Picture the scene.
A thousand or so reporters from newspapers around the world all crowded on to Santa Catalina, a small island off California. An aeroplane lands, and a male and female with blankets over their heads are shepherded into a black car with blacked out windows and driven off at high speed, with photographers flashing their cameras like maniacs, desperately trying to catch an exclusive photo through the blackened windows.
Then there is an absolute frenzy outside the grounds of the house, where the wedding is to take place, with reporters and paps climbing over fences to get their stories and pictures.
Meanwhile, Robbie Williams and his woman get married quietly, with a few friends watching, in his Beverly Hills mansion. If I could have been anywhere I'd have loved to be on that island, to capture the moment, when the reporters and paps learn that they've been well and fucking truly had.
via a tip off from our glitzy showbiz correspondent, AllstarsAmpers