Wednesday, 29 September 2010

I Don't Give A Flying Fuck .....

..... about this cunt and I don't give a flying fuck about this cunt, both of them are just playing the system to their own ends. However, what I do give a flying fuck about are what these these cunts are up to, they are also playing the system to their own ends and appear to be heading for victory .... totally unopposed:

Welcome to Tower Hamlets in particular and Londonistan in general.

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Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Ed Taliband

Via satellite phone, from the caves of Afghanistan, footage of the first official overseas endorsement of Ed Miliband as the new anti-capitalist leader of the Labour party ......

via dioclese

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Monday, 27 September 2010

Labour Party Conference Placard

A blank canvas to work with ... so do your worst. I'll do some versions to include the best couple of slogans and reproduce them here, if I can be arsed. Or just have a go yourself and send them in. Try and keep the messages shortish or they just won't fucking fit. Simples ;-)

The labels for this post would be my contribution
although not necessarily in that order .....

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Sunday, 26 September 2010

Dickhead Video of the Week

Tilt of the head to Brickbat for the spot ;-)

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Chilean Miners In New Peril?

This is a genuine screen grab (not 'shopped, honest) and the site I spotted it on can be found here. How the fuck Jonah Brown's ugly fizzog got on that report, fuck only knows, and if all those Chilean miners weren't doomed before they certainly run the risk of being so now. On the other hand ..... maybe they should send the pant pissing, pill popping, global gonad gobbling twat down there for good ..... once they have fetched up all the miners of course.

Cue your very best 'brown miner' jokes .......

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Ed Miliband on Marr Show + Exclusive Photo +

You can tell Ed Miliband is new to the job can't you ..... Andrew Marr would've already had the 'go easy' message, hours ago, from his Labour biased BBC colleagues. Still, nothing like making sure though, eh Ed.

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Political Poster Redux

Remember the last time a jew was the leader of a major political party, here in the UK, and Labour compared him to Fagin in their original smear poster?

Imagine the outcry if his face were to be replaced by Red Ed's  ......

Tip of the yarmulke to ASE for the inspiration ;-)

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Saturday, 25 September 2010

Labour Leadership Contest ++Updated++


Ed Miliband Forest Gump is the
new leader of the Labour Party.

What a total inbred fuckwit.

That'll be Labour consigned to political oblivion
for another 10 fucking years then.

Good. The twatting cunts.


iDave's official response (ahem) to the
new liebore leader is available HERE

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Ed The Red Or Bananaman The Yellow?

Forest Gump or The Alien?

The "big" announcement is due in exactly one hour.

Will it be the one who looks like a rapist or the one who looks like he has Down's Syndrome? A nation waits with baited breath, and other oral disorders.

Victory by the younger irritating wonkish one would delight the BBC and others who think that freedom is overrated, and a triumph by the other one would dismay hair-dye manufacturers everywhere. Considering how skilfully they both dodged a big inheritance tax bill, accountants will be delighted whatever the result with all the extra business that bad publicity generates. Bring on the attack dogs!

You can cut the tension with...a..blunt cutty cunty thing.

Cross posted from HERE

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Friday, 24 September 2010

Thank Fuck It's Friday [Part 11]

Yes! Thank fuck for that and I can finally get down the local tonight for a few pints and a decent bit of pub grub. Mind you, I don't think I'll be swinging by The Golden Fleece Inn at Tremadog, for a burger, anytime soon.

After watching this highly informative documentary, which has now been banned by YouTube, you can probably see my point .....

Look out for the dog at the end of the film ..... says it all really. Priceless!

Incidentally, this isn't the end of the 'shittiest burger in Wales' story, there's much more to tell. Watch this space for the next installment ;-)

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Thursday, 23 September 2010

It's About Time ....

.... that this bloke had his own fucking blog!

Fuck me! Looks like he's finally taken the plunge HERE.

Good ;-)

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Commonwealth Games Controversy Continues

Amidst horrendous stories of structural and hygine problems the Indian host for the Games, Delhi, has now come under even more increasing criticism following the official unveiling of the XIX Commonwealth Games ring:

Click image to enlarge

Further details available here.

Flash of the ring to Joe Public for the inspiration

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Monday, 20 September 2010

Pope Astronomer To Baptise Aliens?

Apparently so.

Extra terrestrial lifeforms would be welcomed into the church "no matter how many tentacles" says senior Vatican scientist, Brother Guy Consolmagno.

