the Schools Low Carbon Day and Cool The World websites which, you will notice, are one and the same. Erica Robb is also mentioned here as founder of the similarly named registered (?) charity. 

On the other hand if you look here, the founder is named as Erica Charles ..... one and the same perhaps? That link also tells us this:

The [Schools Low Carbon Day] website pulls together more than 30 lesson plans and sets of lesson plans from online sources such as Generation Green (supported by British Gas), The Low Carbon Partnership, ACE (The Atmosphere, Climate and Environment Information Programme, supported by DEFRA),The Prince’s Rainforest Project and others.

Interesting?

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Alarmist Headline of the Decade

The headline in question was written nearly 3 years ago and considering it's the most fucking ridiculous piece of global warming, alarmist, scaremongering bollocks that I've ever seen, I can't believe it didn't come to light a tad sooner:

Over 4.5 billion people could die from Global Warming related causes by 2012

It carries on to say "..... as planet Earth accelarates [sic] into a greed-driven horrific catastrophe"

What the fuck!

So let me get this right, there are 6.7 billion people in the World and 4.5 billion of them are going to die because we've had the odd barbecue summer or two (or not as the case may be). All those people are going to die within 5 years because they couldn't be fucked to drive a Prius* or switch their Sky+ box off standby?

The not-so-easily-shockable Anthony at WUWT
ain't too fucking impressed either.

Shit! I've just remembered that this story is 3 years old so now we only have 2 years left to pay all those billions of pounds of green taxes to our Governments because that's the only thing they say will save us.

Quick! Quick! Run the fuck around now!

Yeah right.

*I reckon more people have died just because they HAVE bought a Prius.
Take this example for instance ..... death by 13amp plug ;-)

Earthquakes Blamed On Global Warming

What's worse?

Bad science or gullible media?

Perhaps you missed this one?

I certainly did the first time around.

The story is from two years ago, but in the wake of Climategate and other recent revelations probably more relevant than ever. And it is important to be reminded of such stunning examples of idiocy, blindly reported by a perpetually pliant media:

It concerns the "research" of one "Dr." Tom Chalko. He claims that "global warming" is causing the frequency and intensity of earthquakes to increase at an alarming rate. His "findings" were reported uncritically, by amongst others, CBS news. One of the key pieces of evidence given is the following:

“NASA measurements from space confirm that Earth as a whole absorbs at least 0.85 Megawatt per square kilometer more energy from the Sun than it is able to radiate back to space. This 'thermal imbalance' means that heat generated in the planetary interior cannot escape and that the planetary interior must overheat.”

And the "NASA" source for this orginal claim? Why our old friend - climate alarmist and activist extraordinaire, James Hansen. Hansen's paper is only mildly less laughable than Chalko's, and if you can get past the first assumption packed paragraph, you will find he has failed to ask the same basic, first principles, kind of questions. Or more to the point - the uncritical media hacks that simply picked up the story and repeated it failed to do the same. It was apparently repeated also on Yahoo and MSNBC (links now, unfortunately, pulled). The story was killed with no official retraction. Yet the damage was done - the repetition of such things by the mainstream media gives them an air of credibility that lingers on in the popular psyche as can be seen with cases like Danny Glover on Haiti.

Both Chalko, and his "source", Hansen fail to ask why a positive energy balance on the earth in and of itself might be essential - and where that energy might go. If the Earth reflected back almost all the energy it received from the Sun, life as we know it on the planet would cease. Plants would have no energy to photosynthesise, winds would cease to blow, most organisms on the planet - reliant on an energy rich environment - would simply die. And that is before you consider how a teeny tiny increase in the Earth's surface temperature could possibly affect it's internal working.

Chalko has form though. He also thinks the Earth's core might explode as a result of global warming. Chalko draws his information from the USGS, but at the same time appears to have failed to read their FAQ, which alone debunks his entire thesis.

Alarmists at the time were crying that "denialists" might get hold of this and make them all look like idiots (mainly through the completely legitimate process of asking - so what other junk has been uncritically reported?) Indeed, one of the commenters at the linked blog says: "They'll point out that the story probably saw light because they attached "global warming" to it". Which is exactly the point. That is why it was reported and repeated uncritically. What other inchoate nonsense has been spewed out by these idiots?

But Chalko is just a lone nut right? And the journalists were just being lazy. This was surely just a one off example of credulous reporting. Those immersed more directly in science reporting wouldn't fall for such a thing, would they? Yep. Here's New Scientist joining in last year, this time reporting on an entire convention of scientists. You'll notice in the New Scientist article, we have the familiar alarmist hedge. Apparently both rising *and* lowering sea level can increase vulcanism. It's become well established now that not only does invoking "global warming" guarantee uncritical headlines, it also guarantees funding, especially if you can't provide any testable predictions...

Guest post by Katabasis

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I'm A Siren Voice Miliband . . .

. . . and I say fuck off you warmist cunt.

data source

Act on Co2 : It's all just an act

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Global Warming The REAL Bedtime Story

via The Big Yin @ freedom2choose


Act On Co2 : It's all just an act

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National Domestic Extremism Team

Who or what the fuck is that? I hear you ask.

