The world of cricket has been shocked by the revelations that one of the Pakistan Test Team is not bent as a 9 rupee note. Opening fast bowler Abu Googlie was reported not to have taken a bribe of £20,000 to bowl no balls in the final test match at Lords. Googlie (30) was offered the bribe by an undercover newspaper reporter who was posing as a Police Community Support Officer, as part of a “sting” at the team’s hotel. Unknown to Googlie, however, the conversation was being recorded. Googlie can be distinctly heard telling the PCSO to “fuck right off”.
Spokesman for the Pakistani Cricket Board, Osama Bin Laden, said that he was “shocked and appalled” by the allegations, which flew completely in the face of Pakistan’s long and honourable tradition of playing test cricket. Speaking from his cave, near Kandahar, Bin Laden (52) said “If this is true it’s appalling. How the hell is anyone going to be able to place a spread bet and make a few dishonest rupees if one of our players is found to be as honest as the day is long! This throws the whole reputation of Pakistani cricket into question.”
Meanwhile, following a long lunch of tofu, organic parsley, quails eggs and polenta, Labour Leadership candidate David Millipede (13 and three quarters) added his own comments. “It’s very sad but it’s a slow news day and I’ll jump on any bandwagon I can because I hate my fucking brother so much. He is a complete cunt, by the way.”
Those still wishing to collect donations for the Pakistan Flood Appeal should direct their inquiries to the rest of the Pakistani Cricket Team. They've got shit loads of cash to spare.
via our International Sports and Cricket Correspondent, Randy Hack