Per week he gets around £100,000 'playing' for his club, £200,000 for image rights (whatever the fuck that means), £20,000 from Nike, £4,000 from EA computer games and another £3,000 from Coca Cola. That's a grand total of £327,000 a week ..... for an hour and half's work, poncing around on a field, swearing at the referee, teaching young kids to grow up as same-self arrogant arseholes and to occasionally kick a bag full of air between two white sticks.
Oh, and for good measure that dumb fuck of a checkout bint Coleen, that he's married to, got over £40,000 a month for 'writing' a column in OK magazine and a further £13,000 every time she appeared on some ITV bollocksy 2, mind numbing televisual delight called Real Women.
Don't get me wrong, good luck to anyone that can get such an obscene amount of dosh, for donkeying around on a patch of grass with the arrogant fuck you attitude of a politician, but where's the fucking incentive for representing your Country of birth and for wearing the England football team shirt with pride.
And multi millionaire, beardy weirdy monkey boy wonders why the fuck he gets booed by people who have paid thousands of pounds of their hard earned cash, to show support for their country, only to be rewarded with a lack lustre, talentless, no bang for the buck, passionless, piss poor performance like that.
Multiply that by 11 or so and throw in an 'I'm only in it in for the money' irate I-tie and it's no fucking wonder that the England Team will all be coming home on Thursday. Incidentally, don't forget that there is another reason we were doomed to failure before the tournament even started.
Thank goodness my interest lies with cricket, and not football, because those boys play with a real passion .... that's why they won the T20 World Cup recently, with ease, even though it wasn't easy. That's because they played with passion and pride .... and they worked damn fucking hard at it.
Good lads!
+++UPDATE+++
Here's a topical Toy Story 3 take on the intellectual talents of Wayne 'half baked' Rooney, courtesy of that truely talented chap Lakey .......
41 comments:
I said yesterday that someday, someone would be able to tell the whole farce better than me. No messing about there I see, Gotty ;)
Couldn't have put it better myself!
Well, that's what I call a very grumpy blast! Just listened to an England player insisting "we're great team". Really Jermaine? Maybe one of the characteristics is a great team is that they win, play well, or accept adversity with grace, Wayne. Oh, and they usually have one extra quality - intelligence. Listen to Marcel Desailly analyse a game in English (his second or third language?) for example. Or Patrick Veira. Or Seedoff. There are no "sick parrots", they do not give "all credit to the lads", they are erudite, intelligent, mature men. Hence capable of thinking during a game, not just running about like a bunch of Council estate hoodlums running from the rozzers. Hence they are World Cup winners. We are not.
With the possibly noble exception of David James (who trashed Fabio Capello's management in 2 brutally delivered word last night, and who knew exactly what he was doing) they are, on the whole, best described as - thick.
Out thought and thus outplayed, they are the wild, howling barbarian horde easily massacred by the disciplined application of roman military analysis.
Ironic that Fabio is in charge!
Gildas
Maybe best summed up by an England fan as they left the pitch:
"Go on, get back to your limousines"
Enuff said
You should have seen the England rugby team this morning against Oz. Now that was commitment. Dan Cole playing with a huge cut over his left eye which was almost shut. No fucking wimps there let me tell you. No diving, no fucking prima donnas and they earn a bloody sight less than the over-paid under-brained louts who call themselves soccer players.
Anybody up for getting eleven people together, flying out to South Africa by Wednesday, and giving the mighty Slovakia a fucking game? I can trap a bag of cement with my foot nine times out of ten, pass a ball up to ten yards, and I will play with passion. Therefore by simple definition, I'm better than Heskey...Or Rooney...Or Lampard....
That's something I like about Aussie Rules - the players get a decent salary but not obscene amounts of money. What Rooney gets in a week would probably pay the whole year's wages for one star player and a few also-rans. But I can think of at least one who looks like a monkey, another that looks like a hyena, two that have noses like a capsized boat and half a team that should really only be allowed to play night games with the lights off.
