Grumpy Old Twat Internet Deniers

Rather entertainingly, and totally without warning, I lost my broadband connection yesterday (and I still don't have it back). Never fear though, I thought, a quick call to those well informed and helpful people in Mumbai, or some such fucking shithole, and I'll soon have it all sorted.

Yeah right.

Oh for fuck's sake you mongtard, I know what the fucking weather is like in the UK and no I haven't changed any of my settings or fucked about with my router ..... just FIX MY FUCKING BROADBAND SUPPLY! "Ahh, OK sir .... I see what the problem is now ..... there is a fault at our end, which our technical department seem to be aware of, and we are trying to fix the problem as soon as we can." Oh, OK then, so how long will it take? "It will all be up and running again within 7 to 10 days"

*long silence*

*deep breath*

SEVEN-TO-TEN-FUCKING-DAYS!!!!

Fortunately, thanks to TheEye, I had in my possession an emergency phrase in Hindu* which he assured me would be most useful if such a situation were ever to arise ..... "Mein teri maa ko teri bhen ki choot mein chodoonga aur tera baap laltern lekar aayega", I said.

The line went dead.

So, until I can get those useless broadband fucking ISP fucktards to fix whatever the fuck it is they've fucked ... I'm fucked .... apart from a dingly dangly dongle thing which I pinched from a loved one, which means I can get some sort of sporadic connection to the internet, depending on whether Pigsy can be arsed to stand on one leg, on a stool, waving aforementioned dongle (via a USB extension lead) outside of the spare bedroom window. Assuming the big fuck off Yew trees aren't swaying in the wind and blocking the fucking signal, of course, and that I don't need her to fetch me another bottle of red.

Meanwhile, I can still pick up your emails and post comments via the TwatBerry device and those of you who are awaiting replies to emails, bear with me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'll also be trying to reply to all your post comments too ;-)

Also. many thanks to everyone who ran with, and linked to, that Richard Curtis video I posted yesterday ..... it seems to have been very popular. Good. The fucking eco fascist 10:10 terrorist twats! Hey .... you don't think that ...... no ..... surely not ...... they wouldn't do that would they? Hmmm, the mongtard in Mumbai was a bit fucking sketchy about why my broadband service had been totally disconnected .... and they were having to re-supply me from scratch.

Well then, just in case I'm not being paranoid, I'd better give you these handy new blog sidebar graphics while I still can .....

Now where's that tin foil hat ......

*translation available here

Richard Curtis Talks About The 10:10 Mini-Movie No Pressure

In this short documentary Richard Curtis, the man behind Comic Relief and the writer responsible for the 10:10 No Pressure mini-movie, gives us his insight into the making of the 'splattergate' eco fascist film. It also includes cameo appearances from Franny Armstrong, the film's director, and that tree hugging marxist and Forrest Gump impersonator, Red Ed Miliband.

Incidentally, following a tip off from a commentor here, I'm rather looking forward to today's official statement from Sony who have taken the decision to disassociate themselves as one of the official partners of the 10:10 project. I see their name has already disappeared from the list of sponsors and funders. Hmmm, I wonder if the BBC, as producers of Comic Relief, will also be withdrawing their support any time soon?

No pressure ;-)

+++ LATEST +++

Via The Filthy Engineer,
I see that the 'splattergate' outrage is starting to go global .....

My previous posts on the 10:10 eco fascists
can be found HERE and HERE.

Climate Change : The Final Solution ++++Updated++++

Much better than the original 10:10 mini-movie version .......

No pressure!



+++ UPDATE +++

How exciting!

I see those 10:10 fuckwits have got a 'Make Your Own Poster' facility on their webshite. Well .... it'd be fucking rude not to, wouldn't it. Here's mine ......

Have a go yourself HERE ;-)

#cpc10 Logo Fail

I'm with WofW on this one .....

Cameron has wrapped himself, his Party and his Government in the Union Flag with the conference slogan "Together in the national interest", having at the same time 'Union Jacked' their tree symbol.

For any one of the Lib/Lab/Con to present themselves as a patriotic party is an affront to the intelligence of the British People, who are becoming more aware by the day of the leeching of powers to Brussels. It is doubly hurtful for the British people when the Conservatives join in this facile attempt to boost their ratings as that party have in the past been very much for Queen and Country - well, until that bastard Heath appeared on the scene, that is.

