Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Outlaw Gordon.

That is an Order Gordon, not a request.
Do One you Oik.

Ed Balls Is A Liar

Apparently Ed 'Blinky' Balls doesn't take to kindly to being called a liar.
Even though we all know that he is one.

This from Fraser Nelson:
Ed Balls has just called me up about my post from this morning , hopping mad. He instructed me to "take that post down now". I thought he was joking: has there been some change to the constitution where ministers now have power over the media? But he was deadly serious. "You should not call me a liar," said Balls. I told him that if he doesn't want to be called a liar, “he shouldn't tell lies”. His defence is that his point about debt is a Brownie, not a lie - okay, he didn't put it quite like that. But when he said "debt" he referred to the "ratio of national debt to gross domestic product" which is forecasted in the Budget to start falling in eight to nine years time. Now the Budget, of course, has a "horizon" running out in 2013/14: there are literally no plans beyond that. It is a lie to suggest otherwise.

So there you have it.
Ed Balls doesn't like being called a liar.

So, we all know what to do now then if we want to wind up the sniveling little shit. Tell the whole fucking world and his wife, on the blogosphere, that Ed 'blinky-pants-on-fire" Balls is a liar.

It's not going to be very easy for that thieving twat to ring everyone up and threaten them now, is it!

◊◊◊  ◊◊◊

Even more offensive Little Miss and Mr Men available here

What To Do If You Have Swine Flu


Spread a little happiness.

Go on. You know you want to!


◊◊◊  ◊◊◊

Further Swine Flue fuckwittery can be found here and here

Our Future Safe in Gordon's Hands

If you really want to help build a better future for Britain,
then just pull the damn trigger.
Go on Gordon, save us all.

Oh and correct me if I'm wrong, Mr Gordon 'Prespartarian' Brown,
but didn't you say that you would do whatever it takes
to get Britain back on its feet?

Or were you lying again?


◊◊◊ ◊◊◊

iTwat, iLose, iReshuffle and  iQuit available here

Monday, 29 June 2009

Peter and Gordon at the Gay Bar



Tip of the Lube Tube to Dazed N Confused

Brown's Master.

Taking the wind out Brown's sails.

Lord Mandelson may have — ever so slightly — jumped the gun when he all but ruled out a comprehensive spending review this side of a general election.

Oh, deary, deary me. Mandy doesn't seem to be wielding the correct type of sword Gordon.
I mean, you wouldn't want to wrap your tongue around that would you?

Heatwave! Ice Cream Anyone?

"I'm Mandy lick me!"
Go on Gordon, you know you want to . . . . again.


Image by Lawson

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Gordon Brown ++++ EXCLUSIVE ++++


This exclusive photo of the Prime Minister was allegedly taken in the servant quarters kitchen at Chequers, only hours before he was due to commence the all important, recent Cabinet re-shuffle.

Mario, 17, a disgruntled young man servant who asked not to be named for fear of reprisals, said "I've had enough of being fucked around by that cock sucking crackhead, I'm not standing for it anymore."

Apparently Gordon had promised Mario the World, if he were to carry out a couple of personal favours for him, but to date all Mario has received from Gordon is a bottle of minty fresh mouthwash and a preview of his latest YouTube gurn.

"That's when I thought I'd get my revenge, by taking a photo of the lying, twitchy faced, crackhead" said Mario "and then give it to someone I trust, someone who'd know exactly what to do with it."

"Well done, I know exactly what to do with that" said Peter "Now run along and hide in my wardrobe until I tell you it's safe to come out." 




Hat tip to Lorenzo for the excellent image

Michael Jackson Death Mystery Solved

It looks like the curse of Jonah Brown has struck again !




Saturday, 27 June 2009

Labour Sinks Lower and Lower.


We are so, so Fucked...........

Our contracting economy means that we are ever less able to afford state spending on such a monumental scale.The condition of the public finances is not merely precarious, it is dire – as the Governor of the Bank of England has tried to tell the Prime Minister. El Twato's response has been to stick his head in the sand and insist that there is no need to cut public expenditure.


The Brown Gorgon has repeatedly attempted to frame the election as a choice between "Tory cuts" and "Labour investment". The Tories counter that spending restraint is inevitable because of Labour's borrowing.

