No BOTR - Plod will be able to take as many piccies as they like but they won't be able to tell the fuckers apart.
Hey! I've just had a brilliant idea (I do occasionally) - I'm self-employed and have to drive about a fair bit, commercial vehicles, dangerous goods etc, and I'm always getting stopped by plod and/or VOSA where they fuck me about for at least an hour while they crawl all over my vehicle (spotless) and through my paperwork (invariably flawless) before reluctantly allowing me to continue on my much delayed way. What I'm going to do is change my name to Abdul-Qahhar Mohammed, grow a full beard AND wear a burqa. The inside of my cab will be decorated throughout with crescents, pictures of AK47s at full chat and a handy selection of placards bearing such intelligence as, "Death to all Infidels" "7/7 - more is coming" "Behead the Unbelievers" "Allah bless the martyrs".
Do you think the fuckers will leave me alone then?
Thanks for the pointers. And how did you know my youthful good looks are beset by the all too early onset of a couple of grey hairs? Here and there? As Billy Connolly remarked, nobody told me that the old pubic hairs were the first to go grey. In a certain light 'himself' looks like Stewart Granger... What's that dark red stuff called?
Well I know the utterly useless Old Bill cunts would be absolutely shit scared terrified of being accused of "Racist" if they dared to stop you, that's for sure. You can just Imagine them going through all that "Diversity-fucking-awareness" form filling and box-ticking bollocks....."Are you Black/African/Caribbean/Other, British/White/European/Other,Asian/Indian/Paki-fucking-stani/Bangla-fucking-deshi, gypsy/traveller. Are you also Christian/Jew/Fucking Muzzie cunt/Hindu/Sikh/Buddhist/Other, finally are you Gay/Lesbian/Trans-fucking-gender/other"....It just goes to show what a fucking shit hole this slum of a fucking country Britain really has become!!!
Did try the "Traveller Get Out Of Jail Free" card once with one copper (he was ex-RAF regiment and had the milk of human kindness in his one glass eye) but he just laughed like a fucking cavalier and pointed to the in-date tax disc at the bottom left of my windscreen and said I was an imposter.
Its not actually a red red (as in pillar box) .. more of a dark chestnut ..
Anyway, they look complete twats wearing it .. so I'd avoid if possible .. and in any case, what sort of wanker grows a "set" & then chops the "Tache" out of it ? .. ;)
That's funny :)
ReplyDelete"CACA" is right.
And you don't even need to understand French. A picture is worth a thousand words, this video is worth a million words :)
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine if BBC luvvies made this? Like Richerd Curtis...
ReplyDeleteThere'd be a right hoo hah and sackings all round.
Can you imagine if BBC luvvies made this? Like Richerd Curtis...
ReplyDeleteThere'd be a right hoo hah and sackings all round.
Can you imagine if BBC luvvies made this? Like Richerd Curtis...
ReplyDeleteThere'd be a right hoo hah and sackings all round.
Maybe it's time to trade in the Panda for a Humvee??
ReplyDeleteLet us not take the Mohammed and prejudice the new Ghetto Burka.
ReplyDeleteIt's compulsory in Tower hamlets after Monday.
ReplyDeleteThat might have a side benefit - with any luck they will soon run themselves over, and solve the problem!
ReplyDeleteWell posted Gotty .. another bloody keyboard drowned in spluttered tea ... ;)
ReplyDeleteComing to a branch of Halford's near you .... :)
Brilliant and like the good Captain, it made me burst out laughing.
ReplyDeleteExcellent.
ReplyDeleteGawdelpus, you need to laugh about the situation. If you dwelt on it, you'd end up in tears!
So does that mean the Muzzie cunts are now exempt from being photographed by the speed cameras?
ReplyDeleteWell .. they appear to be exempt from every other breach of the law which they commit ..
ReplyDeleteSo I suppose immunity from prosecution for speeding would merely be a natural progression ..
No BOTR - Plod will be able to take as many piccies as they like but they won't be able to tell the fuckers apart.
ReplyDeleteHey! I've just had a brilliant idea (I do occasionally) - I'm self-employed and have to drive about a fair bit, commercial vehicles, dangerous goods etc, and I'm always getting stopped by plod and/or VOSA where they fuck me about for at least an hour while they crawl all over my vehicle (spotless) and through my paperwork (invariably flawless) before reluctantly allowing me to continue on my much delayed way. What I'm going to do is change my name to Abdul-Qahhar Mohammed, grow a full beard AND wear a burqa. The inside of my cab will be decorated throughout with crescents, pictures of AK47s at full chat and a handy selection of placards bearing such intelligence as, "Death to all Infidels" "7/7 - more is coming" "Behead the Unbelievers" "Allah bless the martyrs".
Do you think the fuckers will leave me alone then?
FFS "C" .. you'll be completely bomb-proof mate .. no bastard would dare stop you, let alone inconvenience you ..
ReplyDeletePS .. don't forget a set of green, tasselled curtains for the cab .. and a couple of "wailing" Muezzin CD's ..
And you'll have to daub some of that dark red stuff into your "set" .. (you know, the stuff haggard old brasses use to hide the grey) .. ;)
PMSL Captain! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the pointers. And how did you know my youthful good looks are beset by the all too early onset of a couple of grey hairs? Here and there? As Billy Connolly remarked, nobody told me that the old pubic hairs were the first to go grey. In a certain light 'himself' looks like Stewart Granger... What's that dark red stuff called?
Well even if you do get stopped you can always play the "race" card.......
ReplyDeleteAaaaaarrrrggghhhh!
ReplyDeleteWell I know the utterly useless Old Bill cunts would be absolutely shit scared terrified of being accused of "Racist" if they dared to stop you, that's for sure. You can just Imagine them going through all that "Diversity-fucking-awareness" form filling and box-ticking bollocks....."Are you Black/African/Caribbean/Other, British/White/European/Other,Asian/Indian/Paki-fucking-stani/Bangla-fucking-deshi, gypsy/traveller. Are you also Christian/Jew/Fucking Muzzie cunt/Hindu/Sikh/Buddhist/Other, finally are you Gay/Lesbian/Trans-fucking-gender/other"....It just goes to show what a fucking shit hole this slum of a fucking country Britain really has become!!!
ReplyDeleteDid try the "Traveller Get Out Of Jail Free" card once with one copper (he was ex-RAF regiment and had the milk of human kindness in his one glass eye) but he just laughed like a fucking cavalier and pointed to the in-date tax disc at the bottom left of my windscreen and said I was an imposter.
ReplyDeleteGreat plan, do keep us informed.
ReplyDeleteBotR forgot 'intergender' whatever the fuck perversion that might be.
I've got a feeling it might be called Henna ..
ReplyDeleteIts not actually a red red (as in pillar box) .. more of a dark chestnut ..
Anyway, they look complete twats wearing it .. so I'd avoid if possible .. and in any case, what sort of wanker grows a "set" & then chops the "Tache" out of it ? .. ;)
Oh that's a corker. I did laugh loudly.
ReplyDeleteRight - that's decided then. Permission to grow, Captain?
ReplyDelete