Friday 27 August 2010

Thank Fuck It's Friday [Part 8]

Have you noticed all that 'elf 'n' safety' bollocks that's on the back of a Marks & Spencer sandwich packet these days? By the time you've digested that fucking load of shite the 'Best Before' date will have expired. Then you'd have to throw the fucking sandwich away!

It's the rules .... it's 'elf 'n' safety', innit.

Twats!



Well at least we know what Ampers' taste in sandwiches is now ;-)

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19 comments:

Bring On The Revolution said...

I like the way the write "Vine ripened tomatoes" to make it sound much more expensive to try to justify charging you a rip-off price as well! "Not just any rip off, but an M&S rip-off" And worst of all their shit sandwiches don't even fucking fill you up, you're still fucking starving after eating it!! Most definitely fuck off nanny state!!!!

Your name here... said...

You read it?!!!

Ampers said...

@Bring on the revolution - M&S sandwiches that don't fill you up have a place. I like to eat one before I go on the beer, I hate beer when I am full ;)

Billy Blofeld said...

This symbol warning fat birds not to drink has been impinging on my joy of laying myself to waste using only the medium of beer on a Friday night.

Caratacus said...

Try to rule M+S sarnies out of my life altogether. Especially after I was offered one at a management meeting and observed (loudly) that there must be some mistake because mine looked like it had been eaten once already.

Nort wrang with a gude ole paaaastie, with a gert beg zprat thro' the middle of un.

Bring On The Revolution said...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306323/Number-immigrants-living-UK-long-term-soars-20-1-year.html

Changing the subject slightly, I was in a good mood this morning until I read the above link.......Fucking muzzie-loving, multi-fucking-cultural, diversity awareness bulshit Labour cunts!!!!

John Hillan Baker said...

And there's plenty of fake charities out there that want even more cuntin' stuff plastered over the most innocuous foodstuffs! Does my fucking eyes in even with my bifocals on stood out in the fucking sunshine on my balcony!

Just tucking in to four chinese style spare ribs (from Morrisons and no elf 'n' safety shit, and a glass or three of Good Spanish White (Valencia) so fuck 'em all.

(Bloody strong stuff this sherbet!)

Sean O'Hare said...

Hi GOT! Not sure exactly what you are objecting to here. Admittedly it is all the blurb is a bit long winded and as far as I remember M&S sandwiches are not good value.  As a coeliac I am rather pleased that they highlight the fact that the product contains gluten even if that is fucking obvious that it would as the bread doesn't have the appearance of gluten-free bread/cardboard. 

Joe Public said...

Cows' milk. They don't state whether it's GM or Natural?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/7966394/Farmer-who-bought-offspring-from-cloned-cattle-says-he-would-sell-milk-from-its-descendants.html

"A dairy farmer who sparked controversy after he bought the descendant of a cloned cow was sold has said that he would like to sell milk from its descendants as a premium product. "

Joe Public said...

I thought that was a pictogram of how Ms Preggers should wear a car seat belt.

Anonymous said...

<span>Hi GOT! Not sure exactly what you are objecting to here. Admittedly all the blurb is a bit long winded and as far as I remember M&S sandwiches are not good value.  As a coeliac I am rather pleased that they highlight the fact that the product contains gluten even if that is fucking obvious that it would as the bread doesn't have the appearance of gluten-free bread/cardboard</span>

Sean O'Hare said...

Sorry about the multi-posting.  I made a grammatical mistake, attempted to delete and repost.  Didn't work!

Bring On The Revolution said...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306655/Army-hero-lost-leg-Afghanistan-denied-disabled-parking-permit-council-bosses-better.html
And another example of the utter cuntishness of Councils up and down the country!!

Captain Haddock said...

Well said Caratacus ..

Such used to be sold back in the 1970's by a Fish & Chip shop directly opposite St Levan's Gate, Devonport Dockyard .. sold as a "Chief & PO's" ... they were fantastic in both taste and value ..

Happy days .. :)

Captain Haddock said...

Not one single word of that blurb relates to "Health & Safety" ...

Its all about CYA (Cover Your Arse) in case someone might possibly sue M&S for some obscure reason ...

Its legalistic bollocks ...

microdave said...

Talking of warnings, and <span>Covering Your Arse:</span>

Caratacus said...

If you mean the one next to "Soshe" Captain (Maritime Social to thee and me) it's long been buggered up into "Tastee Bites" or some such bollocks. We used to stagger back to Stonehouse via Cap'n Jaspers. Always managed to get the heart started he did (apply one eighteen year old and a set of jump-leads). Capital fellow!

Captain Haddock said...

Dunno about the "Soce" mate .. I never saw the Chippy in daylight .. let alone sober ..  ;)

In fact many's the time, all I could manage in said Chippie was ... ".. same as 'im, please" ..

Which invariably consisted of a "Chuffs & Puffs", a pint of milk & a bottle of "Corona" pop .. the Oggie & milk were consumed whilst weaving an erratic path through the Dockyard looking for HMS Intrepid (a fuck-off big, grey thing) only capable of being mislaid when one was totally "hand-carted" ..

Whilst the Corona went somewhere adjacent to one's bunk for the next morning when you'd awaken with a mouth like the inside of a Tram driver's brake glove .. and a thirst which would turn a Chief Stoker green with envy ... :)   :)

Anonymous said...

Can anyone please decipher the term ' a typical ham sandwich'?