Sunday 29 August 2010

Pakistan Cricketer Named In Bribe Shock

The world of cricket has been shocked by the revelations that one of the Pakistan Test Team is not bent as a 9 rupee note. Opening fast bowler Abu Googlie was reported not to have taken a bribe of £20,000 to bowl no balls in the final test match at Lords. Googlie (30) was offered the bribe by an undercover newspaper reporter who was posing as a Police Community Support Officer, as part of a “sting” at the team’s hotel. Unknown to Googlie, however, the conversation was being recorded. Googlie can be distinctly heard telling the PCSO to “fuck right off”.

Spokesman for the Pakistani Cricket Board, Osama Bin Laden, said that he was “shocked and appalled” by the allegations, which flew completely in the face of Pakistan’s long and honourable tradition of playing test cricket. Speaking from his cave, near Kandahar, Bin Laden (52) said “If this is true it’s appalling. How the hell is anyone going to be able to place a spread bet and make a few dishonest rupees if one of our players is found to be as honest as the day is long! This throws the whole reputation of Pakistani cricket into question.”

Meanwhile, following a long lunch of tofu, organic parsley, quails eggs and polenta, Labour Leadership candidate David Millipede (13 and three quarters) added his own comments. “It’s very sad but it’s a slow news day and I’ll jump on any bandwagon I can because I hate my fucking brother so much. He is a complete cunt, by the way.”


Those still wishing to collect donations for the Pakistan Flood Appeal should direct their inquiries to the rest of the Pakistani Cricket Team. They've got shit loads of cash to spare.



via our International Sports and Cricket Correspondent, Randy Hack

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46 comments:

concrete pump said...

The fuckers got a pasting on the field, which is nice. Pakistan is such a corrupt shithole that nothing will come of this. Fixing sporting events is too easy to do nowadays.
 On a different sporting topic, Seb Vetttel is a cunt who can't drive for shit. Little fucking wanker.

Captain Haddock said...

Nice one Gotty .. like it .... :)   :)   :)

Bring On The Revolution said...

Gotty on the ball as always! (excuse the pun!)
Oh yes, the Muzzie Paki cunts are always without fail involved in corruption, fraud and all other sorts of criminal activity, it's in their inbreed genes.
I was watching on t.v the other day of a scam in the Manchester area in which a criminal gang staged car crashes in order to defraud insurance companies and in the process putting the lives of innocent and indigenous Brits at risk. And of course it goes without saying the gang were, you guessed it... Muzzie Paki cunts!
And don't forget all card fraud in this country is again committed by Pakis. The other scandal is of course the Muzzie Paki peadophile gangs that kidnap OUR young girls and enslave them in the evil, vile and depraved sex trade.
So as you can see, these cunts sure have plenty of form, and STILL all the Paki-loving do-gooder leftie fuckwits continue to put money in the collecting tins, what fucking retards!!
Hope they have an earthquake soon as well and wipe a few more of the thieving terrorist cunts out!!!

All Seeing Eye said...

"I only told that PCSO to fuck off and called him a cunt because I thought it was a NoTW sting on cricket spot-betting yerHonour"

Cheating bastards.

Gildas said...

Thank you Mr Got and Mr Hack too, for informing and enlightening us on this bless-ed day. O:-) :) ;)

Heads on poles said...

Excellent as ever GOT!

The crew of the ISS were asked to take a look at the floodwaters of Pakistan as they orbited and pass on what they saw.
The report was hushed up but apparently went like this:
"Looks like a bowl of fucking coco-pops to me!"
Allegedly.

Caratacus said...

“It’s very sad but it’s a slow news day and I’ll jump on any bandwagon I can because I hate my fucking brother so much. He is a complete cunt, by the way.”

With these words Millipede leaped towards the bandwagon, missed and landed athwart the rail, which, if he had any bollocks, would have driven them up to his earoles. The stupid, condescending, leering cunt.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

... and did you see that corrupt 18 year old bowler get down on his knees and praise Allah after he got a '6 fer'. What the fucking fuck! Was that for the '6 fer', I now ask myself, or was it for the huge amount of cash he 'won' for bowling 'no balls'.

