Friday 13 August 2010

Colin Montgomerie Pics Whip Up A Frenzy

I don't normally get involved in minor celebrity gossip but after watching Kelvin MacKenzie banging on about some Colin Montgomerie 'super injunction' or other, on Sky News last night, I thought I'd make a couple of calls and do a bit of digging around. Mainly because I'm sick to fucking death of this latest trend where well healed transgressors are able to curtail the freedom of speech via the back door.

So, this latest 'super injunction' has been apparently (because we're not even supposed to know it exists) taken out against Paula Tagg. Her relationship began with Colin Montgomerie Mrs Doubtfire sometime in 2006, wedged between the divorce from his first wife and an alleged affair with Joanne Baldwin, during his second marrige to Gaynor Knowles. Fuck me, it's no wonder Colin's golf has gone down the twatting pan with all that extra curricular activity. (add suitable golf joke here .... ball in hand, birdie, ball cleaners, hole in one, 3 wood etc., etc.)


Anyhow, the injunction specifically forbids Paula Tagg (or The News of the World for that matter) from releasing any information about sexual acts or any other information recorded in the form of a photo, still or moving image. Paula Tagg is also barred from confirming the existence of any such images. (S&M or otherwise)

Just thought you'd like to know.

So ..... moving on, and in totally unrelated matters, I watched one of my all time favourite films last night ..... Pulp Fiction.  I must have seen it about 20 times and it never ceases to entertain and amuse me, all apart from that one scene of course. You know the one. Full on gimp mask, rubber ball in the mouth, whips, dog collar and dominatrix. All very gross and to think that there are some people out there who do that sort of thing for enjoyment.


Well after all that ...... thank fuck it's Friday, eh, with the whole weekend ahead of us and the first half of the Blog Twats Poll 2010 Results to look forward to, later tonight ;-)


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26 comments:

Dioclese said...

ooooohhhhhhhh! Can't wait, gotty! Get a bar of Coty soap and send them the Cunt of the Year award (we did that at work one year. It didn't go down well)

PJH said...

...Colin Montgomerie...

Who he?

Captain Haddock said...

Old "Monty" obviously spends longer digging it out of "the rough" than he does on his game ..   >:o ;)

Anyway as it Friday .. I thought some of you might like this ... :-D :-D :-D

Woman on a raft said...

Golfers play a silly game and wear the daftest clothes imaginable.  Why don't they get an injunction to cover that? Merely having a lot of kinky sex with other consenting adults is pretty tame in comparison.

I think they only get the injunctions as a kind of boasting, otherwise nobody would even believe they've managed to get a date, let alone a legover.

Captain Haddock said...

I would tend to agree ..

Personally, I've never seen the point in hitting a little white ball with a long, oddly-shaped stick .. then trogging along after said ball .. only to hit it again ...

Whereas, I can entirely see the point in getting yer leg-over ... :-D :-D :-D

But then, I suppose it takes all sorts .. ;)

The Grim Reaper said...

Well, it didn't take long for details of this injunction to start leaking out, did it? It makes me wonder why these so-called celebs even bother going to court to get them in the first place. There is, of course, a much simpler solution to this problem that Montgomerie obviously didn't consider. How about simply not having an affair in the first place? Radical, I know, but simple and incredibly effective. Because if there's no affair, then the press can't report it, can they? If he really must start shagging another woman, dump the one you're with first, Colin...

Mind you, this gives Paul Dacre at the Daily Mail even more of an excuse to publish rants about Lord Justice Eady, who Dacre really has it in for. Dacre may be a cunt, but Justice Eady is an even bigger cunt.

I'm looking forward to seeing the results of the Blog Twats Poll this evening. If it becomes an annual contest, I look forward to my own blog (starting soon, just got one or two little things to sort out first) being featured in it. Or not, as the case may be. :-P

concrete pump said...

Monty is a fucking miserable shit and an overrated golfer, at this stage in his career i doubt this will do him any harm.
 Which is a shame, i fucking hate the whining cunt.

microdave said...

The babysitter later on......

GrumpyOldTwat said...

An overrated Jock golfer of mediocre talent who can't keep his dick in his pants

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Twenty on a rope should do the trick ... one for each of the top 20 twats ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Mmmmm, thanks for that boys!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Yep, Eady yet again. Is that cunt on commission or summink?

First half of the Blog Twats Poll results are coming up tonight and there will be tears ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I can confirm, from experience, that he is just as rude, selfish, ignorant, arrogant and bad tempered in person as he seems to appear on the televisual device.

Joe Public said...

When will 3rd class celebrities & minor sportspeople start to realise that in the age of the Interwebby, injunctions create the "Streisand Effect"?

Gildas said...

hahhahhahah hahaha hah :-D !

sadbutmadlad said...

You sure there is no connection between Colin and the gimp mask? Not like Colin might like that kind of stuff with Paula? O:-)

Gildas said...

A friend of a friend told me he was a rude selfish cunt on the golf course.
And the "super" injunction is a worrying development and has been for a while
So out the sod and what he's been up to.
Plus
"And,Miss Norma Stitz, hat first attracted you to ugly morose Scottish  git millionaire Colin Montgomerie?"
G the M 

Gildas said...

A friend of a friend told me he was a rude selfish cunt on the golf course.
And the "super" injunction is a worrying development and has been for a while
So out the sod and what he's been up to.
Plus
"And,Miss Norma Stitz, hat first attracted you to ugly morose Scottish  git millionaire Colin Montgomerie?"
G the M 

GrumpyOldTwat said...

errr ..... what do you think ;)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"w<span>hat first attracted you to ugly morose Scottish  git millionaire Colin Montgomerie?"</span>
His wedge? ;) (ouch!)

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Yep! The dozy fuckers just make things even worse!

banned said...

I'd never heard of the cunt until now, not that I'm especially interested but what did he actually do that we are not supposed to know about? I know I could google it in about 10 seconds but I can't be arsed.

banned said...

Pulp Fiction, fine movie seen numerous times; may I take this opportunity to recommend the 2010 remake of The Crazies, magnificent and a great lesson for our American friends in how much their Gommint loves them.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

"<span>I know I could google it in about 10 seconds".</span>
I've saved you the trouble Banned, all you need to know is in the main post ;) ;)

The Grim Reaper said...

John Terry must have been kicking himself when he turned up in court that day and discovered that it was Eady's day off. Otherwise, we still wouldn't know about his cheating ways.

Right, I'm off to ...Is A Cunt to see whether Eady has been featured yet. If not, a nomination is going in.

banned said...

Oh, soz, I thought it might have been what they 'allegedly' got up to in the sack, or on the rug, whatever. Love salaciouse details me.