Thursday, 2 December 2010

World Cup Snow Balls

Like a lot of people in the UK at the moment, I seem to be at the mercy of that mild autumn weather that the Met Office promised us all. Yep! This grumpy old twat is knee fucking deep in flakes of global warming and unable to get to work (a-fucking-gain).


So I popped on the Sky News to catch up with all the latest headlines MSM filtered fuckwittery  and ... what the fuck! I was greeted with some be-spectacled, suit wearing, numbnuts in Zurich banging on nineteen to the fucking dozen in dago-ese or some such bollocks. Apparently I had arrived just in time to hear the live presentation of Spain and Portugal's World Cup bid... or some such shit.

What's worse is that I very soon realised that all this 'live' World Cup bid bollocks is going on all fucking day! This is 'news' is it? Who the fuck cares? Oh, how silly of me, I almost forgot that's why the the Twat Boy Three are over there .... England are making a bid for the World Cup in 2018 *yawn*. Yes, iDave the spineless euro cock sucker, Willie (whose name sounds like a cock and has a big cock) and Becks a bottled lager a  talentless cock who once kicked a bladder around on some grass for 90 minutes (like a complete cock), are trying to secure the bid to host the 2018 World Cup in England.

The only reason they are there is 'automatic qualification'. England are so shit at football they don't stand a fucking chance in qualifying any other way. The over payed, talentless, tosspots are far to busy drink driving their Bentley's and taking their teammates' wives up the wrong 'un to have the where with all to actually do what they are fucking paid for!


Now where was I? Oh yes ....

Oi, Highways Dept desk jockey jerk offs ... pin your fucking ears back!
We don't all live within 6 fucking feet of a motorway or drive a big fuck off 4 x fucking 4. When the fuck are you twats going to get your act together and clear the sodding snow off the roads so that I can get back to work and earn some fucking money!

We're not all work shy employees of the state you know.
Some of us REALLY do want to work.


I've paid my car tax, I've paid my council tax. So I suggest that you lardy arsed, desk jockey jerk offs  get the fuck on with what I've fucking well paid you to do!
.

24 comments:

Woodsy42 said...

No, fifa is not news, it is the 'circuses' bit of the 'bread and circuses' supplied by the failing government to keep us happy.

Captain Haddock said...

I drive a fuck-off big 4 x 4 Gotty .. and I struggled on the roads where I live .. because the winky-wanky Council have done fuck all (again) ..

Oh .. sorry, I was forgetting the appearance down my street (just after it snowed on Friday) of the Street Sweeping vehicle .. We'll probably see a Gritter in time for festering Easter .. 

They've also suspended Bin collections .. but have thoughtfully parked Refuse vehicles at "strategic points" for people to take their rubbish to .. So now not only do I pay the Council to take my refuse .. but I'm expected to fucking well deliver it to them as well ..

By this time next week, if there's still snow on the ground .. I'm expecting the Council to ask that any refuse be fucking gift-wrapped too ..

Bastard ration thieves ... I hope the local Chavs nick their Bin lorries ...

Anonymous said...

FUKIN MADE ME LAUGH YOU CUNT

Anonymous said...

Gritting? Fuck all even on the main roads. Of course it was impossible to predict snow, what WITH IT BEING FUCKING WINTER YOU IDIOTS! 
:-[

MTG said...

"This grumpy old twat is knee f**king deep in <span>flakes of global warming</span>". I belong to the other school of thought so shame on me for rolling in laughter at this, Gotty.

Our Council is pretty much closed down due to the wrong snow falling at the wrong time and drifting in the wrong places. Priority Council staff doing wages and bonuses are being airlifted between work and the mosque.

Captn Swing said...

As I was leaving the house the other day after spending 15 minutes clearing the solid ice off the windscreen I put the radio on only to hear some numbnuts from the met office telling me that this year will be the warmest on record!!!

Where do they get these cunts from because surely its not this planet.

microdave said...

You can send some "Global Warming" down my way if you want. The small "fuck off 4x4" hasn't had to show its capabilities yet, as we've only had a smattering of the white stuff. However what has fallen is now a compacted frozen mess on the pavements, and I'm fully expecting to go arse over tit before much longer...

And yesterday I saw a bus broken down with flames pouring from the engine compartment. How that managed to occur with a biting East wind blowing, I'd love to know. There are videos showing how difficult it is to ignite diesel fuel - even firing incendary bullets through a can of it just puts them out!

Dioclese said...

I don't give a fuck because I've stocked up the larder and the wine rack, battened down the hatches, and I don't have to work because we live on the £109 a fucking week given to us by the government - or to put it another that the government is giving back to me out of my own money.

And we just got our £250 winter fuel payment as well - so that's gone straight down the offie!

Please Christ let us lose the fucking bid! After all, we're all in it together eh Dave?

...and didn't they play rugby at your school?

Andrew Ampers Taylor said...

Gotty, why don't you press the red button and get the other news?

GrumpyOldTwat said...

Good idea .... just as soon as I've finished glueing the remote control back together ;)

killemallletgodsortemout said...

That tax disc holder is as funny as fuck.

I like to see the Muzzies and darkies struggling in the snow. Have a look at 'em.

They fucking hate it.

GrumpyOldTwat said...

@Killemallletgodsortemout
Don't know what the fuck happened but your comment ended up in the old Blogger system somehow and not here ?! *dunno* - so I've CP'd it for you here:

That tax disc holder is as funny as fuck.
I like to see the Muzzies and darkies struggling in the snow. Have a look at 'em. They fucking hate it.

Anonymous said...

Gtreat tax holder, can I have one that says "No Parking Tickets, have already paid through the nose!"

Killemallletgodsortemout said...

That mind bleach pic is excellent!

Ad said...

Gotty.... Ever considered marketing that Tax Disc Holder?  I love it..

Captain Haddock said...

Bloody good idea .. I'd buy one (or three) ..

You could do one which says .. "This vehicle is fitted with CCTV & you're on it .. now fuck off, prod-nose" ... 

Captain Haddock said...

...and didn't they play rugby at your school?

Yes, that and "hide the sausage up the fag's hoop" ....

SadButMadLad said...

And replacing the TV with a new one. ;)

SadButMadLad said...

And replacing the TV with a new one. ;)

Bring On The Revolution said...

No Gotty we won't get the roads gritted as the Muzzie-luvvie multi-fucking-cultural Council cunts will be sending all their fucking useless staff on Diversity-fucking-awareness courses!!!

Captain Haddock said...

Oh how true BOTR ..

But I couldn't help noticing earlier today that all the roads immediately around my local Council Offices .. and the Council Staff Car Park had all been well gritted and/or cleared of snow ...

What I'd really like to know is .. if the Bin men aren't collecting rubbish .. just what are they doing & are they still being paid ?

Cos, where I live, they certainly haven't been re-deployed slinging grit around .. in fact, were it not for photos in the local rag, I would seriously doubt the existence of either Snow Ploughs or Gritting Lorries .. 

banned said...

Nah, it's gonna be the second warmest year on record, despite the earlier elongated freezy winter, a summer only slightly less shite than the previous three and this  novembers snow which hasn't been seen in these parts for twenty fucking years.

banned said...

Our Cunty Council haven't fixed  most of the potholes from last winter yet but they have troubled theirselves to repair and enhance the speed bumps thoughout our most troubled housing estates for which the prisoners therein must be truly grateful.

banned said...

Bin men don't do gritting, road repair crews do that, except for the one stood by for emergencies. Woman from Highways told me that.