Tip of ET's finger to Ampers, for the inspiration ;-)

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Sunday, 19 September 2010

I Wonder What He's Saying ......

.... and what she is thinking?

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Saturday, 18 September 2010

Lazy Education In Norwich

Or. if you prefer, 'Gotty's Piss Boiler of the Week'.

It appears that Norwich County Council have the perfect solution to help bone idle teenage students achieve educational greatness, and deliver outstanding results, in the ever competitive arena of university places and/or full time employment.

The City Academy Norwich, or CAN as it's now become known. 

So what the fuck will be going on in this CAN which, incidentally, is set to cost more than 24 million quid to implement? More hard graft? Longer hours? Improved discipline? Better teachers?


They're going to give the lazy little bastards even more lie-ins and turn the classroom (oh, sorry that should be 'learning space') into a "well motivated child's bedroom" by chucking out the traditional school desks and chairs and kitting them out with bean bags, round tables and sofas. (No mention of half eaten bits of toast, dirty underwear, shit loads of make up, a roll-on deodorant mountain or soiled tissues - as yet)

And if that wasn't enough, they're not even going to bother teaching the little scrotes anymore either. Staff will 'delivering the lessons' with a 'project based approach to learning' with the aid of 'learning spaces' that have flexible walls (what. the. fuck.) and a giant 30ft interactive screen that students, staff and parents will use to access the internet and check on timetables and lessons online gaming forums.

click on image to read more - if your blood pressure can take it

I don't know about anyone else but my piss has all but boiled dry, after reading that, and there are definite forehead imprints appearing on my desk as I finish conveying it in this post.

Twenty four fucking million quid! For what?

Give me fucking strength.

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Friday, 17 September 2010

Thank You

Despite the fact that I have in no way touted for votes during the fat poof's 'Annual Reach Around Contest'(©ASE), it appears that this blog seems to have done rather well by finishing 28th in the Right Wing (whatever the fuck that means) Political Blog listings.

Personally, I wouldn't normally give a flying fuck about how well, or how badly, I do in any poll or list or ranking ..... but this time it's different. There is only one reason that I can think of for having done so well in this year's 'contest'. Many, many readers of this blog must have taken the time and the trouble to email in their votes.

So, the very least you deserve from me is a THANK YOU.

More than that I cannot say because, to be honest, I'm just too fucking embarrassed and this kind of thing ain't too good for maintaining a high level of grumpiness.

Having said that, there is more than enough fuckwittery about the place to keep me grumpy ad infinitum but sometimes it just gets so bad that it's much better to laugh than to cry tears of anger. Unless you're this twat of course, in which case I would just stick to the crying ....

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Looks Fine to Me Vince

Original story HERE

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Thursday, 16 September 2010

Another Priest Pulls Out During Pope's Visit


But sshh, it'll be a secret.

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Amazon Customer Images

Well ..... it seemed rude not to add one of my own:

Not sure how long it will last though but it was still there the last time I looked ;-)

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Wednesday, 15 September 2010

EU What! +++ Updated +++

The EU has begun formal moves to demand that the United Nations recognises it as State. I am currently drowning in a tsunami of boiling piss at the moment but IPJ sums it up well HERE.

Image by Lawson.

Meanwhile, how long will it be before this becomes illegal .......

+++ UPDATE +++
Van Rompuy and Ashton have been prevented from addressing the UN assembly next week by the Arab, African, Latin America and Caribbean nations but not by Britain.

Ok then, seeing as the bullshitting Cleggeron Cunnilition don't have the balls then I guess it's up to me to say what everyone else is thinking .......

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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Time To Say Goodbye

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Monday, 13 September 2010

Let's Get Ourselves Banned From The USA In Just One Sentence - Competition

A British teenager has been banned from America for life for sending Barack Obama an abusive email. No great loss but what the fuck did he say that got the FBI into such a rage that they ordered the British police to issue the 17 year old with the ban, in person? Apparently, Luke Angel (yes, that really is his name) called the President .......... "a prick".

President Obama is a prick

Fucking hell, is that all? What a disappointment.

Surely we can do better than that, can't we?

Come on then, do your worst, you know you want to .......

