I originally posted this video here and as you will see some righteous fucker or other decided that they didn't like it and had it removed from YouTube. Perhaps it was Nadine herself, who knows, after all she is a 'Catergory A' whingebag after all.
Well Nadine, I'd just like to say "Don't fuck with the blogosphere!"
1) Under HM Revenue and Customs rules, you are not allowed to claim the cost of employing an accountant to fill in a self-assessment tax form as a legitimate business expense. Incidentally, he's not the only one at it of course.
2) If the Chancellor of the Exchequer fiscal fucking fucktard can't even sort out his own tax affairs, where the fuck does that leave us with regard to this Countrys dire, debt ridden economy.
Even more fiscal fucking nonsense is available here and here.
Irrespective of whether you agree with Nadine's recent comments or not, it appears that she has been censored. Her blog has been taken down. Her cache has also disappeared. Somebody has done a very thorough job.
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.'
'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Gordon Brown's clock?' asked the man.
'Brown's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.'
Gordon Brown has yet again failed to instigate any direct action against the thieving MP's who have been wantonly siphoning off tax payers cash, selfishly providing themselves with a 'fuck you' lifestyle whilst displaying a total, blatant contempt for the very people that they are supposed to represent.
Having been tagged as a co-contributor of the ASE, with regard to the current MP meme bollocks that is doing the rounds, I have duly posted my reply there. However as that place is of non fucking sweary proportions I decide that I would post an alternative version of my answers here . . . .
1. Has there ever been an occasion when you failed to notice that you have paid your mortgage off months, possibly years in advance, and just had not realised? Thankfully no. I am fiscally astute and therefore know exactly when my 17 buy-to-let RSfuckingB funded mortgages had been fulfilled. However my communications skills are worse than an unelected, testicle tickling, fois gras gorging, bogey bloated Prime Minister and I have no idea whether I've contacted the Fees Office to cease interest payment reimbursements but I'm sure they will inform me if I have omitted to do so.
2. Does your property contain a moat? Happily no it doesn't otherwise my extortionately over-fucking-priced collection of persian rugs would be ruined, costing the tax paying public another 50k of their hard earned. However I do have a rather large expanse of water, that circumnavigates my humble 23 bedroom pied-a-terre shag palace in rural Norfolk, which is constantly patrolled by a Type 1 Destroyer, manned by olive skinned ladyboys, in order to repel the very same taxpayers that have been so unwittingly generous in providing for its upkeep.
3. Do you think you could in good conscience accept a salary and allowances whilst not actually attending your place of work or office? Incredibly this situation never arises. On the rare occasions when I am unable to attend 'The House' I am usually in attendance at the house or somewhere en route between the other 6 houses that I have nominated. Although 'The House' is my main place of work I have also nominated the house as my second place of work which means, according to the rules, I am always in the house therefore completing my obligations towards adequate re-numeration.
4. If you were told that it was within the rules to go jump off a cliff, would you do it? Everyone told me that I was fucking insane to try it but eventually I came to enjoy it. However I have now had to curb my tendencies for this rather risky activity since I lost my balance and trod on the orange that was wedged in Cliff's mouth and he had to have it surgically removed from his windpipe.
5. Are you able to tell the difference between a room in a house, and an actual house? Very obvious to me. A house is large, tax payer funded object which you approach via a long driveway in your chauffeur driven Jagwaur whereas a room is a large expanse of luxuriously furnished living space funded by the tax payer.
6. Are you able to commute a distance under 35 miles for work purposes without the need for an additional house being provided? It may come as a surprise to you but the matter has never arisen. This is due to the fact that my office, as luck would have it, is only 18 paces from my kitchen accessible via a short passage way leading from the utility room. I sometimes have to ask James, my long suffering 'give-us-a-quick-handjob' chauffeur to move the Jagwaur so that I can sit at the desk and watch 'Bangkok Chick Boys Do It Doggy Style' on the internet but otherwise I find the arrangement quite convenient. Cheap to run too although I'm not sure how much I get from the taxpayer towards the running costs but I dare say those tossers at The Telegraph will drop me in the shit by letting you all know shortly.
7. Do you know what an Iron is? Now that one is easy, I have several of these contained in a large bag which is carried by George, my long suffering pink oboe playing Batman, who will then pass the appropriate one to me depending on where my balls have landed and how far away from the whole I am.
8. Is your TV or Stereo likely to need an upgrade in the next 5 years? Good grief no. It's not really worthwhile upgrading any of my essential fetish porn watching equipment as I have found it impossible to locate a qualified technician who is capable of doing this. As a result I usually find it easier, more convient and more economically viable for me to replace my jizz splatered flat screen with the latest over priced 60inch from John Lewis and have it delivered to my home at the fucked in the arse tax payers inconvenience.
9. Do you have a warped sense of humour OR Do you have a helipad? Can honestly say that I have both. (and you'll need to take a deep breath before reading this next sentence) Many a time I have laughed like an unelected, snot gobbling, pant pissing, fat fuck of a man munching Prime Minister, who is on speed filming a YouTube video, whilst I hop over to Jersey in my taxpayer funded Sea King to an all expenses paid non-fucking-working luncheon in my capacity as Fees Office watchdog.
10. If you did need two houses to live and work, do you think it possible to designate one as a main home, and stick by that decision for the duration of that employment? Undeniably yes but it never quite seems to work like that in practice. The problem is that I have 6 big, fuck the fuck off sized houses to maintain which can become a 'flipping' nuisance at times.
11. If you work in a different place to where you live – do you find yourself, or could you envision, eating twice as much food as you would if you lived more locally to work? Now, unfortunately I have a rare disease which only seems to affect the thieving cunts who are entrusted with the running the Country into the fucking ground. Its called DietrumFatCunticusEatMostest. This basically manifests itself by causing an uncontrollable urge to diet whilst in the work place and then conversely creating the need to stuff my over gorged, bloated physique with fois gras and truffles whilst relaxing in the stress free environment of my 23 bedroom tax payer funded pied-a-terre.
12. Do you know what a pergola is? Tricky question this one? As Minister for Sport I don't often take much notice of the other overpaid twats that play football so I'm not too sure if he ponces for Chelsea or Arsenal but I'll ring my Russian 'cash for questions' friend on his big fuck off yacht. He'll know.
Incidentally, if I were considering replying to this MP meme bollocks in a Liberal Democratic Party kind of way, the answers to all 12 questions would be exactly the same . . .
"Err yes, err no, err not sure but I'll sit on the fence for now until I decide which way the fucking wind is blowing."
It seems that at least one of our cash cowing Ministerial cocks is trying to offload his ill gotten Troughligate gains by flogging them on Ebay. The problem is it looks like this dumbfuck of an MP was in such a hurry that he didn't even have time to get dressed and forgot to check if the photo needed cropping before he uploaded it.
Jacqui Smith had to sit and listen while Frontline police officers told her that MPs' expense claims were enough to shame a dictator. They said that MPs were enjoying expenses that would not look out of place in a “Third-World dictatorship”.
Well, she should fucking know!
After all, she's an expert at troughing the tax payers money whilst at the same time turning this Country into a Totalitarian state.
It appears that I have been tagged by the Old Bag (thanks for fucking nothing) to tell you about the 8 things that I hate and because this is my 200th post (whoopee fucking doo so fucking what) I thought that I would do something a little bit different.
So I present the 8 Little Miss and Mr Men that I don't fucking care for much and that I'd wish would just fuck the fuck off. Any inference to an individual 'troughlitician'or any group of the troughing tossers, ispurely fucking deliberate . . . . .