It's been a while since Gotty last gave me some space on this blog, but as the ConDems seem to be just as bad (if not worse) than the last lot, I thought I would try and find a few snippets to cheer us all up. It hasn't been an easy task ..... firstly let this be a warning!
Unwanted penis tattooed on man's backOctober 26, 2010 - 9:11AM
A Queensland man faces criminal charges after allegedly tattooing a 18" long penis onto his mate’s back. Police have charged a 21-year-old man from Bundamba, near Ipswich, with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one offence relating to the public safety act.
He will appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15. It will cost the 25-year-old alleged victim about $2000 to remove the lewd tattoo. It depicts a 18" long image of a penis and a misspelled slogan implying the man is gay. Police said the pair had a disagreement before the tattooing.
Ipswich Detective Constable Paul Malcolm said the victim was mortified by what happened to him.
‘‘The victim wasn’t interested (in a tattoo) at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons,’’ Detective Malcolm told the Queensland Times today.
‘‘The bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good.’
‘‘He was told not to go out into the sun and not to show anyone for a few weeks.‘‘When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I don't think it’s the tattoo you were after’.’’
Next to all the bird lovers out there I have found the idea pet for our host ....
.... and it appears the bird is making a comeback in this neighbourhood:
Then there was the middle aged lady, who on reaching a certain age, decides to have a spot of cosmetic surgery down below... a bit of nip and tuck if you will.
When she wakes after surgery, there are three bunches of flowers on her table. She says to the nurse "Oh they're lovely, who are they from?"
The nurse replies "The first are from your surgeon, for being such a wonderful patient." "The second are from your husband, he wishes you a speedy recovery and is looking forward to touching the sides again." "And the third are from Eric in the Burns Unit to say thanks for the new ears."
Some of you may already have spotted the following clip which I posted on EyeTube, but if not have a chuckle:
Lastly I read that Brits have been bothering residents of a well known Austrian village by calling up and asking "Is that Fucking" ... and then laughing at them down the phone. Residents are upset over the amount of calls they receive from, often, drunk callers.
Mayor Siegfried Hauppl said: 'I don't know why the English have to go on about it all the time - we are always in the news but we are just a little village - we want to be left in peace.'
Though the article points out that the mayor of a Village in Switzerland, called Wank, told the Fucking residents to use their name as tourism since the Wank Guest House is always full.
Still, it could be worse - how do you think the residents of this place feel?