Tags: FBI, President Obama, Prick

PS. The Eye and I have been trying our best over here, with a total of 7 nominations so far. Although neither of us have had an urgent visit from the FBI as yet. Unless they called while we were down at the off licence, of course ;-)

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Police Farce Of The Day

On 27th August, this year, West Mercia Police announced 287 job losses (198 civilian posts and 98 officer roles) in an effort to save £10 million from their budget.

Today, 17 days later, West Mercia Police announced the go ahead of a new gatehouse and driveway for their Hindlip Headquaters, at a cost of £3 million pounds, in an effort to "raise more money" in the long term.

Excuse me but how the fucking fucketty fuck does all that work then?

Surely their priority is to 'police' the West Mercia region .... with police officers ..... not fucking driveways and gatehouses! Whatever the fuck next? More police officer job losses in favour of a big  conservatory, out back?

And another thing ... I see Mark 'the maniac' Andrews is still walking the streets after being jailed for attacking a member of the public. Yep, he's been released on bail, pending his appeal. Obviously not considered a danger to the public then.

Give me fucking strength!

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Sunday, 12 September 2010

Help Yourself

Due to my continuing internet access problems, no thanks to this bunch of broadband fucking arsewipes ......

.... and by way of a change, I've selected a few items from around the blogosphere for you to take a look at and pass comment on, either here or there. Some are new, some are older but, IMHO if you haven't come across them before, they offer an excellent choice of piss boiling, un-fucking believable and amusing posts:

The Paedophile and The Labour Politician
"Convicted paeodophile Derek Slade, 61, escaped police for years using an alias with the knowledge of a Labour politician at the heart of Britain’s justice system" Calling England

How Far Away Is Far Enough?
"To clarify for those who close their eyes and ears to such things, here's how close human remains were found to the proposed Mosque" All Seeing Eye

Child Abusers and Snuff Rings
"These fucking animals are peppered throughout our government, our courts, our police, and our legal establishments" Captain Ranty

Selection of Papal Visit Souvenirs
"Just throw your intoxicating mixture into our '3 Hail Marys Cocktail Shaker' and shake away for a perfect drink and instant absolution" Dioclese

PCSO Ahmed Butt
"I'm actively trying to get the terms "PSCO", "Ahmed Butt" and "lazy cunt" to stick together in search engines" Corrugated Soundbite

Research Has Found
"Is there so much money floating around that they have to throw it at “research” that is not only an incredible waste of money and time, but provides results that are utterly useless?" Grandad

Oh, and ISAC had it's 100,000th visitor today. Cuntishness, with regard to the cuntitude of others, is obviously quite popular then ;-)

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Saturday, 11 September 2010

Don't Burn That, Burn This

Fuck burning the Koran, Qu'ran, Qoran, Islamicarsewipe or however the fuck else anyone feels like spelling it today, I've got a much better idea. I suggest we burn this fucker instead.... the Lisbon Treaty.

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Burn A Koran Day

So the burning question is ...... will he won't he?

Pastor Terry Jones is obviously a couple of pages short of a bible but he's harmless enough. So what's all the fucking fuss about? At least he's only threatening to burn someone else's book, not fly a couple of fully laden aircraft into a building or two. For fuck's sake.

Meanwhile, in other world news .......

Tug of the beard to Conan for the inspiration ;-)

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Friday, 10 September 2010

Thank Fuck It's Friday [Part 10]

Well I saw some comical 'news' today that brightened up my week no end. Apparently, via Gary Gibbon, Gordon Brown is all set to be the 'warm up man' on the saturday prior to the forthcoming Labour Conference. He feels it would be right to say a few words before handing over the torch to the new Labour leader. Torch? Fuck me! Considering the forgone conclusion that is the Labour leadership election, I think Billy has a much better idea.

Either way, I shall certainly be setting my hard drive to record during that event as, apart from typically  excessive uses of the word 'global' (place your bets on how many), it will almost certainly prove to be a comedy goldmine.

I also heard a rumour, via the ever satirical Lakelander, that the swivel eyed McSnotty may well be busy on another 'saturday project' very soon. In conjunction with the BBC (Brown's Broadcasting Channel) he plans to launch 'Mincing With The Stars', where various sporting has-beens, soap-opera performers that nobody has fucking heard of and clapped-out politicians that no longer have troughing rights, will all be taught the dubious skills of the mince by a suitably renamed Gordon Du Brown.

That 'news' instantly reminded me of a video I did just over a year ago and seeing as it's Friday, thank fuck, I thought I'd give it another airing ......

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