The Euro Isn't Working

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Saturday Night Karaoke

Still incandescent with rage after yesterday's post and haven't been able to think about much else, to be honest, despite downing a few bottles of the red calming fluid. So, I thought, how about a bit of Saturday night karaoke ... that should soothe the Grumpy Old Twat a little ......

Well, the phone rang, I answered it, ticked like crazy, then thought why not record Rick Astley's classic track, Never Gonna Give You Up"

The Main Meal

Tic of the hat to Microdave ;-)

Jacqui Smith Says Fuck Off

The Rancid Rasher from Redditch was heard to tell reporters to "fuck off" after they discovered that she had applied for one of the top jobs at the BBC Trust.

I wonder how her constituents would feel about her getting paid £77,000 a year for two-and-half days work a week plus all the expenses she can handle. Bearing in mind that the taxpayer already pays her more than £65,000 a year for a full week's work, plus expenses, for her local MP duties.

No. You. Fuck. Off. Jacqui.
And take that tax payer funded porn film wanker of a husband with you.
Beard or no fucking beard.

Pair of freeloading cunts.

Gordon The Penitent Sinner

Back in a former life, when I used to write the odd headline or two, I used to pray (ouch) for a picture like this to come along :

It made the job so much easier and so much fun. Set the pun-o-meter to max and fill yer fucking boots, the possibilities for mockery are endless. The above pic appeared today on the front page of The Sun and in the accompanying article, about who's going to replace the unelected knob jockey, they've certainly gone to town on the puns.

Thy will be gone, oh Gord, altar ego, praying for a miracle, etc.etc,

However, on this occasion I've decided to give the puns a miss (thank fuck for that I hear you say) and I fired up the photoshop cuntshop instead because I suddenly remembered another photo of a stained glass window that's been doing the rounds lately ......

There.
That's better ;-)

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Who Lives In A House Like This?

Let me give you a few clues.

He is forever ranting on the internet about people who receive benefits - despite the fact that his family are in receipt of Incapacity Benefit, Disability Living Allowance, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit and Child Tax Credit.

His disability is the result of years of steroid abuse.

He's U.A.F., New Labour, a Tory, an English Democrat, a blogger, an ex BNP activist and, just for good measure, this grown man poses as a fifteen year old on a teenage chat forum.

If you think that lot is unbelievable . . . . . how about the fact that he's been a British patriot, then a Communist, then a Muslim and now he's a Jew.

Have you got it yet?

Confused Dot Com has got nothing on this fucking nutter.

The Budget Song

It's amazing how you can still try to be smart,
Thanks to you our economy's fallen apart,
This Budget Day you have done it again,
Talked a lot but you don't say a thing,

CHORUS:
You're all a disgrace, and you've mortgaged the country,
All your figures are lies, and you've wasted our money,
In thirteen long years you've delivered precisely sod-all,
We've masses of debt,
and you've done nothing at all.

Courtesy of Dungeekin
who has the rest of the revised lyrics here ;-)


Many thanks to all those that took part in the Budget Live Blog. Hope you all enjoyed it and any feedback you have would be welcome in the comments here ;-)
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Darling's Vote Winning Budget ++Updated++

Yeah right.
More like Bully Boy Brown's desperate attempt to try and buy a few more votes without giving a flying fuck for the long term future of this Country.

The only good thing about today?
It REALLY is Darling's last budget.

So, good fucking riddance, you bushy eye browed, fiscal fucking bastard. You shot in the dark, clutching at straws, Chancer of the BouncedChequer from the Twattery. You baffoon of an unelected Gordoom Brownfinger's mouthpiece.

Fuck off and fill the expense fiddling, sleaze ridden black hole of a fucked-in-the-arse British economy, from the tax-payer-cash laden bank accounts that all you fucking arsewipes at NuLabore have got.

And keep your fucking tax hungry mitts off the red wine. . . .

Don't forget to come and have your say.....
Live chat during the Budget,
here at 12.15pm


+++UPDATE+++
Following a request from Uncle Marvo, in the comments,
Lorenzo has been busy with the photoshop ;-)

Mann Overboard

Fuck me!
We finally have an MP who is prepared to step up to the plate and insist that the blogosphere should tell the truth.... or he'll take us to court if we don't.

