England Played A Blinder

Schools Low Carbon Day +++Updated+++

Just a reminder that it's Schools Low Carbon Day today brought to you by those nice kiddy brainwashers via a 'fake charity' called, Cool The World. When I say 'fake' I mean that we have been unable to find any evidence that the 'charity' is official, despite searching for them here and also banging in a few FOI's to the relevant local authorities. In fact they even seem to be absent from the list of fake charities. What the fuck!

However, we did managed to find that the woman behind all this is an owner of an online garden centre. Check out the advert in the top left sidebar of the website. Yes! That's the one, right next to the piccy of a great big, fuck off sized, outdoor patio heater .... one of several models that they appear to be selling. What the fuck! Hypocrisy? No, surely not.

So ..... if your kids are unlucky enough, to be amongst the 600,000 attending one of the 1600 schools that have signed up to this shit, then they can expect Act On Co2 action-a-plenty today as their little brains are gently washed in a solution of guilt and green taxes.

Just a thought but it might be worth re-considering which school you give you all those 'schools vouchers' to (that you collected at the local supermarket) before you actually hand them over ;-)

And another thing ..... after yesterday's lack of lessons, this also means that there'll be yet another day, where the children of this country will be attending school, without any danger of actually being properly educated.

Just look at my young cousin's school timetable for this week:

Monday:
Teacher Training (stay at home)
Tuesday:
Diversity and Sharia Law in the morning and how the budget affects you, in the afternoon. With particular emphasis on cigarette, alcohol and green taxes.
Wednesday:
Talk about the England match all morning, watch it all afternoon
Thursday:
Low Carbon Day: Make windmills out of papier mache and harness fart gas in old jam jars, for use as a renewable energy source. Tree hugging in the afternoon, if it's a nice day.
Friday:
History: WWII, the Germans and how a game of football, in WWI no man's land, relates to a match being played in the World Cup on Sunday.

What the fuck!

At this rate it's going to take another 13 years to eradicate the Broken Britain legacy of 13 years of New Labour breaking Britain and, more importantly, finally get the education of this country's future back on track.

*sigh*



+++UPDATE+++

It appears that the main subjects of this post are avid readers of this blog.

It could be a coincidence, I suppose, but the intro on the Cool The World "fake charity" website has now been altered to read "Voluntary organisation with charitable status" :

Hmmm, that's strange, I could have sworn that Cool The World originally stated they were a "registered charity". Oh yes ...... good old Google cache appears to confirm that a recent adjustment has been made. Here's how it looked originally:

A subsequent call to the HMRC charity helpline, unsurprisingly, yielded little information although she did say that they didn't have any records of them, but there may be an application in the system.

Yeah, Right!

England Closes For A World Cup Match

Schools across the country are all set to finish lessons early and businesses everywhere will be shutting down the machines and closing offices, well before the end of the normal working day.

And for what.

A buggery bollocksy football match of bugger all twat significance to anyone except the half soaked, thick as shit, self centered, arrogant, talentless, over paid, gobby, arsewipes who will be running around the pitch like headless chickens in the dark ... who are only worried about losing the squillions of pounds of sponsorship money that'll be wiped off their bank balance, if they don't win.

Not because they are bursting with pride and not because they give a fuck about their country. Have you seen those retards when the National Anthem is playing? They can't even be fucking bothered to stick out their chests and sing for all they are worth.

The economy is fucked, money is tight, jobs are at at premium. Oh, I know, let's shut the country for a football match that we haven't got a hope of winning. What a fucking joke.

I could kind of understand if we'd struggled through to a final or some such shit but we haven't. It's just a fucking 'see-if-we-can-scrape-through' 'cos we're twatting well talentless, kind of game.

Get back to school. Get back to work. Get a fucking life.

Incidentally, if you were in any doubt about how retarded some of the England Football Team really are .... take a look at the following video of that scouse cunt bubble, Jamie Carragher. Apparently he's 'been in a relationship' with Andy Burnham for some while now (what the fuck!) and can't wait for him to be Prime Minister.

Is that before or after you've had his babies, Jamie?

Give me fucking strength .....

More Blog Changes

I've been fucking around with the template again, but before anybody starts going off on one, this time it'll be possible for you to take a look at the changes before they actually go live.

You can check out the proposed new update here
and then let me know what you think in the comments.

Can't say fairer than that now, can I ;-)

World Cup Wankers

It's no fucking wonder that the likes of monkey boy Rooney, and the rest of his over paid, under talented England team mates, don't give a flying fuck about whether they win the World Cup or not. Have you seen how much that hairy arsed baboon gets paid?

Per week he gets around £100,000 'playing' for his club, £200,000 for image rights (whatever the fuck that means), £20,000 from Nike, £4,000 from EA computer games and another £3,000 from Coca Cola. That's a grand total of £327,000 a week ..... for an hour and half's work, poncing around on a field, swearing at the referee, teaching young kids to grow up as same-self arrogant arseholes and to occasionally kick a bag full of air between two white sticks.

Oh, and for good measure that dumb fuck of a checkout bint Coleen, that he's married to, got over £40,000 a month for 'writing' a column in OK magazine and a further £13,000 every time she appeared on some ITV bollocksy 2, mind numbing televisual delight called Real Women.

