Albeit very, very slowly.
Lincolnshire police farce has unveiled its latest weapon in the fight against crime. They've even fitted it with a flashing blue light, just in case of a high speed chase.
Is it just me or has the whole world gone fucking mad.
50 comments:
And yet Lincolnshire are prosecuting an ambulance driver trying to deliver a liver on time The world is going mad Did no one tell anyone?
Thats got to be one of your photoshops right?
Its never real
It is real, Bucko.
My son-in-law is a knob of a copper, and he's cunt enough to come up with shit like this.
His 'superiors' are cunt enough to be convinced that shit like this is good.
Coppers are such utter cunts, nowadays, whether sponsored by John Deere or not.
Quite.
I shit you not.
'twas sent in by our agricultural and rural affairs correspondent, microdave. I'm still picking my jaw up off the fucking floor!
The building in the background is Lincolnshire police head quarters. Every other fucker on the road is tractor around here, so why not.
They should drive it to Skegness and see how many moron fucking bikers slam into the back on the way.
And what the fuck's wrong with a British tractor. If they really do feel that they've got to pointlessly piss more cash up the fucking pig sty wall, why use Krauty Krap.
With all the cutbacks they should have been given a little grey "Fergie" - plenty good enough...
<span>They'd be too fucking busy chasing butternut squash thieves ... I should imagine.</span>
Can't be any fucking slower ;)
Thought those old Fergies ran on TVO - I'd like to see a few dickhead coppers singe their cuffs trying to mix that up...
Jesus Christ Almongty, I thought I'd slept through the summer and it was fucking April already. What the fuck were they thinking? Low speed pursuits of dangerous felons wanted for saying 'Ooo aaar' with intent to annoy? Or have they been thinking of people as sheep for so fucking long they've got interested in the real ones? And the other stuff? A Segwey for the cops when the bloody things are effectively banned to everyone else, how very fucking unusual. And cuntish. Roller-blading bobbies - yeah, I bet they didn't feel at all like tits.
The only ones I've got any respect for are the Italian cops, because whatever they said to get their paws on a marked Lambo to play with was almost certainly weapons grade bullshit, but despite that someone said fuck it and gave them one anyway. And I'd far rather be pulled by a genially corrupt Italian in designer sunnies and a Lambo than some twenty year old, power mad, zit faced, epic cunt in a diesel Astra. Just my 2¢.
Or a shitload of PCSOs. ;)
Key thing to note about the tractor. It is being LENT by John Dere to the Lincolnshire force. So it's a bit of publicity for JD. Something which a police force should not get involved in. Basically the police are using it to advertise their latest "project".
An excellent 2 cents worth.
I'm with you on the Lambo .... I mean if you're going to get a sponsored vehicle, it might as well be something that's worth having a wank over. FFS!
And the there's the running costs etc. Who the fuck is paying for those .... need I ask.
I hope the Police now invest in a Caravan with blue flashing lights - and maybe also a kebab van with suitable livery as well. Twats.
I've driven a Fergie - the first "Modern" tractor which introduced the 3 point linkage that is now universal. As far as I recall there were petrol/paraffin versions, and a normal diesel. One thing that G.O.T me stumped was how to start the bloody thing..... I had to ask the farmers daughter!
Harry Ferguson was a brilliant man, and he avoided the risk of an inexperienced person starting in gear, by linking the starter to the gear lever. It only engaged in a "blank" position opposite reverse!
A lovely little machine, and lots of them are still in daily use - particularly around the Fens & Lincolnshire, so it would be a more appropriate choice than JD, and they have a fair turn of speed, as well...
<span>Fuck yeah! They'll also be needing a JCB to help combat all that builders' crack crime too.</span>
That would be good - we could all say, "I fookin hate pikey plod" ! Christ, I didn't think anything could be worse than stupid plod, but fuck me, Pikey plod.....
Well I'll go t't foot of our stairs!
Had a friend at school whose dad sold Massey Ferguson tractors. His dad let us clamber all over the shiny new ones in the showroom. Nearly peed myself. Awesome.
Pikey plod! An amalgamation from hell!
I'm surprised he hasn't offered Myers the job. Maybe he doesn't like sloppy seconds though ;)
Meanwhile a report in Thursdays Telegraph tells of a rural (unidentified, probably Lincs) police force launching the County Police Helicoptor to hunt down an alleged kindling thief on complaint from some Forest Warden cunt. Police withdrew after they established that taking kindling from a wood is not an offence ( and indeed is an ancient common law right that you might think a "Forest Warden" might know about).
With an item of clothing sponsored by Burberry. Quality.
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Off topic, but I've finally worked out how to make my gravatar appear here. Didn't see the log in bit. I feel like such an idiot that I'd be suitable for the Lincolnshire Chief Cuntstubble position.