All hail John Mann.....

click to enlarge

Incidentally, a man in a stringed vest has a photoshopped version of the above letter, if you are at all interested ;-)

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Paul Flynn Handshake Assault ++Update++

Paul Flynn, Labour MP for Newport West, says people who administer bone-crushing hand-shakes to prove the strength of their personalities should be charged with assault.

What the fuck!

Speaking spewing out the usual inane bollocks on his blog post today, he also stated that shaking hands was getting less popular. A bit like you then Paul, you worthless piece of shit. Now if you think that's a bit harsh then I suggest you pop over to Fido's place, who lives in the withering wankstain's constituency, amongst other things he ain't too fucking chuffed about all the expenses that fuckwit Flynn has been pissing up the wall.

"Good riddance," Flynn the fucktard continues, "They are unnecessary, unhygienic, germ-spreading intrusions. Again, a bit like you and any other corrupt, cash troughing MP then Mr Flynn.

Finally the weak wristed wanker announces "Who will be the first person to be charged with assault by handshake?" Who gives a fuck! I'm more interested in which MP is going to be the first person to be charged with assaulting tax payers money.

Btw, Flynn, if I ever have the pleasure to meet you, it's not your hands you will need to worry about when we 'shake' . . .  it'll be your scrawny little champagne swilling neck.

Limp wristed wanker.

++UPDATE++

I thought it might be appropriate to leave a comment on Mr Flynn's blog post, and here is a screen grab of it . . .

Ten minutes later it had gone.

So it looks like 'Huw The Deletinator' has been up to his old tricks. Oh and he's changed the title of the original blog post and made subtle alterations to the comment.

You couldn't fucking make it up ;-)

++UPDATE 2++

So I posted another comment . . .

. . . and of course that was deleted too. Then, rather predictably, this comment from Paul Flynn MP appears . . . 

Run for cover, the slack jawed peasants are revolting!

Oh, and notice the timestamp for Flynn's comment. Hmmm, strange then that it wasn't there when I left my comment at 10.14pm.

No, surely not. He wouldn't, would he?

MP's.
Dontcha just fuckin' luv 'em ;-)



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Prime Minister To Be Outsourced

Following hot on the heels of the recent news about Obama it appears, as with almost all trends, that the UK is about to follow suit. This report from the Times Online website. . .

click image to enlarge

Special thanks to MicroDave
for the excellent copywriting ;-)

Important Winter Driving Advice

Be careful if you go out driving today.

Driving conditions are extremely hazardous, most of the roads still haven't be gritted, making it difficult to keep your vehicle pointing in the right direction. I even went off the road in my 4x4 today, whilst I was on the way into town, and I ended up running over my local MP.

It took me ten minutes of hard driving, across two fields, and a private golf course but I got the corrupt, thieving, fat fucker in the end ;-)





Incidentally, and totally O/T, it's time to update your blogrolls.
She's back . . . . and about fucking time too ;-)

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Gordon Brown Denies Failing Eyesight . . .

. . . after he mistakingly tries to shake hands with a Merlin Helicopter,
instead of President Karzai, on his arrival in Afghanistan.

Cherie Blair Gets Fucked

Rik Mayall reprises his role as Alan B'stard MP in one of my all time favourite pieces of video mockery. Knowing Rik, as I do, just makes the whole fucking thing (pun intended) even funnier. If you have never seen this before you're in for a treat. A classic piece by Alison Jackson.

Robin Hood Banker Avoids Jail

Fucking brilliant!

A German bank manager has been given a suspended sentence after being found guilty of taking money from the accounts of rich clients and giving it to the poorer ones.

Fair result, I would say.

Robin Hood banker, very good!
Robin Blind wanker, very fucking bad . . . .

I'm A Wanker #3

Gordon Brown is a wanker

and here is yet another reason why.

Here are some more wankers

I'm A Wanker #2

Alan Johnson is a wanker

and here is a post about his latest wankstain.

Here are some more wankers

I'm A Wanker #1

Peter Mandelson is a wanker

and so is this bloke

Gordon Brown Dance Floor Diva

Gordon and his jive arsed mother fuckers

as you've never seen them before . . . .

Courtesy of Mr Gordon Brown

Wankergate 2

Wankergate