Tuesday 26 October 2010

MSM Tuesday 26/10/10


It's been a while since Gotty last gave me some space on this blog, but as the ConDems seem to be just as bad (if not worse) than the last lot, I thought I would try and find a few snippets to cheer us all up. It hasn't been an easy task ..... firstly let this be a warning!
Unwanted penis tattooed on man's back
October 26, 2010 - 9:11AM

A Queensland man faces criminal charges after allegedly tattooing a 18" long penis onto his mate’s back. Police have charged a 21-year-old man from Bundamba, near Ipswich, with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one offence relating to the public safety act.

He will appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15. It will cost the 25-year-old alleged victim about $2000 to remove the lewd tattoo. It depicts a 18" long image of a penis and a misspelled slogan implying the man is gay. Police said the pair had a disagreement before the tattooing.

Ipswich Detective Constable Paul Malcolm said the victim was mortified by what happened to him.

‘‘The victim wasn’t interested (in a tattoo) at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons,’’ Detective Malcolm told the Queensland Times today.

‘‘The bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good.’

‘‘He was told not to go out into the sun and not to show anyone for a few weeks.
‘‘When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I don't think it’s the tattoo you were after’.’’

Next to all the bird lovers out there I have found the idea pet for our host ....


.... and it appears the bird is making a comeback in this neighbourhood:



Then there was the middle aged lady, who on reaching a certain age, decides to have a spot of cosmetic surgery down below... a bit of nip and tuck if you will.

When she wakes after surgery, there are three bunches of flowers on her table. She says to the nurse "Oh they're lovely, who are they from?"

The nurse replies "The first are from your surgeon, for being such a wonderful patient." "The second are from your husband, he wishes you a speedy recovery and is looking forward to touching the sides again." "And the third are from Eric in the Burns Unit to say thanks for the new ears."


Some of you may already have spotted the following clip which I posted on EyeTube, but if not have a chuckle:




Lastly I read that Brits have been bothering residents of a well known Austrian village by calling up and asking "Is that Fucking" ... and then laughing at them down the phone. Residents are upset over the amount of calls they receive from, often, drunk callers.

Mayor Siegfried Hauppl said: 'I don't know why the English have to go on about it all the time - we are always in the news but we are just a little village - we want to be left in peace.'

Though the article points out that the mayor of a Village in Switzerland, called Wank, told the Fucking residents to use their name as tourism since the Wank Guest House is always full.

Still, it could be worse - how do you think the residents of this place feel?

Microdave
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16 comments:

The Grim Reaper said...

Hehe, quality stuff.

LOL said...

The latest climate change scam. >:o

Private sewers in England and Wales

(No Longer Private)

http://www.defra.gov.uk/environment/quality/water/industry/sewers/index.htm

Caratacus said...

"....new ears"

You are a bad man md! Keep going...

microdave said...

No Shit.....

Anonymous said...

I don't think it’s the tattoo you were after’

Classic.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

They're taking the fucking piss!

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Where can I get one of those 'fuck you' birds from? Fucking brilliant, I want one!

microdave said...

Well that was from The Onion, so is probably a wind up. But hey, it's damn funny all the same. African Grey parrots seem to be easily taught, I seem to remember posting a video link some time back.  Mynah Birds are also excellent mimics. There used to be one in a Pub round these parts that did a brilliant impression of the landlords "smokers cough". Here's a clip of one, followed by the brilliant Lyre Bird which does the most amazing renditions of every day things.
http://www.youtube.com/v/VjE0Kdfos4Y" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="170" height="140

BRICKBAT said...

Eric from the burns unit was a fucking corker :-D
If mrs brick went for nip and tuck she could supply an herd of African elephants after a bushfire and have enough left over for a fucking circus tent and new shoes for the clowns :-D
That tattoo one reminds me of the ex wife ! when i first met her she had nw tattooed an her arse cheeks!
Every time she bent over it said  "nOw" =-X
I´ll get me hat

banned said...

"Be Polite" Top fucking graffito!

Zimbabwe twats renamed the Wankie National Park "Hwange" , miserableist cunts.

Captain Haddock said...

Totally round the u-bend in fact ...

Captain Haddock said...

I assume that "Eric" is a Spaniel then ... No ? .... ;)

Captain Haddock said...

Talking about disastrous tattoos reminds me of a bloke I knew years ago .. who went to a Tattooist in Hong Kong, wanting "RM Cdo" (abbreviation for Commando) plus a Dagger on his arm ...

Dunno what went wrong .. but he ended up with "Cdodo" instead ... Oh, how we pissed ourselves .. :) :) :)

Beware of Geeks Bearing GIFs said...

Post of the day GOT, post of the day!

:)

Beware of Geeks Bearing GIFs said...

Sparky!  You want Sparky GOT!

microdave said...

Eric from the burns unit might be needing some of this......