Why are England so bad at football? Is the X Factor fixed? Who is Justin Bieber? What does the Grumpy Old Twat do for a living*? Where is Raoul Moat? These are just some of the all important questions that are worrying Jill and Joe Public, across the UK at the moment.
Oh for fuck's sake! Is that really what the majority of the UK are worried about these days. What about the Afghan War, the demise of decent Justice in this country, the corruption of the European Union and the continuing islamification of the UK which is eroding our sovereignty, the total bollocks that is MMGW ....
.... or the state's 24/7 surveillance of everything we do or say?
There are for more important things afoot.
Just look at the full Top 20 list of 'rising questions' on the Ask Jeeves website:
1. Why are England so bad at football?
2. Is the X-Factor fixed?
3. What is the Government going to cut next?
4. Who is Justin Bieber?
5. Did I vote for the right party?
6. Do all footballers cheat?
7. Should I buy an iPad?
8. What is Glee?
9. Why didn't Coleen leave Wayne?
10. Will Big Brother ever come back?
11. Why didn't Cheryl put Gamu through?
12. Where can I buy a micro pig?
13. Will I still get child benefit?
14. How are the Chilean miners surviving?
15. Where is the ash cloud?
16. Why did that woman put the cat in the bin?
17. When will the recession end?
18. Who killed Archie Mitchell?
19. Where can I buy a vuvuzela?
20. Where is Raoul Moat?
Give me strength.
Will all the fuckwits who are living in cloud-fucking-cuckoo land, please wake the fuck up and smell the twatting coffee! If you don't do it soon it'll be too fucking late and then you'll be asking the question: "I was watching X Factor at the time and didn't notice a thing but when was it exactly that we all became totally fucked?
+++ UPDATE +++
And that's from someone who actually won the very first X Factor! Fair play to him for taking the trouble to comment although I object to being compared to Alf Garnett. He was a reactionary, mean-spirited, selfish, bigoted, anti-Irish, anti-Catholic, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, West Ham supporting anti-Semitic played by a Jewish actor ... wasn't he?
Perhaps Steve just meant I was a reactionary ;-)
*I made that fucker up, obviously.