Together in the national interest? Fuck off!

Who the fuck do they think they're kidding ..... surely my humble version of the Conservative Party Conference logo would be far more appropriate in the circumstances ......

Btw, did anyone else see the three stooges on the Adam Boulton Show this morning? Fuck me! Did they just find out they weren't getting paid for their appearance (heaven forbid) or did somebody die? They looked like pallbearers at a funeral, waiting for the coffin to turn up ...... 

Ryder Cup Trivia #137

Apparently this pair of 'five-a-day' dodging, socially retarded, bad tempered, media inept, sexually deviant, miserable jockanese twats are thought to have been separated at birth.

Can't say I'm surprised.

Incidentally, we're still not allowed to even discuss that super injunction nonsense. Perhaps it'll all come out into the open once the Ryder Cup is over. Especially if we lose.

Just saying ;-)

Saturday Night Karaoke

Still incandescent with rage after yesterday's post and haven't been able to think about much else, to be honest, despite downing a few bottles of the red calming fluid. So, I thought, how about a bit of Saturday night karaoke ... that should soothe the Grumpy Old Twat a little ......

Well, the phone rang, I answered it, ticked like crazy, then thought why not record Rick Astley's classic track, Never Gonna Give You Up"

The Main Meal

Tic of the hat to Microdave ;-)

No Pressure ++Updated++

Does anyone out there know what effect industrial quantities of boiled piss has on the habitat of polar bears ..... I can't think it does the seal scoffing furry fuckers many favours. So perhaps the likes of Richard Curtis, Gillian Anderson, Radiohead and a group of fucktard Spurs football players might like to think about that before they start trying to brain wash our kids with this load of scaremongering bollocks:

How the fucketty fuck do 10:10UK suppose that this self gratifying, holier than fucking thou, delusional, over indulgent, warmist wankfest of a 'mini-movie' is going to help reduce environmentally damaging emissions.

1. The 40 or so strong film crew all walked to the locations and used solar power to run all their lorry loads of equipment, did they.

2. They hadn't reckoned on a tsunami of boiled piss sweeping all before it every time I watched that load of liberal lefty propaganda, causing untolled environmental destruction.

3. MMGW is total bollocks anyway.

Oh, and if you'd like to tell those 10:10 twats what you think via Twitter then you can twatter the twatting twats right here ..... @1010 ..... No Pressure.

+++UPDATED+++

As mentioned in the comments, due to the uproar, 10:10 have already pulled the video from YouTube but they're fucking well  mistaken if they think it's going to disappear that easily. MicroDave has already uploaded a copy to EyeTube, so here it is:

Richard 'the climate cunt' Curtis and his warmist mutual masturbation mongs have also issued an apology of an apology and, courtesy of SadButMadLad via the comments, here's what it says:

"Today we put up a mini-movie about 10:10 and climate change called 'No Pressure’.

With climate change becoming increasingly threatening, and decreasingly talked about in the media, we wanted to find a way to bring this critical issue back into the headlines whilst making people laugh. We were therefore delighted when Britain's leading comedy writer, Richard Curtis - writer of Blackadder, Four Weddings, Notting Hill and many others – agreed to write a short film for the 10:10 campaign. Many people found the resulting film extremely funny, but unfortunately some didn't and we sincerely apologise to anybody we have offended.

As a result of these concerns we've taken it off our website.

We'd like to thank the 50+ film professionals and 40+ actors and extras and who gave their time and equipment to the film for free. We greatly value your contributions and the tremendous enthusiasm and professionalism you brought to the project.

At 10:10 we're all about trying new and creative ways of getting people to take action on climate change. Unfortunately in this instance we missed the mark. Oh well, we live and learn.

Onwards and upwards,

Eugenie, Franny, Lizzie and the whole 10:10 team"

What a load of fucking bollocks.
Free? Free my fucking arse. Here are the financiers .....

ActionAid
The Carbon Trust
The Energy Saving Trust
The Guardian
O2
Sony
Kyocera

They have all helped to fund the 10:10 Campaign.



My piss hasn't stopped boiling yet.