Politictionary© : A Brand New Political Game

I've just invented Politictionary© ... an exciting(?) and very simple game where I post a description of a political figure of note, which I have found within a blogpost or its comments, and you have to try and guess who it is. More than likely it'll be an unflattering but accurate quote (IMHO) about some fuckwit or other connected with politics but I'm sure you'll get the general idea.

Ok then, so here's my first offering:

"Simply put, he's a politically correct halfwit who doesn't know what he's letting himself in for. He'll ignore the warnings, scream "racist", and in 20 years time, when he's getting old, he'll suffer at the hands of those he defended against those who warned him."

So, who do you think it is then?

Yes, yes, I know ... you want the answer now and you can't be fucked to try and guess who it is ... in which case I might as well tell you now then ... I found the quote in amongst the comments here.

Hmmmm, on second thoughts Politictionary© isn't really that exciting is it and it's just too fucking simple for words when you can go straight to the answer without even having one single guess. In fact, the more I think about it ... the more I realise that Politictionary© is no more than a glorified 'Quote of the Day' kind of thing.

Oh well ... 'twas fun while it lasted.

Perhaps I should just stick to posting stuff like this then ....

... which Dr Unbewachter emailed in to me after spotting it on EBay recently?

*dunno*

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Mid-Term USA Election Results Live Blog

A night of high drama and humiliation is expected for the half black Kenyan fuckwit and his dickwipe Democrats ..... and we're going to bring it to you live here on GrumpyOldTwat.

The BBC has systematically ignored the failure of Hoax'n'Change, glossed over the rise of the Tea Party and dismissed the rise of small-government anti-Obama voices as 'kooks' and 'racists'. Tonight will see the BBC's runaway love-in coverage hit the buffers of the US electorate, and we're going to live-blog the humiliation as it unfolds.

We'll be starting at midnight (UK time), and joining in with the readers of Biased-BBC, A Tangled Web, AllSeeingEye and Barking Spider.

Crack open a bottle, or two, of your favourite tipple and join in the fun!

Mid-Term USA Election Results Live Blog Nov 2

A night of high drama and humiliation is expected, on Tuesday, for the half black Kenyan fuckwit and his dickwipe Democrats ..... and we're going to bring it to you live here on GrumpyOldTwat.

The BBC has systematically ignored the failure of Hoax'n'Change, glossed over the rise of the Tea Party and dismissed the rise of small-government anti-Obama voices as 'kooks' and 'racists'. Tuesday night will see the BBC's runaway love-in coverage hit the buffers of the US electorate, and we're going to live-blog the humiliation as it unfolds.

It'll be starting at midnight (UK time), and we'll be joining in with the readers of Biased-BBC, A Tangled Web, AllSeeingEye and Barking Spider.

Crack open a bottle, or two, of your favourite tipple and join in the fun!

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National Schools Film Week : Fail

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ed The Red Or Bananaman The Yellow?

Forest Gump or The Alien?

The "big" announcement is due in exactly one hour.

Will it be the one who looks like a rapist or the one who looks like he has Down's Syndrome? A nation waits with baited breath, and other oral disorders.

Victory by the younger irritating wonkish one would delight the BBC and others who think that freedom is overrated, and a triumph by the other one would dismay hair-dye manufacturers everywhere. Considering how skilfully they both dodged a big inheritance tax bill, accountants will be delighted whatever the result with all the extra business that bad publicity generates. Bring on the attack dogs!

You can cut the tension with...a..blunt cutty cunty thing.

Cross posted from HERE

I'm Speechless

No.

I really fucking am.

More Toejam From Toenails

"Many may bridle at his refusal to apologise for Iraq, to condemn David Cameron's planned cuts or to accept that the banking crisis has made the case for more government and more regulated markets."

More government!
More fucking government!

Did I miss something? Who the fuck has decided that we need that then ..... need I ask. You shameless, BBC biasing, lefty labour bum crack sucking, piece of shit.

Incidentally, talking of 'bum crack sucking' (all seems rather popular at the moment - urrgh) how about a caption or two for this rather apt picture of a 'double act', that I happened across ......

Back Soon

Apologies for the lack of blogging activity recently but I've had other more pressing issues that seem to have stolen my time of late. Abnormal service fuckwittery will soon be resumed but in the meantime here is a 'shopped picture of Tony Bliar and Jonah Brown that I did a while back and never got around to actually using.

Perhaps you could come up with a caption or two or just take this opportunity to rip this pair of UK fucking, duplicitous, book writing, New Labour dickwipes a new arsehole or two ;-)

Open Letter To Raoul Thomas Moat

Dear Mr Moat

Just wanted to let you know that I have seen your ex-girlfriend shagging:
Lenny Henry
David Miliband
Wayne Rooney
Vernon Kay
Ed Balls
Billy Bragg
Claire Balding
and that twat off the Go Compare adverts.

Also please note that traffic wardens and PCSOs
are very similar to policemen.

