Fucking Pinch Me .... Quick!

I think I am about to blackout due to incandescent rage. What the fuck, in all that is totally un-fucking-believable, is fucking bastard well going on HERE.

Eid Mubarak

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

It's The WTF Video Of The Year

Boobs that look like dolphins?
Do you think they did that on porpoise?

What the fuck!

Tip of the flipper to Joe Public for the spot ;-)

We Are Sailing

Seven metre seas and 50 knot winds hit a ship during a severe storm off the New Zealand coast. This piece of CCTV footage picks up the effects it had on some of the passengers and crew.

Funny as fuck ......

Tip of the sou'wester to Rod for the heads up ;-)

+++ Mark Andrews Jailed For 6 Months +++ UPDATED +++

As a result of this appallingly brutal and cowardly attack.

 6 fucking months! Is that all. He'll be out in 3.
And Wiltshire Police still haven't sacked him.

His laywer, Jeremy Barton, has already submitted appeal papers.
What. The. Fuck.

Sky News report here

Ellie Sucks Up To Balls

Unless you can think of a better caption of course?

How very progressive. Ellie Gellard gives Balls the benefit of her deft fingertip skills during yesterday's live webchat on Mumsnet which actually involved all 5 of the Labour leader candidates, in yet another pointless display of 'huffing and puffing, before Dave MiniBlair is duly 'elected'.

If you look at the same webchat from another angle, you will see that Balls is the only one incapable of typing for himself. Fuck me, even his prime mentalist mentor managed the odd stubby finger or two on such occasions!

However, Balls did manage a rebuttle of his unshakeable bullying tag: "If you have a surname like mine, you know what bullying is like when you are a child. I hate bullies I think they are cowards. So if you don't shut the fuck up I'll rip your fucking ears off and use them for ashtrays".

Other highlights included a laptop malfunction for Andy Burnham, after he spilt mascara all over his keyboard, and Diane Abbott announcing: "I have no advisors on this campaign, isn't though, I'm quite capable of finking for myself, innit, and writing my own speeches. Dew get me?" Oh, and Dave MiniBlair's biscuit of choice is a custard cream but rumours that Ed MiliMinor still enjoys a rusk dipped in warm milk were unconfirmed.

Tits 'n' Arse

Some days must be more entertaining than others when your sole job in life is to conjure up witty and/or  accurate headlines for a news story. Take this one for example:

Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case

Leaving aside the distressing facts that actually lie behind that headline, the writer who produced it must have had a fucking grin the size of an 18 stone cheshire cat after being handed the editorial for that story.

Then there's this one:

Half-Naked Cumbrian Woman Masturbated

Whilst Driving On Motorway After She Wet Herself

Whoa! Whoever was responsible for that, obviously decided to fill his fucking boots and just couldn't resist tagging on that extra piece of 'information over share' at the end. No wonder really, the actual story behind that one is jammed packed full of 'titterfest' moments.

Oh .... and I know exactly what you dirty bastards are thinking too. "What the fuck does she look like? Is she fit". Well, far be it from me to err. .... spill the bean, why not judge for yourselves, the 'lady' in question can be seen HERE.

Anyhow, there must be shitloads more of these out there, somewhere, that will surely amuse and entertain us all. Have you got any fine examples that you'd like to share? The problem is it's only Monday and I'm already as grumpy as fucking fuck, especially after seeing that video over at Cato's. It's fucking ages until TFIF so I could really do with something to make me break the fuck out into a smile.

Tip of the twat to Caratacus and Microdave for the two examples above ;-)