Saturday, 21 November 2009

What The Fuck. Literally.

"I have a huge grin on my face all the time, and it's not just because of the orgasms" says Michelle, the 300 orgasms a day woman who has finally found a man to satisfy her exhausting sexual requirements.

What the fuck, indeed!

Now I've heard some pretty varied excuses for work shy, lardy arsed chavs to avoid hard graft, whilst we pay for their Stella, fags and plasma TV's via the benefits system, but this one takes the fucking biscuit.

Literally.

This permanently vibrating piece of lard had to quit her job at the biscuit factory because the machines kept 'setting her off'. Lazy cunt. Actually that's wrong, it's just the rest of her that is.

This video interview is something else. Watch and weep . . . .



And what does Andrew the stallion do for a fucking living?
He's an industrial cleaner.

Fucking priceless!



Jacqui and Hazel discuss their new exercise bike.
Apparently it's called the Harriet Harmoniser

18 comments:

Corrugated Soundbite said...

I remember some other bird was in the gutter press claiming something similar a few months back.

She was better looking than that fat, lazy old spunkbucket though...

Captain Haddock said...

Ferkin' Nora .. looking at that old cum-dump, it must be like pulling on a well worn Sea boot ..

Barking Spider said...

I don't know what the fuck he's smirking about! Two right divots, they are!

Tyburn Jig said...

I've got SOPMTMTTUMS:

Sick Of Paying My Tax Money To Those Useless Morons Syndrome.

Goodnight Vienna said...

We're paying taxes to a woman who can't work because of 300 orgasms a day? Do me a favour.

I've got nothing left to say - feet on the street.
wordver is disesese which is a shuddering syllable longer than that worthless cple will contract.

banned said...

All very well but who the fuck would want to shag that ? I'd rather have relations with an old sandal rescued from a skip.

Jayce Kay said...

I'd sooner drill a hole in a telegraph pole.

Gareth said...

Are we sure she wasn't sacked from the biscuit factory for eating them?

Dark Lochnagar said...

She must spend all day in the lavvy ringing out her knickers, the dirty fat fucker. I bet you can smell her fanny before you can see her. Fuck, I'm getting abit carried away, I like PLUMP birds. Not that fucking PLUMP mind you.

Anonymous said...

She`s a witch! Burn her! Burn her!

Oldrightie said...

I don't feel too well.

Fidothedog said...

So she leaves work, gets a payout an claims she is having orgasms 24/7.

You would think if that was the case her climaxing all the time would burn off a bit of blubber.

It would appear that myth has been busted by this particular land whale.

Shades Of Ansel said...

Bet it costs them a fortune in Talc.'Go on then love.Cover yourself in talc,then fart to give me a clue.'I think she's confusing orgamasms with the natural movement of fat bouncing around her belly.This guy must be well fucking hung tho to get anywhere near this bucket of dripping lard.

microdave said...

"Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome"

WTF??? - Is there now a syndrome for absolutely anything?

Give me strength.....Hopefully she will soon get SUDS - Sudden Adult Death Syndrome!

Anonymous said...

Whatabout a Syndrome as a cover all.I am lazy fucking useless cunt and dont want to work. Will that cover it?.

Captain Haddock said...

I bet she really got the "Tin Tack" for making the Digestives all soggy .. and one shudders to even think about Custard Creams ..

Mirtha Tidville said...

She gives a whole new meaning to Jaffa Cakes.......

Anonymous said...

rather hump a cactus than do her