Wednesday, 7 October 2009

The Perils Of Alcohol

Sometimes I wonder what we pay the BBC for. We never hear about this sort of stuff. Or does it just happen in Sweden?

We've all done it...a few quick drinks after work in UmeĆ„ and then you wake up the morning after with a six inch cock tattooed on your leg.

After hitting one of the town's nightspots, our group of fuckwits headed for a hamburger joint where the lad Joel waxed lyrical about a tattoo of a moustache on a friend's finger. Pissed and stupid, he announced to all present that he too wanted a drunken tattoo. But the next booth was occupied by a tattoo artist, who offered to do it if given free rein to express himself. Which he did.

Joel said he was initially worried what his mother would think, adding that he did not bathe in public at all this summer. No shit.

At least he wasn't arrested. A couple of weeks ago, also in Sweden, a trucker overturned his lorry whilst high on drugs and furiously wanking. The brilliant bit is that he carried on pulling his cock during the police interrogation and so was charged with sexual molestation as well.

Come back #SillyWeek, all is forgiven.


Anonymous said...

I bet he felt a right prick!

Or a left one, if it was the other leg ;-)

Joe Public said...

Looks like a cactus growingout of a round-bottomed flower pot.

And to the riposte "...he must have balls", I'd ask why 4?

Andy Buck said...

I can't stop laughing Excellent Brightened up my evening no end

Captain Haddock said...

The tattooist should have done it on the daft bastard's forehead .. Which would have been even funnier ..

hangemall said...

Reminds me of the old ISIRTA gag.

A daughter sees her father in the shower.

"What are those for daddy?"


Let's seee if I can stay out of jail in this day and age.

Gigits said...

Nowt wrong with that, it's just the Loch Ness monster being sick.

Fidothedog said...

What a dickleg.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Great Tattoo. Great minds think alike. I've also got a drunk's photo on my post inspired by the proposed new drink laws by the Tories except this one got a new haircut.

banned said...

And I thought shaving me mates eyebrow off was bad.
I'm not sure if tattooing a pissed person is illegal in England but it is regarded as unethical among practitioners; mind you that prick sounds like he deserved it.

Captain Haddock said...

Hi Banned ..

I think you'll find that taking a drunken person & therefore one who is incapable of making rational decisions to a Tattooist & having them Tattooed is an assault .. Just a guess but I'd say it amounted to ABH ..

In UK, I believe its also an offence for a Tattooist to work on a drunken person for the same reasons ..

Which is why despite having been on Piss-ups from Plymouth to Valparaiso (courtesy of the "Grey Funnel Line") .. I took great care to ensure that some of the evil buggers I went ashore with .. never got me that pissed .. Lol