Question of the Week

What the hell goes through the tiny minds of some parents when they decide to give their children ridiculous birth names? I thought calling your offspring Tangerine or Boat or Asmatik or Virgin was fucking horrendous enough but can you possibly imagine how bad life would be, being burdened with a name like ..... Two Faced Bastard Liar, for the rest of your natural days.

Nine separate sets of parents, that I know of, have done just that.

What the fuck!

Seriously though, isn't that grounds for child cruelty or some such shit?

Cabinet Reshuffle

Lock and load!

Due to the fact that you've already taken out Nick 'Toenails' Robinson because he's given you a complete head fuck, after only half a day of his Labour luvvy election hustings anal antics . . . you only have five left up the pipe.

So who's it going to be and in what order?

The Grumpy Old Twat choice for the virtual Cabinet Reshuffle would be:

1. Gordon 'Bully Boy' Brown.
2. Peter 'Fondleboys' Mandelson
3. Harriet 'Duo Balls' Harman
4. Ed 'Bollock Brain' Balls
5. Jack 'The Ripper' Straw.

What would yours be?

Go on. You know you want to ;-)

.

British Airways Blocked

BA on strike?

So fucking what, get used to it.

If 30% or so of the electorate continue to act like complete fuckwits and insist on voting for another five years of Gordon Brown, there'll be plenty more strikes to come. The nappy wearing, mucus munching, prostate fingering, pill popping, prime mentalist won't be happy until he has completely starved this country of the very 'air' that it needs to breathe.

.

Kettle Pot Black

Gordon 'bully boy' Brown has unleashed yet another one of his 4-letter tirades. This time it was aimed at Baroness Ashton during a telephone conversation in which he accused her of (wait for it) 'letting the UK down'.

Fuck me! Why don't you take a mono eyed squint at yourself Gordon, you unelected, cash trousering, smacked-in-the-face-with-a-big-fuck-off-ugly-stick, prancing around the world stage at every given opportunity, fuckwit.

What's the matter then Gordon?
Lord Fondlebum of Felchboys refusing to play 'Keep the Red Rag Flying' on your pink oboe because you didn't give the EU job to him?

Lovers' tiff?
Ahhh, diddums

Incidentally, all 3 of the fuckers may look like a cunt but they wouldn't have a fucking clue how to use one ;-)

.

Grumpy Old Twat Doesn't Do . . .

. . . Christmas wrapping paper (celebrity or otherwise) but if he did . . .

Hide the decline by Phil Jones

Troughligate by The 646

Not until the bitter end by New Labour

X Factor fucktards by Jedward

Has she got a willy? by Lady Gaga

Global reputation by Gordon Brown

Grumpy Old Twat christmas wrapping paper . . .

. . . probably the best tasteless christmas wrapping paper in the world ;-)

.

Happy Birthday But No Cigar Yet

Just realised that GrumpyOldTwat is one year old today.

My grateful thanks to the many thousands of you who have read this shit, reposted this shit, followed this shit, left comments on this shit, generally supported and encouraged me to produce this shit and sent emails to me about this shit. Much appreciated.

So, to commiserate (no celebrations until Gordon has fucked the fuck off) I will endulge myself by reposting a few of my favourite piss taking videos . . .

Strictly Come Gordon - YouTube Cunt


No BBC News
by GrumpyOldTwat

Fuck You Gordon Brown
by GrumpyOldTwat




Many thanks to the ever inspirational David
for his Gordon Arse pic at the top of the post.
Cheers mate ;-)

Sun Withdraws Labour Support ++Update++

After 12 long years in power,

this Government has lost its way.

Now it's lost The Sun's support too

Gordon Brown Unbelievable

I've been taking a look through my seditious back catalogue of Government mockery and have decided to re-post some of them, with the odd update here and there, during the last two days of Silly Week . . . .

Gordon Brown Unbelievable
by GrumpyOldTwat

If you have a request to see any particular image from my old pisstakes updated then let me know in the comments and I'll see what I can do ;-)

BBC News Unbiased Edition

Many of you out there already know how biased the BBC are in relation to Gordon Brown and his New Labour cronies. BBC News, in particular, is one of the main culprits so I have spent many hours scouring the New Labour censored YouTube in an effort to collate all the unbiased coverage that has slipped through the net.

The result is this compilation of various clips of BBC News programmes which have had all the NuLiebore spin and propaganda removed.

Sit back and enjoy the BBC News and Weather Unbiased edition . . .  

No BBC News
Uploaded by GrumpyOldTwat - Watch the latest news videos.

Stupid Boy!

Captain Gordon 'McSnot' Brown is in his bunker again.