That argument was kicked into touch this week by the Bank of England governor, who warned that whoever wins the next election, they will have no choice but to cut spending and raise taxes in order to reduce the unforgivable deficit Labour has run up.

Housing benefit is just one example of Labour's failure to control welfare spending. The total handed out in benefits is predicted to grow to £165 billion this year, which is more than the Government raises in income tax.

Just fuck off Brown, please, I'm begging you and so are millions of others. Just Sodding GO.

My Contribution To Global Warming

Gordon is at it again.
Throwing shit loads of money, that we don't fucking have, at some Global problem or other in a pathetic effort to appear statesman-like on the World stage.

This time its Global warming or climate control or whatever else 'they' are calling it this week. It's all total bollocks anyway and a complete fucking con if you ask me.

So, in a nut shell, Gordon Brown is making a bid to lead the World in Global warming by launching a ground breaking initiative (not my fucking choice of words) to set up a £60 billon rescue fund.

Yes that's right. 60 fucking billion pounds!

Where the fuck is he going to get that from then?

I have a much better suggestion, Mr Gordon 'Global' Brown.
Stand still while I throw a can of petrol over you and chuck a lighted Zippo in your direction

Now that's what I call making a useful contribution to Global warning!

Image by Lorenzo

GrumpyOldTwat Just Got More Seditious


It's time for the GrumpyOldTwat blog
to move up to the next level!

I am absolutely delighted to welcome 2 new co-conspirators, who are bringing their highly talented graphics skills to G.O.T.'s place, in an effort to provide an even more concerted attack on the freedom fucking, troughing fucktard of a Government, who are leading us all to undemocratic and economic oblivion.

And I dare say, any other fucker that pisses us off along the way.

Whoever the target is I am sure that you are all going to enjoy the funny as fuck pictorial piss taking skills, and a few choice words too I would imagine, of my fellow, seditious bloggers . . . .


and


A big welcome to both of you and many thanks
for joining the mayhem at G.O.T's place

++++++++++

Incidentally, in case you hadn't spotted it,
both of them have already graced us with their first posts
And fucking good ones they are too!

++++++++++

On a personal note, I can't wait for TheEye
to see what's been going on here whilst he's been away!

Friday, 26 June 2009

RIP MJ.


Gordon, You Know What You Can Do.

Gordon adopted Michael's monkey on expenses

All Seeing Eye

Encouraging news about TheEye!

There has been a slight improvement in his condition which now means that his chances of survival are a bit better. It seems as though all our good thoughts and prayers are starting to have an effect. However, the next few days still remain very important to him and I would be grateful if you would all continue to send your good wishes and may be offer up a small prayer or two.

TheEye really does need all the help he can get.

Thank you.

++++ Michael Jackson Dead ++++





Thursday, 25 June 2009

More YouTube Fun!

Time for a bit more 'Labour runs YouTube' fuckwittery . . . . 

This brilliant piece of work was sent to me by the
very talented Lawson Narse who suggests that Gordon Brown (get outta town) and YouTube may well be needing this by the time the blogosphere have finished fucking with them!

Can't fault you there my friend and I fancy that the unelected ring reamer may well be needing it sooner rather than later, once he realises that someone has hacked into his YouTube channel and posted THAT banned video on it!

Screech also has an excellent alternative YouTube logo over at his place and the ever demur(?) Old Bag has written one of her classic 'no holds barred' rants about the Labour bias censorship of YouTube.

Great work and keep at it!
We can't let those freedom fucking fucktards get the better of us!


Also, please check out Gordon Brown calling himself a
YouTube cunt on Youtube, it's now had the cassetteboy seal of approval 'doncha know' !

He has left a comment there to prove it!

It's important to get as many people as you can to rate it, favourite it and comment on it. More of this kind of activity = higher YouTube rankings = more chance of it upsetting Gordon Brown and his freedom fucking fucktards.

Go for it!

Other previous YouTube fuckwittery can be found here.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Weather Forecasting Fucktard

Am I alone in thinking that some TV weather forecasters just make the whole thing up as they go along?

For fuck's sake all I want to know is what the temperature is going to be tomorrow and is it going to rain or not and with all the latest high tech meteorological software available, what could be a simpler question than that?

Fuck me, I think Francis Wilson on Sky News
is still using a piece of seaweed!