Well said. I hated football at school, and I've seen no reason to like it ever since...
Were this bunch of cunts not bugged in their dressing room a few months ago discussing how they were going to carve up their World Cup appearance money?
I'm with you on the cricket Gotty, and at least with cricket the barracking is humorous. Went to a T20 against the Aussies last summer, pissed down and was abandoned half way through but at least I got my money's worth from the banter from the Aussie fans sat behind us.
Much more original than "your going to get your fuckin' head kicked in"
In the spirit of "all being in this mess together", shouldn't these people be taking HUGE cuts in salary to help the country out....
Oh and maybe going to some night classes and learning to play football?
What exactly is it that Rooney has that is worth all that money.... remind me please, I seem to have forgotten.
Great pic, GOT. He is a whiny baby and he better loose lots of those endorsement deals when he comes back. It's too bad all the good England Fans wasted their money going out there. Of course, you link guaranteed a failure, curse of Jonah again. drat.
Have a nice weekend anyway. :*
Very well said Gotty .. I couldn't agree more.
Judging by the amount of noise around where I live at about 2300 last night (Tarts screeching, Morons chanting & some arsehole with an air horn) you'd have thought they were at least celebrating the second coming, Victory in Afghanistan Day or something similar .. rather than a piss-poor draw against a bunch of ragged-arsed, camel-molesting, sand-scratchers ..
As for "Boo-hoo" Rooney .. the only talent he possesses is being a scouse yob .. in spades ...
Why must England fans be so greedy wanting the Footall World Cup when
they allready are the World Champions at standing outside pubs with a wet
fag looking like total prats. Never content
As for the advanced state of human decay called cricket watched by the
mummified unwanted,we cannot be really serious ,can we ?
Where did it all go so dramatically wrong
HarHar-defuckin'-HarHar!
That bunch o' cunts in white are almost pish enough to be Scottish!
And you soft southern pansies whining into your warm bitter makes for better entertainment than anything those fuckwits did last night. What would make it sublime would be for Slovenia to win One-Nil and for Rooney to go psycho when he finds John Terry slipping it to Coleen.
(A B E for me!)
Well said. What a bloody shower of piss that was.
But cricket? Really? Snooker. Its the future.
Please, whatever you do .. don't assume that we're all England supporters, or indeed Football fans at all ...
Personally, I consider the whole charade to be absolute bollocks & can't wait for it to be over (but then I feel the same way about sport in general) ..
I certainly don't care whether England wins the World Cup .. or whether they win this bastard (which might actually be more appropriate, in the circumstances) ..
http://www.mooncup.co.uk/
Then we've got to suffer the terminal boredom of Wombledon & adolescent temper tantrums of that cunt Murray ...
Too fucking right!
I don't even like football but I do hate can't-be-fucking-arsed twats when they are supposed to be representing their Country.
"... <span>like a bunch of Council estate hoodlums running from the rozzers ..."</span>
Brilliant description!
Much more like it, eh Cato.
Proper, passionate, professional sportsmen.
Back in the days of 'jumpers for goal posts' I used to manage a pretty mean dribble with a space hopper, so I should be good to go too!
Tough as fuck, those Aussie Rules boys and I certainly can't see the likes of namby-pamby Rooney et al, lasting 2 minutes over there.
The ability to play like an arse whilst taking like one ........ I should imagine.
Spot on and have a great weekend yourself Bunnikins ;)
(Now I'm typing like one)
'Talking', even.
'mummified unwanted'?
There's no need for that. Gentlemen and players would probably tell you to 'fuck off, my good man'.
Silicone tampons!
How the fuck did you (pun alert) come across those Cap'n.
No. Please don't ell me ;)
I could live with Snooker at a push (did you see what I did there) but I'll wait 'til the lovlee laydees get a bit more air time before I start chalking my tip!
