If you've been watching Sky News or the BBC News Channel, over the last 24 hours or so, then you'd be forgiven for thinking that there was absolutely nothing else going on in the world ... apart from Prince William's engagement to Catherine Middleton.
The great and the good (?), and plenty who are neither, have been queuing up to give their opinions on the big announcement. Here's a small selection of the worst best :
The Queen : "Catherine the commoner! We are so not amused."
Prince Phillip : "Kate Moss was it? Bit old isn't she? Could do with a square meal too, the scrawny bitch. Christ! One would have to wrap her in duck tape on the wedding night ... in case she split."
Prime Minister David Cameron : "I received the news in a call from Buckingham Palace during a cabinet meeting and it was greeted with a great cheer as we suddenly realised that we'd be able to bury shit loads of bad news ... everyday for the next fortnight."
Gordon Brown: "I send them all my best wishes for a long and happy married life together. It'll be a great success!"
Prince Charles : "At Last! I'm obviously thrilled. They've been practising long enough! Many a time nanny has caught Willy practising after 'lights out' with a dog eared photo of Kate, posing topless on the freshers' bar at St. Andrews."
Lembit Opik : "I've had her!"
Herman Van Rompuy : "Great! Something else for the UK to waste taxpayers' money on. Perhaps that'll divert attention away from my UK taxpayer funded, EU gravy train for a while."
Iain Dale: On my LBC show tonight from 7 ..."
Red Ed Miliband: "Over-privileged toffee nosed twats!"
Prince Harry: "I am delighted that my brother has popped the question! It means I've gained a sister, with a ring like my mother's, who is not averse to a having a chopper land in her back garden ... which I have always wanted."
At the time of posting, pictures of Kate Middleton's ring were still unavavilable but I did manage to find one of the helicopter pilot's chopper .....
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| Prince William pictured with his chopper, earlier today |
24 comments:
She's look quite good in a trolley dolly kit!
Steady on here, Gotty, I married a helicopter pilot!
Nope, haven't watched telly for days but my first port of call this morning was the Telegraph site who beat you to it with the news Gotty. You'd think that it was ALL the fucking news, paper's plastered with it, almost drowning out the best news in weeks that Theresa May is binning Harmons equality bollox.
Still, saves me a quid as I won't be bothering to buy t'Telegraph print edition today.
Fuck the pair of them. For once, the French had the right idea. Sad thing is, people will actually give a shit about this pair of parasites.
I hope the congregation raised a Collective cheer....
Kate Middleton is the first person to squeeze into Di's ring since Dodi......
The other night Sky news had one of there reporters doing a piece to camera outside Buckingham Palace about the royal wedding (what else?). It was a dark coldish evening and nothing seemed to be happening at the palace, which begs the question, why was he there? I wish them well but I am sick already of seeing this momentous event being discussed on every news channel and on the front page of every newspaper. Can't they now just leave it to "hello" and "Ok" magazines to mull over the details for the next 8 months or so?
That's your knighthood bollocksed Gotty...
A couple of weeks ago there was reported disquiet at the palace that the Middletons might be exploiting their connection with the Royal family, and thus bringing them in to disrepute.
Is such a thing even possible?
O.T. :-D
Commons canteens 'served halal chicken'
Halal meat has been served in the House of Commons without MPs and staff being told, it emerged last night.
http://news.scotsman.com/news/Commons-canteens-39served-halal-chicken39.6628736.jp
O.T. :-D
Muslims against crusades (the muslim poppy burners) upload some strange videos on their youtube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/v/L48oD-rRWPk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="170" height="140
Since this seems to be the page for anything politically incorrect, here's some jokes a friend just sent me.......
<span>In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she sucks at snooker & darts
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Durban but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
A mate of mine has just told me he's screwing his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache"
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The FBI have discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives ....... Apparently prophets are going through the roof !!!
</span>
Since this seems to be the page for anything politically incorrect, here's some jokes a friend just sent me.......
<span>In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Problem was she sucks at snooker & darts
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Durban but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
A mate of mine has just told me he's screwing his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache"
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
The FBI have discovered how to weave Muslim prayer mats out of plastic explosives ....... Apparently prophets are going through the roof !!!
</span>
Doors to manual ... or is that flaps? ;)
Reporters doing an OB for no other reason than to do an OB with the location only having a vague connection to the actual news item - a big pet peeve of my partner.
Why do the weather forcast outside? So, you can tell what the weather's like where the weatherman/girl is but what about the rest of the county/country. Not much point except to make the cameraman's job difficult in bad weather.
Oi - Sixty.... someone wants a word.....
Oi - Sixty - someone wants a word.....
He's a big lad. Do you know him well?
He's a big lad. Do you know him well?
Yeah. The big poof. I told him the other day, "You're fuckin useless you are. Look at you. Face like a sack of spanners and a cauliflower arse you've been decked that many times. Take a tip lad, " I said, "Wise up and Fuck. Off." Don't know what he said of course, I'd put the phone down by then.....
Well with the unrelenting Is-fucking-lamic colonisation of Britain continuing at a alarming rate I just hope to fuck that kate Middleclass won't be forced to wear a full body Buqua and William sporting a full Taliban beard and muzzie rags and turbans by the time they get hitched!
While we are on the subject of Muzzie cunts, we the fuck do we have to pay OUR taxes only for them to be lavished upon a bunch of raghead Muzzie cunts that spent a while banged up in Guantanamo Bay prison camp? THEY ARE NOT EVEN "BRITISH" FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Would it not be far easier just to shoot the raghead Guptah cunts??
Your Anniversary will definitely be Cyclic then ...
Yawn....
Here's Kate getting some "Hands On" practice....
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