+++BREAKING+++


Michael Foot, 96, has agreed to return
as Leader of the Labour Party
just as soon as Gordon Brown
can be ousted as Prime Minister.


Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Reality Bites (Updated)

There you are going about your normal daily business, trying to earn a crust, trying not to incur the wrath of your partner and hopefully, if there is any time left, give the Government hell on your humble blog. Suddenly, without warning, reality jumps up and bites you on the arse.

Unfortunately I heard distressing news today about TheEye, my co-conspirator on this blog, and my very good friend. He has suffered an unfortunate accident and is currently in the ITU of his local hospital.

Awful news.

David Vance one of my fellow co-conspirators at All Seeing Eye, he of A Tangled Web and Biased BBC fame, will join with me in doing our utmost to maintain TheEye's blog so it is there for him to come back to when he has fully recovered.

I am deeply distressed at today's news. TheEye has become a great friend over the last few months and I can only wish him well for a speedy recovery and a return to his rightful place, both here, where he also does a lot to help me behind the scenes, and at the All Seeing Eye blog.

Even more importantly than that, friendship is a very precious thing and we are all missing his at this present time.

If all our thoughts, prayers and good wishes were the finest medicine then hopefully he will be back amongst us all very soon.

David Vance also has this to say over at B-BBC.

That just leaves me to say please feel free to leave your good wishes in the comments section below and, if you can find time in your busy day, perhaps you would call in at The All Seeing Eye blog occasionally to help support it until TheEye is fit and well enough to return.

Thank you.



+++++ UPDATE 24/06 +++++

Latest news on TheEye is not good.

He is intubated, on a ventilator and sedated,
the next 24/48hrs are critical.

Please continue to spare a thought and a prayer
to help him through his darkest hours.

I intend to return to blogging just as soon as I can get my head around this distressing news. I know that is what TheEye would want and I am not going to let a good friend down.

In the meantime, thank you to all of those
who have already sent their good wishes


THAT Banned YouTube Video is Back!

THAT banned 'Fuck You' video has amazingly reappeared
on a rather interesting YouTube channel.

New YouTube Logos

YouTube don't have their own thought police scouring their channels, it's solely down to a New Labour quango that runs around "flagging" anything that they don't like.

Well feast your eyes on this lot then, you freedom fucking "flagging" fucktards!

Oh, and don't worry Gordon, this isn't all of them.

Plenty more where this came from.

Enjoy!






Incidentally, Gordon, the "flagging" fuckwits that banned  my video might be interested to know that it is now back up on YouTube again. Now the question is, can your queer arsed cock sucking quango cunts find it and ban it again before it's found it's way even further around the internet than it already is?

Oh, don't you just love the power of the blogosphere Gordon?

Jog on, you freedom fucking YouTube cunt!

Monday, 22 June 2009

New Speaker, Same Gordon.

Following the election of a new Mr Speaker, to the Whore Houses of Parliament, Gordon "Tease me, tease me, go on Mandy, tease me with your big pink teasing stick" Brown has made his position perfectly clear.

By getting behind (pun fucking well intended) home flipper John Bercow Gordon has confirmed his total 'Fuck You' attitude to the people of this Country.


Mr Bercow may well have been dragged to the Speaker's Chair this evening but Democracy has once again been dragged, kicking and screaming, away from the people of this Country.

Gentleman's Club firmly re-established.

Fuck you, 646!

New YouTube Logo


++++++ COMING SOON ++++++

A series of new YouTube logos
will be published on this site tonight.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

G.O.T. Needs Your Help

YouTube have 'taken down' the video I posted 2 days ago due to some fucktard of a 'freedom of speech fucker' or other requesting to have it removed. What could possibly be offensive about it, for fuck's sake, all I'm doing is telling it how it really is and if the righteous freedom fucking fuckwits find that the truth hurts sometimes then too fucking bad.

After all, it appeared to be highly popular. The last time I checked it was in the top 5 videos on YouTube in the news and politics category.

I'm fucked if I'm going to be jerked around and have my right to freedom of speech curtailed by the two unelected man munchers, and their sycophantic arsewipes, that run this Country. More importantly why should the majority of people, who understandably think the same as me, be denied the freedom of choice to watch what they want, when they want?