This from WUWT:

This morning I contacted Norfolk Constabulary with a view to finding out if they had yet ascertained whether the breach at the Climatic Research Unit was a leak or a hack. I have just received a response which is frankly amazing:

 Norfolk Constabulary continues its investigations into criminal offences in relation to a data breach at the University of East Anglia. During the enquiry officers have been working in liaison with the Office of the Information Commissioner and with officers from the National Domestic Extremism Team. The UEA continues to co-operate with the enquiry however major investigations of this nature are of necessity very detailed and as a consequence can take time to reach a conclusion. It would be inappropriate to comment further at this stage.

So there you have it then. If you are one of the growing number of MMGW deniers it appears that you are now also a dangerous extremist. Up there with terrorists and the like, according to the Mi5 website.

It gets worse.

If you go on to the National Domestic Extremism website, they proudly display an explanation of what constitutes 'domestic extremism':
"The terms are generally used to describe the activity, individuals or campaign groups that carry out criminal acts of direct action in furtherance of a campaign. These people and activities usually seek to prevent something from happening or to change legislation or domestic policy, but attempt to do so outside of the normal democratic process."

Well, pardon me for stating the fucking obvious but surely that is an unbelievably accurate description of the way the Labour Government conducts itself.

And then the website goes on to say:
"The tactics used by extremists vary and are always changing. Incidents have included public disorder offences, malicious letters and e-mails, blackmail, product contamination, damage to property and occasionally the use of improvised explosive devices. Domestic extremist campaigns rarely cause a danger to life, but in some cases the aim is to create a climate of fear."


Fuck me, there it was, right at the end of the paragraph . . . "climate of fear". Now is that relevant because the Government are trying to instill a climate of fear by promoting climate change in the hope that enough fear is generated to tax the fuck out of the plebs? Or do the Government just fear the climate change deniers?

Either way, an organisation that was originally set up to counter the activities of the animal rights activists, is now being put to a different use . . . . restricting the climate change deniers.

Fuck 'em!

Act On Co2. It's all just an act.

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Newsround CBBC MMGW Bias

It seems like the BBC aren't going to let the fact that the UK is in the grip of arctic weather conditions, stop them from keeping our kids on track with regard to global warming.

Following this excellent post from DB over at Biased BBC, I've managed to track down the actual clip of CBBC Newsround that proves you're never too young to be subjected to BBC bias.

Fucking incredible isn't it, how the Blatant Brainwashing Channel and the Met Office propaganda machine will stop at nothing to ensure that our children are kept 'on message', however contrived.

DB sums it up nicely:
Hope that helps to "clear up any confusion" kids. You see, we used to have snow and ice "every week", but because of global warming we get milder weather except when we get the same extreme weather we used to get before global warming. Or something. Anyway, never mind all that because it's been a bit hot in Australia and now it's a bit wet. You see, it's all global warming, children. Just promise you won't flick channels and watch all the news about record snowfalls in China and America, OK? That would be too much confusion to clear up in one programme.

Severe Weather Warning +++Updated+++

Following hot on the heels of the Met Office prediction for a barbecue summer came the equally inaccurate one for a mild winter. Mild winter? Mild fucking winter!

Fucking frozen Britain more like!

"The UK's official weather forecasters are determined that winters should be mild, in the face of the frozen facts", says Christopher Booker, "The reason the Met Office so persistently gets its seasonal forecasts wrong is that it has been hi-jacked from the role for which we pay it nearly £200 million a year, to become one of the world's major propaganda engines for the belief in man-made global warming. Over the past three years, it has become a laughing stock for forecasts which are invariably wrong in the same direction."

So, there you have it, the Met Office are more interested in brainwashing all the gullible dumbfucks, that infest our streets, into thinking that there really is such a thing as MMGW rather than doing what the fuck we pay the lying little lickspittles to do.

Forecast the fucking weather!

Perhaps if the Met Orifice had used the big fuck off computer for what it was really intended, the County Councils wouldn't be running out of bastard rock salt and twatting grit!

Incidentally, I must be in the wrong job. This cunt has just got a 25% pay rise for fucking up the fucking forecasts!

+++UPDATE 1+++

CBBC Newsround get together with the Met Office

+++UPDATE 2+++

Here's the latest pic of Microdave's, now famous, Fiat Panda updated with the latest Grumpy Old Twat stickers. Excellent work MD and many thanks for all your support ;-)

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Climate Change Deal Reaches A Climax

Things are cumming coming to a head in Copenhagen as Gordon Brown manages a last ditch push, on a gonad global warming agreement, with Barack Obama . . .

Three Biggest Lies Of All Time ++Updated++

In no particular order and unless you know any better of course ;-)

Please continue your excellent support for this campaign by adding one or two of these new images to the original ones you have so kindly posted on your blogs and forums.

And if this is the first time you have come across this campaign?
Just click on any image, to view the full sized artwork in a new window, and then you can download it from there. Simples.

Earlier images from the alternative Act On Co2 Advert Campaign

can be found HERE.

Images for non-sweary Hide The Decline adverts

can be found HERE.

The Act on Co2 Copenhagen Conference starts tomorrow (7th December) and lasts for a whole 12 bullshitting, carbon taxing days. Let's see if we can help address the balance a little by keeping up the publicity for climategate and hide the decline.

Keep spreading the word!

++++Update 7th December+++

Following a few excellent suggestions in the comments,

here's a couple more versions to add to the series.

Including a non-sweary version ;-)

Hat tips to Polaris and Dazed

Watch the video HERE