Kind regards
The Grumpy Old Twat

ps Douglas Hogg wants to know if he can claim you on his expenses.

Any Final Words For Gordon . . .

. . . before I start on Dave Cleggeron and Nick Camerlegg who are currently involved in a 'let's-see-if-we-can-grow-a-pair-between-us' love in. There's got to be a caption or two in this picture somewhere..... Snotty, the wicked witch, two little boys (fnarr) plus Balls, bad Al and Lordy Bumcheeks who are clapping and gurning like the fuckwit fucktards that they all are, until the bitter end ......

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Rare Unbiased Edition of BBC News

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Gordon Brown Begs Clegg In Downing Street Speech

click pic to see Gordon Brown's speech notes

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Leaders' Wives Election Special

Samantha Cameron, Sarah Brown and Miriam Gonzalez Durantez star in this ELECTION SPECIAL pisstake which has clever "choose your own" endings... so that you can see what happens if Labour wins, the Tories win, the Lib Dems win (yeah right, like that's gonna fucking happen) or if it's a Hung Parliament.

My favourite ending has got to be the Tory one where Sam Cam tells the other wives to 'fuck off'. No. Really.

Thanks to Isabel Fay, from Clever Pie,  for sending this in.

She's the one that plays Mrs Cleggover ;-)

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Ellie Gellard And Other News

Having launched the Labour Party General Election, Ellie Gellard demonstrates the technique she used to show the PM she was " the girl for the job".

" I like to get it done right first time" she said.

via The Last Of The Few

Your Support Is Needed

As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in emails, BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 20 million people.

We don't want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on. Please keep it going!

To show your support for Gordon Brown please go to the end of the list and add your name.


1. Sarah Brown.
2.

via Ampers

Gordon Grabs A Granny

Gordon Brown and his wife Sarah are caught dragging 82 year old Alice Thompson off to a "Labour Voter Holding Centre", after she let slip that she thought Gordon was wonderful. Every vote counts!

via MicroDave

Anagram Of The Day

Election Results  =  Lies Lets Recount

via Joe Public

Icelandic Volcano

Thank fuck for that.
At least it means that the Election is no longer at the top of all the news bulletins but I shall be watching the first debate tonight. Willing Gordon, with every ounce of vin rouge in my veins, to make a complete twat of himself on live TV. One of those hideously false smiles should do the trick ;-)

Incidentally, I heard some twat on the radio today, gleefully announcing that 100,000 tons of CO2 had been saved from the atmosphere, due to all the cancelled air traffic.

So how fucking much CO2 does he think is spewing out of that volcano then?

Twat!
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Respect

"They called me a filthy Kaffir" said Galloway,
"and shouted that no one should shake the 'filthy Kaffir's hand"

Oh the sweet irony

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Kettle Pot Black

Gordon 'bully boy' Brown has unleashed yet another one of his 4-letter tirades. This time it was aimed at Baroness Ashton during a telephone conversation in which he accused her of (wait for it) 'letting the UK down'.

Fuck me! Why don't you take a mono eyed squint at yourself Gordon, you unelected, cash trousering, smacked-in-the-face-with-a-big-fuck-off-ugly-stick, prancing around the world stage at every given opportunity, fuckwit.

What's the matter then Gordon?
Lord Fondlebum of Felchboys refusing to play 'Keep the Red Rag Flying' on your pink oboe because you didn't give the EU job to him?

Lovers' tiff?
Ahhh, diddums

Incidentally, all 3 of the fuckers may look like a cunt but they wouldn't have a fucking clue how to use one ;-)

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Be Stupid. Vote Labour.

Following on from my original 'Be Stupid' post,

here are a couple more offerings to add to the collection . . .

The first seven posters can be found here.

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Be Stupid

Time for a new ad campaign, based on the excellent new

'Be Stupid' series from Diesel.

Just too good an opportunity to miss, dontcha think ;-)

If you fancy having a go with a few slogans
of your own, just let me know in the comments
and I'll add the best ones to the post.

+++UPDATE+++
Additional posters can be found here


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The Perils Of Alcohol

Sometimes I wonder what we pay the BBC for. We never hear about this sort of stuff. Or does it just happen in Sweden?

We've all done it...a few quick drinks after work in Umeå and then you wake up the morning after with a six inch cock tattooed on your leg.


After hitting one of the town's nightspots, our group of fuckwits headed for a hamburger joint where the lad Joel waxed lyrical about a tattoo of a moustache on a friend's finger. Pissed and stupid, he announced to all present that he too wanted a drunken tattoo. But the next booth was occupied by a tattoo artist, who offered to do it if given free rein to express himself. Which he did.

Joel said he was initially worried what his mother would think, adding that he did not bathe in public at all this summer. No shit.

At least he wasn't arrested. A couple of weeks ago, also in Sweden, a trucker overturned his lorry whilst high on drugs and furiously wanking. The brilliant bit is that he carried on pulling his cock during the police interrogation and so was charged with sexual molestation as well.

Come back #SillyWeek, all is forgiven.

All Fools Day