So, here's the video once again available to be viewed by anyone who wishes to view it . . . .

video

Furthermore I would be very grateful if as many of you as possible, who have already been good enough to link to the original video, would re-link to this reposted one. Hopefully this will mean that the blogosphere's right to freedom of speech can be maintained.

Please spread the word, it's a matter of principle!

We must not let the establishment, including the MSM, get yet another foothold into stifling the anonymous blogger's right to freedom of speech, after all, if people weren't interested in what we had to say then they wouldn't visit us in their thousands. Would they?

It would be far too easy for me to shut down this blog and start up again somewhere else but why the fuck should I. As I said it's a matter of principle.

WE must not let them win.


++++ Update ++++

The original mp4 video is now available to download here.

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Strictly Come Gording

Friday, 19 June 2009

Fuck You Gordon

None of that testicle tongue tickling thing that you do with Lord MandyBoys either.
Just shoot yourself in your fucking brainless head and fuck the fuck off!

In the meantime I've had lots of requests over the last few weeks to do an update of my original 'Fuck You' video. So, while your finding somewhere quiet to blow your fucking brains out, why not grab the laptop that's embedded in the Cabinet Office wall, watch the new version, and satisfy yourself that you and your fellow arsewipes are just not fucking wanted around here!

Fuck you!

Gordon's Redactions

Here's a couple of excellent examples of redaction mockery aimed at the unelected, mono eyed, bogey biting, glove puppet of Lord Manmuncher of Fondlecock . . . 

Tip of the pink oboe to Lawson Narse



Tip of the Gimp's mask to Gigits

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Redacted or not, WTF!

Ian Stewart MP.
Unber-fucking-lievable, you thieving cunt!

Hat tip Tory Bear

Maths not your strong point then Ian but that didn't seem to stop you becoming a Member of the Innovation, Universities, Science and Skills Committee in April 2008.

Give me fucking strength!

Hazel Must Go!



Tonight (Thursday) Hazel Blears faces a vote of no confidence from branches of Salford’s Labour Party.

They have to decide whether the blatant timing of her resignation from the Cabinet harmed the party’s vote at the Euro elections allowing the BNP to sneak in and get a North West seat…they have to decide whether the knife in Gordon Brown’s back was just a step too far…But more importantly they have to decide whether Hazel Blears can ever be elected again in Salford, in light of the expenses scandal. Is she now a liability, given that every single poll in Salford shows thousands and thousands of people turning against her?

So to help the 44 make up their minds, the Hazel Must Go! Campaign has called a demonstration outside the Salford Civic Centre in Swinton for 6pm. It’s not aligned to any political party and everyone and anyone in Salford is urged to attend – bring your own placards and banners, the national press will be there.

Plus, anyone can send an e-mail and support the Hazel Must Go! Campaign

Let's hope that the local party can pull this off and get rid of that poisonous, thieving little ginger minger for good!

Some previous posts about Hazel Blears:

The Best Little Whore House in Britain

If you want to see what the thieving Whore Houses of Parliament have been doing with their big black 'fuck the fuck off' marker pen, in yet another pathetic attempt to stop us finding out what a bunch of lieing, cheating, cash trousering, arrogant arsewipes they are, then go here:

Thankfully the Telegraph got there first and published without redaction.

Guido has plenty to say about it today too and check out this excellent work from Beau Bo D'Or.

Here Kitty Kitty

Kitty Ussher.


Done nothing wrong, more time with the family,
blah fucking blah dee bollocksy blah.

Well Kitty, pardon me for being a fucking nit picker but how the fuck does this quote of yours,
"As you know I also decided some time ago, completely for family reasons, that I would not be putting my name forward to contest the next general election. The hours of Parliament simply don't work with kids. There is no other reason for this decision."
stack up against the fact that you accepted the post of Exchequer Secretary to the Treasury just 12 days ago.

Mmmm, something doesn't quite add up there does it, a bit like your tax returns, you thieving little bitch.

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Scotland The Not Fucking Brave At All

I fucking shit you not!

Baroness Scotland (that'll be yet another unelected peer then) has defended the recommended sentences handed out by the judge last month for the murderers of Baby P, Peter Connelly.


The Attorney General has stated that the punishments for Tracey Connelly, Steven Barker, Jason Barker (or Jason Owen as they'd like us to call him) and Sharon Shoesmith are entirely merited and defended the minimum sentences that had been already handed out.

British justice is a FUCKING joke!