I hate to say it Grumpy but like the politicians, the people get what they deserve. People will pay to watch these overpaid, foul mouthed, illiterate, disrespectful, unsportsmanlike, arrogant, tossers, prance around like primadonnas.
£327k a week is obscene for kicking a football. I mean, considering that your average working class Joe earns £16k a year for 2k hours, to think Rooney is paid £327k for 1.5 hours is utterly abysmal, abhorrent and despicable. It means that Rooney earns in 1.5 hours, what your average Joe would in over 20 years (438,000 hrs) and I've not taken off tax for the working man.
This is the main reason I loathe football. It teaches our young to be disrespectful to others and pins the dream within of just wanting to be footballers. I bet if we dropped their salaries by 95%, not only would we see a better team but more importantly a better educated and thinking public, currently overdosing on football and celebrity culture.
Well said!
Well said!
Almost forgot .....
All future televised England matches are being moved to the Gay Adult channel. Apparently, the sight of 11 arseholes frequently getting hammered for 90 mins was far too explicit for BBC or ITV.
Yep, Rooney & co would be fucked.The playing area is so much bigger that AFL players have to run much further than soccer or rugby players do. The big news in the game recently is that they've poached a couple of players from Rugby League, and one debuted last weekend. Despite all the extra fitness training - and he's a professional athlete to begin with, remember - he went off burned out and cramping in the third quarter and didn't come back on. And he was playing up front where they don't have to run around quite as much as the midfielders do. Can you imagine that jug eared scouse gravy bag coping? Jesus. Maybe one of the more desperate teams might use him to run messages from the coach to the players, but they'd probably want to teach him to speak English first.
Talking about Rooney must have awakened my inner mong and made me forget to put my name to that.
Jesus!
I nearly shit myself just reading that piece of yours and I'm no push over. Rooney wouldn't even make it out of the dressing room. He'd be sat on the floor, in the corner, sucking his thumb, cuddling his teddy bear and crying for his mummy.
Put it this way. They tagged players and I think umpires with little GPS trackers a few years back, and found the average distance they're doing over the course of a single game was something like 15km. Just the average, mind you. The front and back line a bit less but the midfielders a bit more, and for most it was about 10km of walk/jog/slow run and about 5km near flat out. Oh, and some of them have a good old run around before the game as part of their warm up routine.
I reckon Rooney would need his fucking Bentley to even keep up.
I couldn't think of a suitably apt comparison for the World Cup Gotty ..
So I just Googled "cup" & found that .. it seemed quite appropriate for the bunch of cunts collectively known as the "England" Team .. :-D :-D
Ahhh .. if only we could return to the "golden" years of Snooker, with Fred & Joe Davis, Ray Reardon, Dennis Taylor .. et al ...
Although .. I reckon nude, All-Female Snooker would be a sure-fire hit & have everyone "chalking" their tips and eager to "rack-up" their balls ... :-P :-P :-P
(Just had a second thought there .. Diane Flabbot, Jo Brand & Hattie Hormones would have to be exempt) .. >:o >:o
I remember a couple of years back I read an interesting article in the paper from a journalist whom like you and I pretty much loathe the game for a multitude of reasons. He came up with a very interesting solution:
Take all footballers in the UK and split them into two teams with one wearing red and the other blue. Put them all in a massive pitch, say the size of a London borough and enclose it. Do not allow spectators and just make the two huge teams play each other constantly day and night. Eventually all involved will get bored, the public won't be watching it so won't care and then we'll eventually see the end of the "beautiful game."
Ha ha .. That should have the likes of Fatty Dale, McEgan, Haslam, Broxted etc cumming their cocoa .. (or cumming in their cocoa) .. :-D :-D :-D
Ps .. Any chance of a "smiley" for "puking", please Gotty ??
... and make sure the gates are locked so that can't get out again.
Ever ;)
Love to help out Cap'n but the smiley thingies are pre-loaded and, not being technically minded, I wouldn't have a clue how to add another.
Unless someone can help with advice?
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