"Don't Panic, don't panic!" says Jonsey.

"DO PANIC, DO PANIC!", say I, fuck me do we need to panic!

We are all doomed, fucked by Captain Brown and his battalion of brainless dickwads together with his equally indefensible strategies, old has beens and young, arrogant arsewipes.

Who do they think they are kidding?

Not me, that's for fucking sure.

Firing squad anyone?

image by Lorenzo

Labour, Freedom To Choose

click pic to enlarge

Hat tip to Shibby for the inspiration

New YouTube Logos

YouTube don't have their own thought police scouring their channels, it's solely down to a New Labour quango that runs around "flagging" anything that they don't like.

Well feast your eyes on this lot then, you freedom fucking "flagging" fucktards!

Oh, and don't worry Gordon, this isn't all of them.

Plenty more where this came from.

Enjoy!

Incidentally, Gordon, the "flagging" fuckwits that banned  my video might be interested to know that it is now back up on YouTube again. Now the question is, can your queer arsed cock sucking quango cunts find it and ban it again before it's found it's way even further around the internet than it already is?

Oh, don't you just love the power of the blogosphere Gordon?

Jog on, you freedom fucking YouTube cunt!

New YouTube Logo

++++++ COMING SOON ++++++

A series of new YouTube logos

will be published on this site tonight.

If you catch my drift?

Gordon Contemplates His Options

Labour Spin TV To Cost More

Labour MP's have voted against the Tory proposal

to freeze the BBC Licence Fee.

It will now rise by another £3.

Two quotes from Sir Michael Lyons,

the head of the BBC Trust, says it all really . . . 

"The Tory plan was a recipe for

curbing the editorial independence of the BBC".

"It is very important that the BBC's horizons do not become

too closely entwined with the political cycle"

G.O.T. rests his case.

Let US Prey

Following a request in the comments over at Guido's, I've given Gordon a halo. It might not be the type of halo that the unelected Prime Minister would enjoy but I think that it rather suits him.

Sorry, couldn't find any piano wire but I hope that rope will do.

+++Update+++

Dungeekin has a theory why materials are in short supply!

Fuck The Fuck Off

It appears that I have been tagged by the Old Bag (thanks for fucking nothing) to tell you about the 8 things that I hate and because this is my 200th post (whoopee fucking doo so fucking what) I thought that I would do something a little bit different.

So I present the 8 Little Miss and Mr Men that I don't fucking care for much and that I'd wish would just fuck the fuck off.  Any inference to an individual 'troughlitician' or any group of the troughing tossers, is purely fucking deliberate . . . . .

Swine Flu Information

What is swine flu?

Swine flu is a troughing disease that infects NuLabore pigs and is caused by a corrupt virus. There are regular outbreaks of swine flu in NuLabore pigs, who become mentally ill but rarely die from the virus itself. Swine flu does not normally infect civil servants although this does occasionally happen when they have had close contact with NuLabore pigs.

There is evidence that swine flu is spreading from Minister to Minister, which could lead to what is called a 'pianodemic flu outbreak'. Pianodemic flu is different from ordinary flu because it is a new strain of the virus that pisses off the taxpaye, so much so, that they eventually string up NuLabore pigs with piano wire, from the nearest lampost.

The symptoms

Typical signs that a troughing NuLabore pig has been infected by swine flu will usually include all of the following  :

Possession  of a 2nd or 3rd pigsty

Sow/boar and 1 or more piglets employed to do nothing

Weight gain from trough snouting

Smearing shit on innocent victims

Delusions of grandeur and rampant arrogance

Repeatedly pissing tax payers money up the wall

Subscription to Totalitarian Monthly magazine

Who is a risk?

Anyone that works for the bog eyed, mucus munching, turd burglaring, amoeba brained, KFC gut bucketing twat that has fucked this Country so hard in the arse that we'll need to wrap it in duck tape to stop it splitting.

So remember, if you are a good hard working taxpayer you will not die from swine flu but troughing NuLabore pigs infected with the corrupt virus are staring a pianodemic in the face.

The Stench Is Overwhelming

More Sleaze Stains

James Purnell, Minister for the dirty thieving workshy, is the latest cabinet minister to join the the sleaze ridden ranks of NuLabore expenses whores.

According to the Sunday Express James 'Pigsty' Purnell has claimed £1600 for cleaning his £1820 a month apartment but, on closer inspection, it seems that he has vacated his 2nd home without actually cleaning it!

Wine stains on the walls, grimy kitchen, dirty sink and damp patches on the filthy carpets were just some of evidence of neglect, according to the tax payer funded tenant's landlord.

James Purnell, Minister for the dirty thieving workshy.

Leading by example.

Twat!