Pictures of all the murdering bastards can be found HERE


Dear Prime Minister . . .


That is all.

Monday, 15 June 2009

The Iraq Enquiry



Just like this one.

Lord Mandelson's Ultimate Goal

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Where's Gordon?

Hiding in his bunker playing Where's Wally, I would imagine, whilst Lord Manmuncher of Arse-ache gets on with running the country.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Meet the Real PM


click pic to enlarge and read the details

Friday, 12 June 2009

No10 pour Homme et pour Femme

click pic to enlarge

Call Centres. Aren't They Great!

Yeah right, like her name really is Tracey.

It's no wonder they put these call centres in another continent, is it?.  It's because when their employers fuck up your internet access and you have to resort to wasting your fucking time with endless calls to these so called 'customer-fucking-service-fucktard-advisors', all you want to do is throttle the fuckers. They don't listen, they stick rigidly to a bollocksy-fuck-wank of an inane script, written by a complete twat, and above all haven't got a fucking clue how to really help you.

All they CAN guarantee to do is to completely fuck you up until the blood vessels in your eyes start to pop. Then when they tell you they can't do anything to help you "at this moment in time", they have the brass neck to fucking well ask you . . . 

"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

Fuck off!
Just fuck the fucking fuckety fuck, fuck off!

That is all.

Orange Shite

Ok, so finally I am back.

Before I resume my 'appreciation' of the one eyed, snot gobbler there are a couple of issues that I need to take care of first.

Here's the first one . . . 

Thursday, 11 June 2009

G.O.T. An Announcement


It appears that I am being dicked around by somebody who would prefer that I didn't have any access to the internet at the moment. Fortunately I have now managed to rig up a temporary connection to Blogger, using 2 rusty old baked bean cans and a rather long length of piano wire just so that I can bring you this news.

I don't know what the fuck is going on but it's either BT or my ISP, both of whom say everything is fine, or it's something a little more sinister. Not that I'm paranoid.

Am I?

Phone lines have been red hot to the call centres, you know the ones, and all they are doing is fucking me around from pillar to post and back again. 

In the meantime though I'm one stroke short of being fucked although  thanks to a little bit of G.O.T. resolve I can now pick up emails and comments.

If anyone out there knows how I can try and tackle this then I would be grateful for your advice, as long as it doesn't involve a large rusty inanimate object and my arse!

Hope to be back soon but fuck knows when.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Gordon Brown Unplugged

I was watching Gordon's Labour 'luvvy love in' conference this afternoon,
 on Sky News, when this happened . . . . 



Somebody at Sky had obviously had enough of the snot gobbler spouting
his bollocks and decided to pull the plug.

Buy that person a drink!

Priceless.

Sorry about the poor quality but I thought it was still well worth sharing 

The Nokia GB 10


Gordon will definitely be giving his mobile the customary abuse once the Euro Election results start rolling in. Luckily this new model will take all the punishment he can throw at it. It's even waterproof! Especially useful for those 'under pressure' pant pissing moments. 

And if all else fails, which it probably will, he can always give Peter a call. He'll know what to tell him to do. Devious bastard!

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Grumpy Old Twat Top Trio

Once again I've picked a few of the excellent images from the blogosphere that have caught my eye and amused me recently.

Please click through on the links and check out their other work, you won't be disappointed . . . . 





OK, so there's four and there's no apologies for the Labour/unelected, monovisioned, urine stained, bogey feeding, testicle tickler theme either.

It's my blog and I'll do what the fuck I like!

TractorStats is Back!

Hat tip to TractorStats for the pic
(never thought I'd be saying that again!)

Yes that's right!
TractorStats is back in the blogosphere.
I shit you not.

I have just received an email from the master of 'Gordon photoshopping mockery' informing me that he's safe and well and is once again ready to show his distain, for the one eyed snot gobbler, in the blogosphere.

Brilliant news!

Please visit the genius, that is TractorStats, here and welcome him back with open arms.


Friday, 5 June 2009

Peter Gets Behind Gordon Again

FFS Bring Out The Dead


No Change There Then


Whilst our attention is being occupied by the comings and goings at Downing Street (more about that from me later) and the results of the local elections, Gordon Brown has obviously decided that this is a good day for burying bad news.

Thursday, 4 June 2009

iTwat