And another thing, I'm also a big fan of motorsport (and not too fucking shabby at it myself in the past, though I say so myself) and that Krauty Kunt Vettel regularly boils my fucking piss. That arrogant, Scumacheresque fuckjuice of a cunt needs some revs fucking into him after taking out JB today!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Cheers Cap'n, just had to be done and my thanks go to the 'Randy One' for coming up with the story ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

How much more convincing will it take to prove to those do-gooding, righteous, lefty mongtards that Pakistan, and anything to do with it, is beyond redemption.

As you said ...... bring on the earthquakes!
Allah wil save them ... or not ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I was totally gutted when I heard the news late last night, ASE. Strangely though, I wasn't at all surprised. A leopard never changes its spots.

The biggest shame on this occasion is that Broad and Trott will forever have that nagging doubt in their minds ..... did the Pakistanis want us to score all those runs?

As you say "Cheating bastards".

4 Eyed Pyramid said...

Its not the sleeze in cricket we should get alarmed about,its the mummified
derelicts who sit 5 days watching it


The Moving Hand

GrumpyOldTwat said...

The pleasure in highlighting such displeasure, is all ours ;)

Captain Haddock said...

BOTR ..

You forgot to mention the long-runnig & on-going scandal of the Asian "family" Driving Licence(s) ...

GrumpyOldTwat said...

FFS Hop ... don't start me on breakfast cereals. I get a real bee in my fucking bonnet about some fuckwit or other messing about with traditional, basic, products that I have always known and loved.

Chocolate Weetabix! What the fucking fucketty fuck is that all about then!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

David Miliband = Bliar Clone Cunt.
There'll more about that jug eared, jerk off on this blog during this coming 'election' week. The cunt.

Bring On The Revolution said...

Absolutely spot on Gotty!! I've always said that the only good Paki is a dead Paki and the whole fucking lot of 'em ought to be exterminated, and is great to see mother nature doing a grand job for us!!! All these fuckwit inbreed cunts have done is export terrorism and all other sorts of hideous criminal activities, the world will be  a far better place without them!!!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I prefer to be called a grumpy old twat, so do fuck off.

Captain Haddock said...

I was reading the report in the Mail online earlier, in which there was a quote from someone (I don't recall who exactly) connected with the Pakistani Team management who said (and I paraphrase) .. "Its all the fault of the Bookies, if there weren't bets available on the outcome of balls, this wouldn't happen" ..

Unfortunately, that quote has since been removed ..

But this argument for and defence of Pakistan's legendary cheating is as facile and daft as saying that 9/11 was the fault of Boeing Aircraft  .. after all, if Boeing had never produced the 767, it could never have been flown into the North Tower of the WTC .... 

I'm not a Cricket fan & have little or no interest in the game .. but surely one way to put a stop to this is for all the other Cricket-playing nations to refuse to play against Pakistan & thus isolate them totally ... 

If that doesn't concentrate a few minds .. little else will ...

Bring On The Revolution said...

Definitely a nomination for cunt of the year fucking Krauty Kunt Vettel!!!

Gildas said...

Hey! I would like to go to test match and watch but I've never had the money or the time. Don't be so harsh!  :-E     

ArtCo said...

Hey Got
Ive heard it from government sources , put your fucking house on Christians not getting any aid in pakiland.

The thieving fucking ugly retarded begging dirty black drowning terrorist cunts

Captain Haddock said...

I had to laugh when I read this yesterday ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1306941/GMB-union-boss-threatens-withdraw-Labour-funding-unless-Ed-Miliband-elected-party-leader.html

Next week should prove to more than a little "interesting" as personal agends & interests are brought into play ..

Along with every other right-thinking person, I hope to see NuLabour killed off, buried, with a stake driven through its evil heart forever more ..

Also of interest are the reports emerging about Blair buying or creating his own Investment Bank .. apparently called Firerush Ventures .. which probably explains how he & "slot-gob" could afford to splash the £2 million, in cash to buy their daughter a London town house 

ArtCo said...

"The thieving fucking ugly retarded begging dirty black drowning terrorist cunts"

Sorry forgot MUSLIM in my rant

Bring On The Revolution said...

Well said CH "Pakistani not knowing how to drive please" Paki drivers are the worst of all drivers!

Dazed-and-Confused said...

But as all forms of gambling are Haram in Islam haven't the Pakistani cricket team induced the wrath of Allah?

So if they don't give a toss about upsetting their deity and his schizophrenic pedophile of a sidekick, then why the fuck should we?

All Seeing Eye said...

Nothing mummified or derelict about me, you cunt.

