Wednesday 28 July 2010

NHS Spunks £7500 On High Tech Porn

Liverpool Women's NHS Foundation Trust have decided to fuck off the traditional jizz mags and spunk up £7,500 on a 'punishing percy in the palm' porn room. Yup, they've gone all high tech in an effort to give willing wankers a hand to deliver vital supplies of man juice.

Seems like a fairly stiff expense to me when these days all you really need is a half decent internet connection, dontcha think.

Have a read of the comments here, they're fucking priceless!*


Whoa! Hang on a fucking minute, things are looking up. It appears that a certain NHS staff member is more than happy to provide the real thing .... especially if you're dying for a shag ;-)
 

*Original story spotted by our Health and Well-Being Correspondent, MircoDave.
  (No. Don't ask)


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18 comments:

Bring On The Revolution said...

And of course they will be crying out for as much "Ethnically diverse" spunk as possible! So this is how OUR taxpayers money is being spunked up against the wall! What fucking wankers!!

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

I'm obviously working in the wrong field.

The Grim Reaper said...

It's nice to see that the NHS has got its priorities right in these difficult financial times, isn't it?

Shall we spend some money on drugs that will help cancer patients live longer? Nah, we'll spend it on creating a room with pornography instead.

I know I sound a bit like the Daily Mail here, but even they can be right occasionally!

Captain Haddock said...

I bet they even have their own special hymn ....

"O cum all ye faithful" ..... :-D :-D :-D

Oldrightie said...

Someone needs to get a grip on this.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Err, if the patient of the sex-crazed nurse was unwilling, how did she manage to get it done? ;)

Gildas said...

Why didnt they just ask me? I could have sold them my stash of gash mags for a mere £3,000!
Plus the costs of the fleet of trucks to move it, of course! :)
Gildas the Monk (well, there's not a lot else to do if you're a monk!)   :-[

Captain Haddock said...

The NHS paying for "man-fat" has been going on for at least the last 30 odd years, to my knowledge ..

Back in the very early 70's, a mate of mine was dating a Staff Nurse from Bart's Hospital (he later married her)  .. on the Fridays of his long weekends, he'd travel from Portsmouth to Waterloo & book a double room at the Union Jack Club for them both ..

Then, on the Saturday morning, he'd go to Bart's & take part in what was known as the "wank bank"  (burping his worm into a jar) for the princely sum of £15.00 in cash ..

Enough back then to pay for a decent meal for them both on the Saturday evening ...

There's nothing new under the sun ...   ;)

Joe Public said...

Wankers.

microdave said...

"<span>The NHS paying for "man-fat" has been going on for at least the last 30 odd years, to my knowledge .."  - You might have told me, I would be a fucking millionare by now.....</span>


NURSE!!!!!

Captain Haddock said...

Sorry Mate .. until I read this thread, I'd forgotten all about it ..

I do remember my mate saying that all they had were a few tatty, dog-eared "strop" mags, supplied by the Rugby-playing type Medical students who also used to attend in order to get their beer money ...   :-D :-D

Heads on poles said...

I've just come back from the pub and I've read this 3 times - what the fucking fuck?
I'll have another beer and try again - it can't be .....

microdave said...

They might find it rather hard.....

Heads on poles said...

Right, I refuse to have another wank unless I'm provided with lambs wool socks.

Captain Peacock said...

Its 'hard' to change the habits of 13 years of wasting taxpayers money. All these Liebour appointed jobsworths should have all been sacked when the new government took over. They would not spend this money without getting the approval of some top NHS jobsworth. Only yesterday some NHS jobsworth getting £250k for 97 days work and claiming £17k for food and travel. 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1298337/Fury-Bentley-driving-NHS-consultant-earning-2-557-A-DAY--nurse-earns-month.html

Ranter said...

No one has mentioned anything about an Islamic option.  I certainly hope there will be facilities provided with terror porn showing some beheadings, stonings and some foxy readings from the Koran, you know, the good bits!

microdave said...

The "YouTube Video Of The Week" that Gotty posted earlier should really do the trick. That should encourage some explosive orgasms...

Captain Haddock said...

Or perhaps this might do the trick ? ....   =-O >:o :-D :-D :-D