Un-fucking-believable! What a fucking scandalous waste of taxpayer's money! It's all to do with this diversity awareness bollocks, next we'll have pink tractors for the lesbian, gay and transexual farming community, then it will be old bill livery on Transits and caravans for the gypsy and traveller pikey scum community, then of course rickshaws in muzzie Paki infested areas to "help the blessed fucking Muslim community feel at home" The Old Bill are nothing but a bunch of utterly useless Labour/muzzie/faggot/pikey/other assorted scum luvvie CUNTS obsessed with homophobe/Islamofuckingphobe "Hate crime" bollocks!!!
If they let farmers use their shotguns I reckon tractor thefts would be a thing of the past. No need to go showing off at the county show giving out "serious messages" about the need to smartwater your vehicle. As for using them in the event of an earthquake, WTF.
The National Union of Farmers don't fare any better. Paying for the spray job and coming out with utter shite like this "<span></span>NFU's regional director, Richard Hezlet, has warned farmers to 'remain vigilant' against agricultural thieves." Patronising twat.
I want one of these...
Fast: An officer from the Sussex force rides a three-wheeled Can-Am Spyder Roadster touring trike. It has a top speed of 125mph and a 0-60mph acceleration of just 4.5 seconds - the same as a Porsche 911 Carrera<span></span>
Buy Gotty, if you can't supply me with one of these, I'd settle for a Lambo Gallado, I would enjoy 200 MPH in Oxford Street.
Although, in my "E type" in the sixties at two o'clock in the morning, I dod make 110 mph in the Marlebone Road!!! And, didn't get caught.
Ampers
I wonder if they will be filling it with road diesel or red diesel.
From the article: "The tractor will be displayed at shows to highlight police work but could also be used in the event of severe flooding or an environmental disaster."
Sounds like it is a tractor that will be stood doing nothing for most of the time. I would expect many rural fire services have already made similar provisions on a voluntary basis. Now and then there are reports of flood rescues involving farmers helping the fire brigade get about. It's not unusual. They're not after attention. Just people helping out when they can. Unlike this PR exercise.
Molotov cocktails are immensely useful against the Police, the ultra-extremist-far-left-UAF-NUJ-BBC-Police.
Just some friendly advice... that's all.
One has to wonder who the 'real' enemy is... 95 percent of the chip wrappers... i.e. 'News' papers are owned by 6 Zionists...
... The Murdochs being the main propagandists...
... but hey,... there's footy, big brother, family fortunes, cheep cider, and the Lib-Con-Trick to brainwash ... 'the hardworking public'.
FFS... wake up
Fucking priceless Spackers!
Nice one ;)
Nobody's that fucking stupid. Surely ;)
WTF! And however much did that cost us!
"<span>110 mph in the Marlebone Road"</span>
And in an E Type! What a fucking star you are ;)
And not forgetting the X Factor generation. Give me strength.
And not forgetting the X Factor generation. Give me strength.
"<span>pink tractors for the lesbian, gay and transexual farming community". FFS, don't start giving the fuckwits ideas </span><span> ;) </span>
Absolutely brilliant .. :) :) :)
I'd agree that its a load of old bollocks Gotty ..
But in fairness .. the Tractor is on "loan" from John Deare .. and the "badging" of it was paid for by the NFU, so in reality .. it hasn't cost Lincs Police (and thus the Taxpayer) anything .. The only thing to come from the public purse will be the fuel costs ..
As one commentator said ... "Crops n' Robbers" .. and I can't better that one .. ;)
I thought that HRH the Duke of Pork had cornered the market in high-mileage "Fergies" ... ;)
I assume it must be a health and safety thing. Chasing stolen cars and the like at high speed is awfully dangerous, don't you know? So the police are putting our safety first and instead using tractors that go at a maximum speed of 12 miles per day. That'll get crime under control!
Fucking twats.
Well, there's the fucktroon who ordered that tractor... :-D
Well, there's the fucktroon who ordered that tractor... :-D
<p>I've heard about these Pikey Police. Aren't they the ones who come up to you and say that they were doing some arrests in the area, and since they've got a few left over they're prepared to nick you for no particular reason in return for some of your valuable time, during which they'll also relieve you of some of your DNA, freedom and, if possible, dignity? And when you want to complain to someone nobody in a position to do anything will give a flying fuck about it?
</p><p>
</p><p>Oh, hang on a minute...
</p>
<span>Publicity stunt, idiocy, ridiculous, call it what you like, all I know is that this vehicle would be entirely unnecessary if farmers were given 'carte blanche' to be able to shoot the thieving pikey and east European cunts who are stealing farm equipment, unlike the way Tony Martin was treated a few years back. Twelve bore cartridges are relatively cheap in comparison to tractors, and a lot more convincing.</span>
My sentiments exactly FH!!!
For a twin engine chopper like that you would be talking of 4 figures per hour, minimum...
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