All Seeing Eye said...

In fact, the locals are busy killing Christian aid workers for daring to help out.

Norman Spack M.D. said...

The T20's and the One Dayers should be fun. They'll replace the cheating cunts with more cheating cunts including the biggest cheating cunt of them all, Shiteheed Afridi, the ball chewing, cheating cunt.
Even the manager was a cheating cunt in his playing days, they're all fucking in on it.
They need a fucking slap with a Stuart Surridge Jumbo.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I'm with you on that. All cricketing nations should refuse to play them from now on. That'll leave them free to fuck the fuck off back to Pakistan and take their chances n the floods ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

That'll be the religion of peace doing doing Allah's 'work' again then.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Excellent point Dazed ...... the hypocrisy goes on.
Incidentally, a couple of weeks ago, I heard one of the Pakistan players being asked about how he copes with Ramadan whilst playing over here in the Test Matches. He said it was no problem because he doesn't have to take part if he's not in Pakistan.

What. The. Fuck!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>Stuart Surridge Jumbo"</span>
Now that's a blast from the past ... and how about clouting the cheating scumbags around the temple with a Ducan Fearnley Magnum. Oh, and where's Denis Lillee and his aluminium bat, when you need him ;)

Fascist Hippy said...

Perhaps the poor Pakis did it to get some money to help their fellow countrymen who have suffered in the floods?


Nah.... evil, corrupt fucking cunts! 

LOL said...

Relief organisations 'discriminating against Christian flood victims': report

http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online/Politics/28-Aug-2010/Relief-organisations-discriminating-against-Christian-flood-victims-report



They are scum. It's either hardwired or it's down to all that inbreeding. Bottom line don't give muslims anything.Nothing.

Bring On The Revolution said...

To add to that I say, boycott all muzzie businesses, seize all their assets that they have stashed away in the banks and use the money for OUR poeple. And all the muzzie terrorist scummy medieval throwback inbred cunts can all fuck off and die!!!

Dazed-and-Confused said...

Who the fuck do the BBC speak for these days other than Socialists and Islam? Every fucker knows what a cess pit of human rights abuse Saudi Arabia is, but what do we get from the loathsome BBC?

A female presenter in tears at the sound of Islamic prayer........Allah fucking Akbar Al-Beebeecee.....And even though shes piously dressed in her Jilbab wheres Kate Humbles Nijab?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

... and don't forget lying ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

And there's the thing ..... the Allah loving arsewipes expect all good Christians from around the world to throw money at the floods but, at the same time, openly ignore the Christians' plight within their own country.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

What the fuck is that woman on? I bet she hasn't got a fucking clue what the fuck those 'wailers' are on about. Bet she wouldn't be crying if someone were to recite the Lord's Prayer to her in an all expenses paid, holiday location. The muzzie loving munter!

Captain Haddock said...

Islam .. the religion which inspired "Pick n' Mix" .... ;)

Bring On The Revolution said...

The sooner the Muzzie-loving cuntin' BBC gets fucking broken up the better, what fucks me off the most is that OUR licence fee money goes to pay for all this left-wing socialist Labour luvvie muzzie-loving constant stream of hideous propaganda!
So all you muzzie fuckwit cunts can take your Allah fucking akbar shite and shove it right up your filthy muzzie arses as we DO NOT want that muzzie shit in OUR country!!!

microdave said...

Then you'd better not visit LegIron's or DK's blogs....

I don't know how some of you lot manage to knock out comprehensive posts at half past one in the morning!

microdave said...

So why the fuck do we have to put up with streets being closed, and OUR menu's being altered to suit them????

When in Rome do as the fucking Romans do.......

Anonymous said...

'shocked' who the fuck is shocked cheating and lying are in the Pakistani DNA. Got to laugh at the pakistani cunts protesting looks like they've taken a break from the usual benefit/electoral/insurance/driving licence/marriage/studentimmigrant fraud to shout a bit. Could be worse thou there could be a systematic state sponsored cover up to hide grooming and gang rape of young white girls, that might hurt racial relations.

Captain Peacock said...

What gets my gander up is the British public is expected to contribute to help Pakistan due the the floods.
While all this is going on these cretins are living it up in London earning thousands if not millions and we are expected to dig into our pockets to help their country.
The same with that Pakistan PM also living it up in London did not go back to his country to help his people out.