Don't get me wrong, good luck to anyone that can get such an obscene amount of dosh, for donkeying around on a patch of grass with the arrogant fuck you attitude of a politician, but where's the fucking incentive for representing your Country of birth and for wearing the England football team shirt with pride.

And multi millionaire, beardy weirdy monkey boy wonders why the fuck he gets booed by people who have paid thousands of pounds of their hard earned cash, to show support for their country, only to be rewarded with  a lack lustre, talentless, no bang for the buck, passionless, piss poor performance like that.

Multiply that by 11 or so and throw in an 'I'm only in it in for the money' irate I-tie and it's no fucking wonder that the England Team will all be coming home on Thursday. Incidentally, don't forget that there is another reason we were doomed to failure before the tournament even started.

Thank goodness my interest lies with cricket, and not football, because those boys play with a real passion .... that's why they won the T20 World Cup recently, with ease, even though it wasn't easy. That's because they played with passion and pride .... and they worked damn fucking hard at it.

Good lads!

+++UPDATE+++

Here's a topical Toy Story 3 take on the intellectual talents of Wayne 'half baked' Rooney, courtesy of that truely talented chap Lakey .......

Warning! New Computer Virus

However, it's not all bad news though ;-)

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BBC Give Your Licence Fee A Lift

Let's refresh our memory with a quote from the BBC TV Licence Fee website:
Spending your licence fee
"Most of the new savings will come from being smarter and sharper about how we run the BBC. The savings we generate are being reinvested in high-quality content and new technology for the future."


Now, you probaly already know my feelings about the 2010 World Cup following a recent subtle hint but even so....... what the fucketty fuck is this then:

It's the BBC Football World Cup Studio and it's cost the licence fee payer over a million quid to perch that fucking flat pack box on top of a hospital in Cape Town. All of the BBC live studio coverage will be based there even though most major matches, including the final, are being played 1,000 miles away in Johannesburg.

What the fuck!

And the best bit?

In addition, the BBC have pissed thousands of pounds more, up the wall, because they've especially installed a lift so that their 'star' presenters don't have to climb an extra 3 flights of stairs. Yes that's right, cosseted  thick as shit windbags commentators such as Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer, Alan Hansen and Lee Dixon will be using the purpose built penthouse suite lift so that they don't have to mix with the general public riff raff who will be using the stairs.

Then there's the 295 wankers staff they are sending out there for 6 weeks, double that of ITV, and they've even bastard well shipped over an open-top bus to use for *sings* we're all going on a ... summer holiday etc outside broadcasts. Oh, and let's not forget the block booking for 45 key staff at Cape Town’s Mandela Rhodes Place hotel, where rooms cost up to £500 a night!

I'd say that statement at the top of this post isn't worth the fucking keyboard it was typed on. Come on Cameron, sort this fucking useless bunch of cash haemorrhaging bum fuckers out once and for all.

Scrap the Licence Fee now!

That is what you said you'd do isn't it?

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I've Seen A Man With A Small Penis Today

A Professor has found, after extensive research, that there are two sizes of penis among English men. There are those that fall within the normal range and those which are less than two inches when erect.

The Professor has appealed for help to continue his research. So could all men in England, with extremely small penises, make themselves known over the next six weeks by flying a white flag with a red cross on it from the windows of their vehicles.

I thank you.


Oh, and while we're on the subject have you heard the wall to wall coverage on the radio today about this twat being ruled out of the tournament. No loss. Who needs an overpaid fucking 'bash street kid looky-likey' dinosaur dragging themselves around the pitch with the charisma of Gordon Brown, anyway.

Listen to me, for fuck's sake. I'm beginning to sound like I give a fuck about the World Cup. I hate bastard football and all it's over paid pre-madonna fucktards.

Fuck me, it's still 10 days away and the pundits are already wetting themselves over the slightest mention of it. Christ knows what it'll be like when it actually starts. Fucking sick of it and it's not like we're going to win anyway . . . .  not after this incident, eh.

John Terry Injury ++Exclusive Photo++

England defender John Terry's participation in Saturday's FA Cup Final, and the World Cup, could be in jeopardy after the Chelsea captain suffered an injury to his right foot during training. Exclusive pic taken by a WAG who was watching at the time......

Ouch! That's going to sting a bit

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England 2010 World Cup Song

Following the cock waving antics of the England Football Team Captain John Terry, Fabio Capello has finally settled on a suitable World Cup song for the upcoming FIFA tournament in South Africa. It's actually a slightly re-worded version of the original Frank Skinner, David Baddiel and Lightning Seeds classic . . .

He's cumming home
He's cumming home
He's cumming
Terry's on the bone
x4

Three lays on the shirt
Terry's knob still gleaming
30 Years of hurt
Never stoppped him creaming

The official England Team shirt manufactures Umbro, a subsidiary of Nike, have denied speculation that they will be including the famous slogan "Just Do It" on the new World Cup shirts. However, they have confirmed a re-design of the England Team shirt badge to reflect the lyrics of the new England World Cup song . . . .

Hat tip to The Lakelander

for the image and the inspiration

Other news from the world of sport:

Andy Murray has today confirmed that he is Scottish.

Not British, just like Gordon Brown.

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